The Road Not Taken
by Lady Ophelia
Summary: The face of the war between Light and Dark will never be the same after Hope disappears from the ranks of the Chosen. Can the balance be restored before the Darkness conquers both worlds?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:  I don't own Digimon… 

AN:  Okay… Hello, Digimon fans!  If you've looked at my profile, you'll see this is my first Digimon fic.  It's a gift for my best friend Jen.  Any input is appreciated, especially in regards to any small mistakes I make in writing this.  On that note, could anyone please point me towards a good episode guide for seasons one and two?  I haven't seen many episodes, just the movie, really, and I'm going to be using just season one and two characters and plot lines.

This is a 'what if' sort of fic… as in, what if TK disappeared before season one?  How would the characters cope?  Yamato, his family, Kari, and Patamon?  This will be Takari, because having read many fics with many pairings, hope and light just makes sense.  Also, I was a huge fan of Kale, and therefore have been forever disposed to that pairing.  If anyone has copies of Kale's fics, by the way, could they share?  I can't find them anywhere, and I really loved them.  Sigh.

Anyway, this is, again, my first digimon fic, so please review, so I know how I'm doing…

Lady Ophelia

The Road Not Taken
    
    Chapter One 
    
    _Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,_
    
    _And sorry I could not travel both_
    
    _And be one traveler, long I stood _
    
    _And looked down one as far as I could_
    
    _To where it bent in the undergrowth;_
    
    _Then took the other, as just as fair_
    
    _And having perhaps the better claim,_
    
    _Because it was grassy and wanted wear;_
    
    _Though as for that, the passing there_
    
    _Had worn them really about the same,_
    
    _And both that morning equally lay_
    
    _In leaves no step had trodden black_
    
    _Oh, I kept the first for another day!_
    
    _Yet knowing how way leads on to way,_
    
    _I doubted if I should ever come back._
    
    _I shall be telling this with a sigh_
    
    _Somewhere ages and ages hence:_
    
    _Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- _
    
    _I took the one less traveled by,_

_And that has made all the difference._

                                                                        _"The Road Not Taken"_

_                                                                                                Robert Frost_

Gennai had good intentions.  The fate of two worlds was careening out of control, held in check only by the combined destinies of eight human beings.  It was a good plan… all the pieces fit, each piece essential to the completion of the whole.  Especially two pieces… Light… Hope… a heavy burden, to be sure.  Their souls were ancient; strong… the two fueled each other, and in turn, sustained the Digital World.  As long as all the pieces stayed in place, as long as everything went according to plan, victory would be theirs. 

Of the Guardians, only Azulongmon, currently chained by darkness, approved of the plan.  But now the Eastern Guardian was powerless to act, and the other Guardians professed little faith in the Chosen.  They looked back, and rightfully so, on the last summoning of the digidestined, which had been less than successful.  Had the Darkness been turned back?  The answer was yes—but only barely, though Gennai was loath to admit it.  Only two crests had fully survived the final assault, and it was only through their intercession that the Digital World still remained.  

This time it would be different… the configuration was different… Friendship and Courage were much more strategically placed.  The rest of the crests would benefit from the unity of sibling bonds… and if all else failed, a second wave of destined children was also prepared, with Hope and Light as the common denominator between the two groups.  This time, it would work.  The peace that Gennai had so diligently pursued for so many long centuries would finally settle upon both worlds.

Of course, the unknown variable in this equation, as Gennai well knew, was free will.  Humans (and Digimon, when you get right down to it) had it in spades.  The Chosen Children were just that—children.  Children with parents, and emotions, and—God help him—hormones, who would not, _could not_, be controlled or compelled by their crests.  The crests could only guide them to a point, providing all nine virtues could work in concert without interference from the Dark Forces.  They could win… _if_ they didn't end up eating each other alive. 

"_IF_" is a very ugly word when you're trying to save the world.

Gennai had good intentions.

We all know what road is paved with those.
    
    _Some say the world will end in fire;_
    
    _Some say in ice._
    
    _From what I've tasted of desire_
    
    _I hold with those who favor fire._
    
    _But if it had to perish twice,_
    
    _I think I know enough of hate_
    
    _To know that for destruction ice_
    
    _Is also great_
    
    _And would suffice._

                                    _"Fire and Ice"_

_                                                Robert Frost_

Nancy Takaishi-Ishida's marriage was falling apart.  What was once a loving family was fragmenting into something unrecognizable before her very eyes… the chill of indifference was creeping in, cooling the warm affections that had once filled her life.  Malcolm's hours at work grew longer and longer as he distanced himself from his family… and for reasons she could not name, except with ugly labels like spite and revenge, she did the same, logging more hours at the paper in the last six months than she had in two years prior _combined._  She wanted to hurt Malcolm with her absence, hurt him like he had hurt her… the first forgotten anniversary, the first missed Christmas… the beautiful dinner she had cooked sat on the table all night, as she cried herself to sleep in the bedroom and Yamato put himself to bed, hungry.  

Yamato… she sighed deeply.  She had wanted revenge, but against who?  Yamato was the one who suffered; languishing in daycares while his parents waged their own cold war.  A war of feigned affection, of icy sarcasm and venomous looks, and most of all, worst of all, a war of indifference.  Nancy felt she could have handled it if he hated her.  At the very least, hatred is something, it takes energy and thought… but indifference.  That was what really stung, what ached in her heart—or what was left of the broken pieces of it—that he could not care about her… that he could simply cease to care.  He didn't even know she had a doctors appointment today… he hadn't even noticed that she was sick.  

He wouldn't have cared anyway.

She shifted, wincing as the stiff paper she sat on crackled beneath her.  The harsh fluorescent lighting made her look haggard in the mirror on the opposite wall, and she grimaced, realizing she looked as bad as she felt.  The office was small, every inch of space utilized as economically as possible, as all offices in the immensely overpopulated city of Tokyo tended to be.  The walls were stark, bearing only a few pieces of bland, monochromatic art.  Just as Nancy swung her eyes to the ceiling to consider the make and number of its tiles to alleviate her boredom, the doctor returned.

"Ahh… Ms. Takaishi, we have the results of your tests…" said the doctor, a tiny elderly man with deep creases almost concealing his eyes and white hair pulled into a topknot.  Placing the chart on his desk, he turned and smiled serenely up at her, clasping his hands behind his back.  "To make a long story short, Ms. Takaishi, you are pregnant."   

For a long moment, Nancy gaped at the tiny man, attempting to rationalize the information.  _**Pregnant?  Well… that explains the morning sickness…but how did…how could we… GOOD HEAVENS, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE DID THAT!?!?  I don't know… I don't think… Good God, it isn't his…it isn't his…it could be his…maybe it is…well, what he doesn't know can't hurt him.  A baby…a baby…a…ba…by…**_

"Ms. Takaishi?  Are you all right?  You look rather faint… perhaps you should lay down…" the doctor murmured soothingly, his soft words breaking into her reverie.  He watched as she focused glazed blue eyes on him with a concentrated effort, the dazed look slowly falling away to reveal a far different gleam.  A faint light in her deep sapphire eyes, and the old man smiled in slight triumph as he recognized it.

Hope.

Nancy hummed softly to herself as she paid the receptionist, filled with warmth she hadn't felt in far too long.  A baby!  Malcolm loved children!  Despite his long absences, he had doted on Yamato, and still did, come to think of it.  _This_ would save her family… she just knew it.  Another baby!  Yamato, she thought wryly, would be less than pleased at first, but he would grow into the role of older sibling.  It would be good for him to have someone to play with, too.  He seemed such a… distant child at times, so cool, even when she cuddled him and put him to bed.  Yes, she thought joyfully, I have high hopes for this child.

The doctor smiled up at her as he entered the waiting room.  "Have a nice day, Ms. Takaishi," he said, and she grinned in response.  

"Now," he murmured, "who's next?  Ah, yes, Mrs. Kamiya, I'm ready for you now.  Just follow me please…" he said, turning back towards the examination room.  In the waiting area, a frazzled looking young brunette, obviously pregnant, heaved herself off one of the deep plaid couches with a profound groan.  She walked over the television, and tugged at a small boy adorned with wild brown hair and a deep pout.

"C'mon Taichi, Mommy's gotta see the doctor now.  I can't leave you alone out here; you'll wreck the place.  Remember, you promised to sit quietly in the doctor's office and NOT TOUCH ANYTHING while Mommy gets her checkup…come ON Taichi…"

As she passed, she and Nancy traded the weary smile that was the internationally understood to say, 'Yes, I have a three-year-old boy, too… and however bad yours is, I'd stake my life that mine's worse.'  Just as the brunette disappeared from sight, Nancy heard the boy's voice raised in query.

"Mommy, if I'm good, will I get a baby brother like Daddy said?"

Nancy and the receptionist traded knowing glances and stifled their laughter as the exasperated mother replied, "God, I hope not!"

Yamato looked doubtfully from one grinning parent to another.  The fact that they were both together, in the same room, not arguing—but actually agreeing—was enough to send him running for his security blanket.  His cool blue eyes swung between the two adults for a long moment.  A younger brother or sister… someone to eat up his parents already limited time and attention.  Someone to take… and break… his toys, someone to tag along and require his attention, someone to be more special than him.

His parents waited patiently for his reaction.

Yamato decided to frown.

Nine Months Later 

"GOD, MALCOLM THIS IS ALL—YOUR—FAULT!  OHHHHHH!"

"Breath, Nancy… You're doing great!  Just a little bit longer, you're doing so well…"

Malcolm wiped the sweat from his wife's forehead, ignoring the feverish glare she was shooting him.  Looking back, the last nine months had marked a renaissance in his relationship with his wife.  The news that they were going to have another child had cleaned the slate… the past became insignificant when you had the future to concentrate on.  He'd started coming home early again, spending more time with his growing family.  He had again focused on his wife, leaving her notes and surprises, finding again the spontaneous, romantic side that had somehow drowned in a sea of bitterness.  In turn, Nancy had blossomed under the attention, shedding the jealousy and the incessant demands and regaining the pure light that had characterized her personality when they had been newlyweds.  Her current understandable anger notwithstanding, of course.

Even Yamato had begun to come around in the end, the infectious joy in the house getting to him eventually, despite all his best efforts of sulking, pouting, and essentially being mad 'forever and ever.'  The recently proposed idea that, as the older sibling, he would be in charge, had appealed to him, as had the idea that he would be considered a 'grown up,' compared to the baby.  Although he had made sure to inform his father that morning that the fact that baby would be coming out Mommy's stomach was 'totally gross.' 

He'd laughed then, but faced now with the staggering reality of natural childbirth, he was rather inclined to agree with his son's assessment.  It may be a miracle, but he had NO idea how his wife was doing it!

"JESUS CHRIST!  MALCOLM, ARE YOU GOING TO COACH ME OR ARE YOU HERE TO GAWK?  IT'S NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE!"

Yes, his beloved Nancy, the light of his life…

"MAAALLLLCOOLLMMM!!!!!!"

"WHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"Mr. and Mrs. Ishida, it's a beautiful baby boy!"

As the tiny bundle was placed in her arms, tears of joy coursed down Nancy's face.  "Oh, Malcolm, he looks just like Yamato did… he's so beautiful…ohhhhh… hello!  Hello little guy… I'm your mama… yes I am…" She tore her eyes away from her miracle to grin tearfully at her husband.  "He's perfect… so perfect…"

Malcolm, tears flowing down his face as well, only smirked.  " Of course he is… he looks just like you!"  She blushed and focused again on the wailing bundle in her arm as Malcolm leaned over and kissed her on her forehead.  "I love you.  I'll go get Yamato…" 

He kissed the baby and then her again, before turning and heading towards the waiting room where Yamato was being watched by his addled but excited Grandmother.  Basking under the warmth of his renewed love and admiration, Nancy watched her husband go before turning back to her youngest son.

Snuggling him close to her heart, she gazed into his blue eyes, a blue that seemed different than hers or Yamato's… the same sapphire, but deeper… older.  Euphoria pushed her abstract thoughts aside, however, and she could only whisper into the tiny ear, "Thank you, Takeru, for bringing me my hopes and more…"
    
    _Wait the great teacher Death, and God adore! _
    
    _What future bliss, he gives not thee to know, _
    
    _But gives that Hope to be thy blessing now. _
    
    _Hope springs eternal in the human breast…_

                                                                                    "An Essay on Man"                                                                                                 Alexander Pope Three and a half years later… 

"Matt… wake up… c'mon…" 

Matt grumbled as small hands tugged relentlessly at the sleeve of his pajamas.  "G'way TK… there's nothin' in your closet…"  

The older boy had already checked his brother's room for any evil things that might be lurking in the closet or under the bed.  TK had been agitated all day, looking out the window fretfully as though he was expecting the sky to fall at any moment.  When he had been put to bed, he had cried and said that there was 'bad' in the room.  He hadn't been satisfied until his mother had woken Matt and had him search the room.  TK had then reluctantly allowed himself to be put back to bed, still whimpering about the 'dark thing' that he had been on about all day.  Though his parents had been skeptical, as adults tend to be, Matt had been a little disturbed by his brother's persistence.  He had noticed, far more than his parents, that his little brother, who rarely acted out in such a way, had a particular sense about certain things.  Matt couldn't really explain it; TK just seemed to know who to trust, who was deceitful, and whether or not something was wrong.  If TK kept insisting something was wrong, than Matt was willing to bet that it was.  However, there wasn't really anything he could do about it, either way.

His anxiety about his brother had already robbed him of quite a bit of sleep, and he was rather perturbed that he was about to lose more.  Matt wasn't normally patient except where his brother was concerned, but at this point even TK was pushing it.  He burrowed his head further into his pillow, hoping against hope the younger boy would give up and go away.  Not that he had known TK to give up on anything, ever, but he supposed there was a first time for everything.  As if TK had heard his thoughts, the tugging on his sleeve ceased.  Matt was about to heave a sigh of relief when a soft voice spoke.

"But the bad is here… in the sky… come look Matt! C'mon!"

Matt lifted his head to reply, but the words died on his lips as his eyes adjusted to the darkened room.  The were strange colors dancing on the wall next to his bed, and as he turned his head, he saw that the sky was flashing in a bizarre iridescent pattern that looked almost like… numbers…

Rubbing his eyes and looking again, Matt stifled a gasp as he sat up in bed.  "W-what is that...?"

Looking up at him with solemn blue eyes, TK replied in the same soft voice, "The bad is coming…" 

He tugged at his brother's sleeve, guiding him out of the bed and onto the balcony.  Standing on his toes to better see over the rail, TK pointed to the sky.  "See?  It's coming…"

Shivering slightly, from cold and nerves, Matt rubbed his arms and craned his neck to get a better view of the strange phenomenon.  Looking back down at his brother, he asked, "What's bad?  What's coming?"

TK shook his head, his strangely bright eyes locked on the sky.  "It's… dark…" His eyes flickered, and the boy shivered.  He spoke again; this time his voice was soft and deep.  "It's not supposed to be here…"

Matt started, grabbing TK by the shoulders and looking deep into his eyes.  "What's wrong, TK, what is it?"  TK looked at his brother, his eyes suddenly searching, probing deep into the older boy.  When he spoke, it was again in the strange adult voice, which sounded like TK, but …not. 

"We're not ready…it's not time yet…"

 Matt glanced nervously at the sky, his own instincts screaming at him to do something, anything… and TK was looking at the sky, too, but he didn't look afraid… he looked… almost… angry?  This was officially too weird for Matt, so he made the decision that any other six-year-old would have in his position.  

Turning away from the strange sky, he said, "I'm going to get Mom and Dad… Come on, TK—"

But TK refused to budge, grabbing Matt's sleeve to keep him there.  "No, Yamato, they won't see it."

Yamato?!? 

TK never used Matt's full name, at least, not that Matt could remember.  It wasn't any stranger than anything else that had been happening, though.  Deep down, Matt knew that his brother was right, that their parents wouldn't be able to see what was occurring.  On the same level, he knew it was vitally important that he see it, but he didn't know why.

He looked again at the sky.  "What should we do, TK?" he asked, since TK seemed to have all the answers.  "I think—"

But he was cut off by the calm, low voice of his brother.  "Shhh… just watch…" Squirming out from his brother's grip, TK ducked back into the bedroom, returning momentarily with a pair of binoculars.  Handing them to Matt, he gestured to the city streets sprawling out beneath them.  "Look… go on, look!"

Matt obediently scanned the city, "What am I looking for…" he trailed off as he saw what appeared to be an orange dinosaur come around a corner, being ridden by a small girl in her pajamas.  Furiously adjusting the focus of the binoculars, he looked again.  Yes, it was indeed an orange dinosaur being ridden by a girl around TK's age, who was adorned in her footsie pajamas.  Feeling an odd sense of recognition flow over him, he murmured, "There it is…"

"Is that the bad thing you mean, TK?" he asked, handing the binoculars to his brother so he could look.  TK stretched up on his toes and looked out over the railing, his small hands fumbling slightly as he tried to focus the adult-size binoculars.  The image slowly came into focus, the orange blur resolving into a dinosaur like creature with something small and white on its back.  Focusing just a bit more, TK gasped as the white object resolved into a girl. 

He knew her.  

No… shifting slightly on the railing, TK corrected himself.  He didn't really know her… but he recognized her.  The same way he had known that something was going to happen tonight.  The older part of him, the part that had been telling him what to say to Matt, that part of him knew her.

TK jumped as Matt spoke again.  "Is that the bad thing?  TK?" Slowly lowering the binoculars, he shook his head.  _She_ wouldn't be with the dark.

"No…" he picked up the binoculars, and focused again on the girl.  Both she and the creature were looking at the sky… she looked worried.  TK dropped the lenses, looking up at the sky as well.  Something large and round was being formed by the numeric patterns.  It looked like an egg…

The bad feeling that had been nagging him all day increased, breaking over him with a wave of nausea.  He recognized this as well, but unlike the girl, this was far from a good thing.  He turned away from the sight, the older consciousness that had been driving his actions falling silent within him, and buried his face in his brother's shirt.

Matt automatically wrapped his arms around him, hugging him slightly as he stared at the giant egg forming in the atmosphere.  He could feel TK trembling slightly in his embrace.  The terror that the younger boy was feeling only increased his own.  The giant egg cracked open to reveal the largest, ugliest parrot Matt had ever seen.  Gazing at its beady black eyes, the blond knew without a shadow of a doubt that _this_ was the dark thing that TK had felt coming.  Pulling his little brother closer, he began to back away from the menacing thing when a tremendous flash of orange light caught his eye.  Grabbing the binoculars, he saw that the orange creature had more than tripled its size, and a brown haired boy around his age had joined the girl beneath the colossus.  

TK turned and gazed down at the scene below, and the brothers remained silent as the creatures, with a thunderous roar, began to battle.  Debris flew through the air, raining down on buildings and cars in a storm of destruction.  However, just as TK had predicted, not a single adult seemed to notice the clamor.  

The brothers watched the battle until it ended with both creatures disappearing and the sky returning to its normal colors.  Almost as soon as the creatures disappeared, TK began to droop, the 'older self' that had been sustaining him up until that point fading into his subconscious as the creatures faded into space.  The child relaxed into his brother's lap, his eyes already sliding shut.

Matt gazed up at the icy white stars for a moment longer before half-dragging, half-carrying his brother back to bed.  As he tucked TK in, the younger boy's eyes fluttered open, focusing blearily on him.  

Whimpering slightly, TK sighed, "I don't wanna, Matt…"

Smoothing the golden bangs back from his brother's forehead, Matt asked, "Don't want to what, TK?"

TK's eyes slid shut as the boy fell into slumber.  "Don't wanna fight…  please don't make me…"


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer:  Of course I don't own it… I don't even know what happens in the canon story… sheesh…

AN:  Thanks to all who reviewed, especially to those who helped out with my questions.  Umm… as to TK being out of character… you're probably right, but heavens, I certainly can't tell… I'm sort of developing the characters as I go from before the canon begins, and believe me, they will get very out of character.  The lives they lead will be very different than the show, if I'm doing this right.  But I really do need comments like that, to help me be more critical of my own writing, so please keep up the reviews.

Also, as to the names of their parents… I believe Tai's mom is named something like Lily, and the rest I'm just making up.  Please ignore the fact that the parents have rather English names and the kids have Japanese names… I'm pretty much flying by the seat of my pants here.

Besides, what's in a name, anyway?

The Road Not Taken

Chapter Two

_It was a night of early spring,_

_The winter sleep was scarcely broken;_

_Around us shadows and the wind_

_Listened for what was never spoken._

_Though half a score of years are gone,_

_Spring comes as sharply now as then—_

_But if we had it all to do_

_It would be done the same again._

_It was a spring that never came;_

_But we have lived enough to know_

_That what we never have, remains;_

_It is the things we have that go._

_                                                "Wisdom"_

            _                                                Sarah Teasdale_

For a brief moment, the gate had been open.

The Darkness stirred, watching, as the Parrotmon it had sent into the world was defeated.  The Chosen children had been visible, for a moment.  The forces of Light were rising again… 

The collective consciousness of the Darkness rippled in fury.  The Light could not be allowed to triumph again… if only they could solidify their hold on the Digital World before the children came of age.  The Child of Light was already weakening, as the darkness crept over the Digital World, her health would begin to fail.  Her resistance was strong, but it would topple eventually, without reinforcement.  The Power of Light was simply not designed to physically defend its bearer… it was supposed to maintain the Light of the Digital World… it couldn't keep doing both for much longer.  She would fall… in the end.

Was it enough?

Gennai and the Guardians were formidable opponents… no doubt their plans were well made.  Light might be ailing, but if Hope intervened, he could sustain her, or possibly even function in her place.  

Perhaps… 

What if Hope was removed from the equation?  They could not kill him; his Crest would almost certainly prevent that… but what if he were to… disappear?

Light would be beyond help… and without Light _and_ Hope, the rest of the Crests would be scattered and divided.

And powerless.

The idea had promise…

Nancy looked from one son to the other, an expression of puzzlement flitting over her features.  Matt was dozing off over his eggs, and TK was blatantly asleep, his head barely missing his little bowl of Cheerios.  Surely she would have heard them if they were up last night, she thought to herself as Matt continued to nod off.  What on earth had those two been up to?

Malcolm whistled jauntily as he entered the sunny kitchen, attempting to straighten his tie as he walked.  It was a beautiful, golden Sunday morning, and the cheery weather was fueling his mood.  His tune cut short as he noticed his two somnolent sons, practically napping in their breakfasts.  

"Whoah," he chuckled, grabbing some bacon from the platter as Nancy slapped his hand away.  

"Plate, heathen!  Were you raised in a barn?" she laughed, handing him a cup of coffee.  He sipped it gratefully.  

Swallowing, he gestured at his sons.  "What were those two up to last night?"  

Nancy shrugged, absently straightening her husband's wayward tie.  "I was just thinking the same thing, myself—wait, where are you going in a tie?"  She asked, a note of accusation finding its way into her voice.  

"It's _Sunday."_  The harried mother added, narrowing her eyes.  

Malcolm had the grace to look abashed.  "Well, people do watch TV on Sundays, dear…" Seeing that her expression did not change, his tone shifted to one of defiance.  Hell, he was going to work to support her!  What was she complaining about?  Setting his mug down so hard its dark contents sloshed over his hand and the white countertop, he faced her levelly.  Her gaze was coolly condemning, and seeing it, he realized where Matt had inherited the icy disdain that formed the bulwark of his emotional defenses.  

Not, he reflected, that his six-year-old should even have emotional defenses at his age.  So maybe their family engaged in a little emotional warfare.  What family didn't?  Besides, that was back in the old days, before TK was born.  Almost against his will, his dark eyes shifted from his icily irate wife to his youngest son, whose golden head was buried on tiny arms.  Nancy's bright eyes followed his gaze, almost softening before narrowing further.

She frowned fiercely, refusing to be swayed by the sight of her small son, refusing to be swayed by the thought of what a renewal of tensions might do to his innocent spirit.  Of course, Matt's innocent spirit hadn't stopped her from calling her husband unspeakable things… but she couldn't picture TK jaded and cool, as Matt had been rendered by the acts of ice and fire that had been played out before his impressionable young eyes.  They had committed acts of terrible spite… the distance between love and cruelty was so minute, the lines so blurred with too many bitter tears, as their marriage had collapsed between swiftly crumbling palaces of passion and slowly ascending walls of indifference.  Nancy's eyes flicked from her young sons to her husband as she wondered whether the two bright souls alone were worth bailing out a sinking ship with her bare hands.   

As if sensing the swiftly mounting tension in the room, TK stirred, his sleepy murmur rousing Matt from his sleep-deprived stupor as well.  Two pairs of blue eyes, one set narrow and frosty, the other set wide and deep, each registered the tableau before them… and a small voice spoke through the steel forged silence. 

"Have fun at work Daddy!"  

The voice was cheerfully ordinary and nonchalant.

It was _chipper._

It was TK.

Three pairs of extraordinarily surprised eyes, each long used to witnessing such battles—although this fight had barely begun by Ishida standards—looked that the voice's owner in shock.  Matt was especially impressed by his brother's nerve… and innocence, if it could be called that.  _Perhaps_, Matt thought, _it's more of a total lack of guile_.  As his parents gaped, he began to grin broadly, looking more his age than he had in a very long time. 

However, no one in the little family was more surprised at the outburst than TK himself.  He hadn't intended to say anything… but the place inside him, the warm, golden place that was older than the rest of him, had chosen that tense moment to wake up.  TK was hard pressed to explain the light inside him… it was just there, telling him what people were feeling or what to say in hard situations like this one. It also had an annoying habit of being really, really noisy when he wanted to be naughty and not letting him do the fun things Matt seemed to get away with.  Matt said that it was his conscience, whatever that was, and that everyone had one.  But his was so _loud._  

And then there was last night.

TK shuddered slightly, not really wanting to remember the battles he had seen.  The voice had been loud and insistent all through the day before, its tone becoming more and more adamant as the day went on.  As night fell, it began to grow desperate… but TK hadn't known how to make his family understand what he knew was coming.  He was just too little, and he was more scared by what he knew than anything else… he just wanted to run and hide, but it simply wouldn't let him.  He had tried everything from tears to reasoning, but his parents had been patronizing and tucked him to bed with whispered platitudes and a nightlight.  _A nightlight!_  So he had crawled out of bed and gone to the window, watching and waiting to see what would happen.  Then the colors came… and in terror, he had done something he had never done before.

He had reached for it.

Always, previously, the deep light inside of him had operated of its own accord, coming and going as it willed, and he had generally acquiesced to whatever commands it made.  But this time, even as the voice of the light was screaming in his spirit, as the unnatural numeric luminescence spread across the night like a dangerous infection—this time, he had reached for the profound brightness, pulling it towards him like a security blanket, a shield that could never fall.  The light had welled up from where it slept in his soul, stronger than he had ever felt it before… and it joined with him, the sure, steady thread of memories and thoughts sweeping him up like a dazzling river.

But after the light had gone, it had left him exhausted, confused, and terrified of the presence inside him.  As he looked at his astonished family and silently regretted his outburst, he realized his actions of the previous night had a further consequence.

The light inside him was very awake… and very powerful.

_More powerful than the rest of me?_

TK simply didn't know.

Nancy brought her eyes away from her startling son and back to her husband, who smiled somewhat sheepishly.  She stood silent for an indeterminable moment, before sighing in a tacit symbol of defeat.  "Yes, _dear,_ have a _nice_ day at work.  I'm taking the boys to the park this afternoon, so dinner will be late."

She turned away from him, beginning to drop dishes into the sink with only slightly more force than was strictly necessary.  "Don't feel you have to hurry home on _our _account."  Gripping the edge of the sink until her knuckles turned white, she smiled tightly over her shoulder at him.

Malcolm, painfully aware of his sons' eyes on him, moved stiffly to her side and kissed her mechanically.  "Have a nice day, dear…" he glanced at the tiny, unraveling family pointedly before adding, "I'll be home early."

His eyes and his words were clear:  _This is not my fault._  

Malcolm left the sunny and cold kitchen, walking tall under the accusing eyes of his wife and the beseeching eyes of his children.  He repeated the mantra to himself all the way to work.

_This is not my fault.  I am not to blame.  I won't feel guilty._

Taichi Kamiya had spent the morning in an extended state of relief.  After the trail of destruction he, Hikari, and Greymon had left across Odaiba the night before, he was sure he was going to be grounded until college.  But his mother, after wandering dazedly through the apartment surveying the damage, had finally concluded that Tai and Kari alone simply weren't physically capable of that level of devastation.  When the news wrote the damage in the city off as the result of a low scale earthquake, she accepted that explanation.  

So Tai and Kari escaped all of the blame, much to both of their relief.  Tai looked over at his sister, who was quietly amusing herself by attempting to tie her shoelaces.  Her expression was completely childlike… and completely unlike the wise, perceptive face she had worn all through the Greymon escapade of the day before.  Tai almost shuddered as he remembered her last words to him before she crumpled to sleep on the sidewalk, spoken in a tone too old for her naïve face.

"Don't worry, Taichi, you'll see him again…" 

All of that seemed in the past, though, as she sat on the floor in a patch of summer light, diligently trying to get her tiny fingers to correctly manipulate the laces.  Her little lips were moving as she did so, and he crept closer to hear what she was saying.

"And then the bunny goes around the tree…and… and through the hole…!  Darn it! …Okay…make an X… tuck it un…der… …"

Kari's chestnut eyes were all but crossed as she glared at the offending laces.  She stuck out her tongue and began again, apparently not noticing her brother standing directly behind her.  Tai watched her for a moment longer as an evil plan began to form in his mind.  Smirking to himself, he bent down until his mouth was directly behind her ear.  Taking a deep breath, he prepared to yell…

"Don't even think about it, Tai." Kari muttered, not looking up from her laces.

Kari smirked as Tai's mouth shut with a snap, a bemused expression crossing his face.  His bemusement quickly turned to chagrin when he heard his mother clear her throat behind him.  

"You aren't picking on your sister again, are you Tai?" Lily Kamiya asked in a tone that said the answer had better be 'no' if Tai knew what was good for him.  He gulped and turned to face her, summoning up his best and most serviceable expression of innocence.

"Well—er, you see…" he fumbled, looking anything but blameless as he flushed guiltily.  

Kari sighed slightly behind him, amused at her brother's obvious lack of finesse.  She was almost tempted to let him sweat it out, but her conscience got the better of her, as it usually did, and she turned quickly.  Surveying the scene, with her mother growing more and more exasperated, and Tai's disclaimer getting more and more incriminating, she opted to stage a distraction before he confessed to something they'd both regret.

Pitching her voice into its most endearing tone, she smiled brightly at Lily.  "Look, Mommy, I tied them all by myself!" she said, pointing proudly at her shoes.  Lily glanced at her daughter and a broad smile broke over her features, dispelling her aggravation.  

"Wow, honey, and you're just three years old, too!  I'm so proud of you!  Let's go in the kitchen and I'll make you and Tai a special breakfast as a reward, okay?" she said, picking her small daughter up and carrying her towards the kitchen, examining the newly tied shoes as they went.  "Wow… this is such a good job, too…"

Tai watched them go, wonder creeping over his face.  Shaking his head, he muttered, "HOW does she DO that?"  He had to admit, though Kari could often get him into trouble, he had to admire her methods.  When it came to getting her way with their parents, she was nothing short of a professional.  It was rather inspiring, really.  

Following his mother and sister, Tai's train of thought was dispelled as the smell of whole-wheat sugar-free pancakes and tofu sausage began to waft out of the kitchen.  He groaned quietly, promising himself a he'd buy a popsicle at the park later with the change he'd found under the bed yesterday… he certainly wasn't going to be eating much of breakfast, that was for sure.

_Nature's first green is gold,_

_Her hardest hue to hold._

_Her early leafs a flower;_

_But only so an hour._

_Then leaf subsides to leaf._

_So Eden sank to grief,_

_So dawn goes down to day._

_Nothing gold can stay._

_                                    "Nothing Gold Can Stay"_

                                                Robert Frost 

Matt sighed as he sat on the swing, scuffing his already dirty sneakers into the well-worn swathe of dust beneath him.  The bright sunlight was glaring down on the Odaiba park, not really affecting any of the children but sending the vigilant mothers and fathers into the shelter of the deep emerald shade of the trees planted by the sidewalk.  The kids ran and shouted despite the heat, to the apparent chagrin of their parents who, by the looks on their faces, were already anticipating various ailments ranging from heatstroke to sunburn.  His mom had been talking furiously into her cell-phone all morning… first to Grandma, during which conversation she had cried twice, and then to her editor, attempting to take over someone's column when they went on extended leave.  She had brought them to the park and then waved them off to play, instructing Matt too keep an eye on TK.

Matt sighed with exasperation at the very thought that he would have to be reminded to do something he was always doing anyway.  Glancing around, he saw his mother standing with several other women in the shade, still firmly attached to her cellular phone.  

Some things never changed.  He had hoped that their family would finally be whole again when TK was born, but it seemed the brief respite had only been a temporary détente in the span of a much larger war.  On top of all that, he also had last night to worry about.

Matt wasn't really sure what had happened last night… but he had a terrible feeling about it.  Somehow… it made him get that feeling he got when TK needed him, which he had always been able to sense.  It had started when TK was a baby… when he had first come home from the hospital.  

Matt remembered that day clearly and fondly, despite how young he had been at the time.  When he had seen TK at the hospital, a strange feeling had washed over him, warming him straight through from the top of his head to his toes.  Something bright had awoken inside him that day, something that he had pushed down and forgotten in the midst of the small wars his parents had been waging. 

That light inside him seemed, among other things, bent on protecting TK.  It certainly didn't seem to do much else.

The day TK had come home, the atmosphere of the house had changed completely.  The family seemed much happier and no one seemed to get angry at the little things anymore, and Matt finally felt like he had a place in this new family.  An important place… and it was ironic, because he had been so afraid that the baby would take his position in the family, but really, TK had helped him find his niche.  

And after TK came, it was a much nicer family to have a place in.

Matt looked around the park, watching the other kids play, instinctively looking for TK.  There was a brown haired girl chasing a boy in goggles screaming something about puking in a hat, another little girl, the boy's sister, he thought, eating the popsicle he'd seen the boy buy earlier… she was looking rather ill, actually.  She was sitting in the sandbox, looking rather pale and washed out in the harsh light.  Near her was a girl with the largest, pinkest bow in her hair that he'd ever seen, who was giggling wildly with another girl… a boy with book… some soccer players… 

Where was TK?

TK's green hat, his fashion statement of choice, normally alarmingly easy to spot, was nowhere to be seen.  Matt's stood up from the swing, his 'brother' sense going from its low rumble of danger that it been stuck on since the evening before swinging into full alarm.  Something was very wrong.  TK never wandered far from Matt… and he certainly had better instinct than to go anywhere with a stranger.

Matt began wandering the park… it was brimming with children of all sizes and description, but TK was nowhere to be seen.  Ice blue eyes began to brim with tears as the young boy began to panic.

He couldn't have failed TK… he couldn't have!

Nancy sighed in annoyance as Matt tugged at her skirt.  Smoothing the wrinkled fabric, she frowned at him disapprovingly, placing her hand over the phone as she addressed him.  

"Not now, Matt, Mommy is working.  Go play."  She didn't seem to see his tearful face.

He tugged again, the tears spilling down his grungy cheeks.  The other mothers were giving Nancy extremely disapproving looks, which only annoyed the woman further.

"Not _now,_ Yamato!"  She ground out, smiling thinly at the other mothers.

But Matt was beyond taking 'no' for an answer.  "But Mommy, TK is GONE."

Nancy's head snapped around, her eyes going from her son to the crowded playground with lightening speed.  Panic widened the blue orbs that scanned the children desperately, seeking a flash of green or gold that would pinpoint her precious youngest.

The cellular phone all but shattered as it hit the ground.


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer:  Don't own… not a thing… so suing would be a mere academic exercise and nothing more. 

AN:  Okay… I know this fic is rather long in the set-up… not a lot of action yet… but I think action is better when you have a lot of background and really believe the circumstances… but it's coming soon… they'll be a couple of big time jumps in the next few chapters.  

Thanks for all the reviews… Sora's hair is red?  Now I know, thanks for the heads up!  Thanks for all the reviews, they've been very constructive… please keep it up!

The Road Not Taken 

Chapter Three

Oh, they have robbed me of the Hope 

_My spirit held so dear;_

_They will not let me hear that voice_

_My soul delights to hear._

_They will not let me see that face_

_I so delight to see;_

_And they have taken all thy smiles,_

_And all thy love from me._

_                                    "Oh, They Have Robbed me of the Hope"_

_                                                            Anne Bronte_

Officer Mark Hashiba had children of his own, his youngest around Takeru Ishida's age.  Scenes like this made his blood run cold, like his veins were filled with ice water.  He'd sent the mother and the older son home with two patrolmen, saying they should wait by the phone for a ransom call.  The father had arrived earlier that afternoon, and after a tense discussion, he and his wife had decided on a picture for the 'missing child' posters.  After watching the strained family, he almost considered that the poor kid had run away.  Hashiba certainly would have run away from that family, but not a three-year-old, a kid like that wouldn't have.  Three-year-olds rarely wander off, and if he were just lost, they would have found him by now.

No, Hashiba had been a cop for six years, and a detective for almost as long.  As he watched the blue veil of evening fall over his crime scene, he knew he was watching his hope of finding this kid fall with it.  His sergeant came over to him, handing him a cup of coffee sympathetically.  The older officer stood silent for a long moment, surveying the scene, a knowing look in his dark eyes.

"What did you tell the family, Hashiba?" he asked, looking the detective levelly in the eyes.  

Hashiba sighed, tossing back the last of his coffee, and almost wishing it were spiked with something other than half-and-half.  The young detective could have used a stiff drink right then.  He couldn't stop picturing his own kids… "I told them that the rate of kidnapping in Odaiba is extremely low, and that their son had probably wandered off and our sweeps would almost certainly pick him up."

His sergeant nodded approvingly, all of what Hashiba had said was true.  However, one of the first things you learn as a cop is this:  Some things are _true, _but there is no _truth._  So he looked at his detective again, noting the anguish in the younger man's eyes.  Hashiba was young to be a detective, but he was a good, honest, sensitive cop, which was becoming hard to find these days.  He hated to ask, but he had to know.

"Tell me what you really think."

Hashiba was silent for a long moment, watching the officers and concerned citizens combing the streets around him, the crime scene he and other detectives had already scrutinized for any kind of clue.  Then, his voice devoid of emotion, he answered his commanding officer.

"You and I are ordinary men, sir.  We deal in facts, we know kids don't just disappear, that _no one_ just disappears.  But I'm telling you, if anyone could disappear, this kid has done it.  There's not a clue here—no one saw anything.  We have _nothing_ to work with.  This boy is gone… we're never going to find him."

Hashiba looked at his sergeant, who was nodding solemnly, trusting his detective's professional opinion implicitly.  Hashiba cleared his throat awkwardly and asked, "Are you going to tell the family there's no hope, sir?"

The sergeant looked at the gloomy scene, a deep disgust for his fellow man that could abduct a child sweeping through him, and shook his head.

"No…" the sergeant looked around into the growing darkness, "Hope is all they have left now, isn't it?"

Hashiba grunted at that, tossing his cup into a garbage can.  "YOU can tell them that.  I'm going home to my kids."

Kari Kamiya had not said a word when her mother had swept her out of the sandbox in a near panic, all but dragging her and Taichi home.  Kari had seemed in a daze, and had clung absently to her mother.  While Tai had babbled questions at his mother in a highly annoyed voice, wanting to stay and watch the police working, Lily had been totally deaf to her son's inquiries and her daughter's silence alike.  

Although it made her feel nauseatingly guilty, Lily could not help but thank any and all the powers that be that both her children were safe.  Any child at the park today could have been taken; her babies could have vanished.  She couldn't focus; her thoughts were jumbled, bouncing from terror to relief to guilt, making her breath come raggedly.  As she waited for her rice to cook, she stared blankly out the kitchen window, seeing her haggard face slowly begin to reflect back at her as night fell.  The darkness was repeatedly shattered by the piercing red and blue of police cars speeding past, combing the city for some other mother's child.  Watching the lights travel through the growing gloom, she found that was all she could think.  Some other mother's child… not Taichi… not Hikari…

Thank God…someone else's baby… 

"Mom…?  Mom!"  

She whirled, tearing her eyes from the hypnotic scarlet and azure drama playing itself out through the city below her protected perch.  Tai stood behind her, worry plain in his dark eyes.  She allowed herself to take him in detail by detail, knowing that her sleep that night would be plagued with nightmares that he and Kari were missing, and she would probably end up staring into their room at their safely sleeping forms all night.  His brown hair was as messy as ever, sticking up everywhere no matter how she cut it, and his overalls were rumpled and stained from rolling all over the ground as he played soccer.  She smiled softly, wishing she could keep her brave, stubborn little Taichi that way forever, small and tugging on her skirt.

"Yes, honey?"  Her voice was soft, and she stroked his hair protectively.

He shook his head, making a face at her sentimentality.  He certainly didn't want his mother to turn into some sappy, cootie-infected _girl_ all of a sudden.  He pointed at the stove, where the rice was being to smoke.  "Dinner is burning, Mom.  Does that mean we don't have to eat it?"

Lily ignored the hopeful tone the last question was delivered in, turning to the stove with a barely smothered curse.  She grabbed the pot and dunked it into the sink, coughing as she breathed in the smoke and steam.  As the clouds cleared, she sighed, looking at the black mass her dinner had become.  Experimentally, she flipped the pot upside down, shaking it vigorously.  The mass didn't even quiver.  She glanced at Tai's hopeful face, and at Kari, who had appeared behind him, and smiled mischievously at the two.

Lily took the pot to the garbage can, and popping the lid of the canister, she dropped the ruined pot into it with a loud clang.  Grinning at her shocked children, she grabbed the phonebook off the shelf.

"How about pizza?"

Two sets of warm brown eyes watched her in silent amazement for a long moment, before Tai grinned hugely.  "YES!  Alright, PIZZA!"  Shouting gleefully, he bounced into the living room, celebrating.  Kari rolled her eyes, smiling at her mother.  

Lily scooped her daughter up, setting her on the counter as she reached for the phone.  Pausing, she let the phonebook drop open on the metallic surface and placed her hand on her Kari's forehead.  It felt warm… too warm.  She smoothed the wispy silken bangs back and felt again.

"You have a fever, honey… are you feeling okay?"  She looked her daughter up and down critically, lifting her shirt slightly to check for any kind of measles or pox.  Kari just shrugged, her little face only slightly pale.

Lily felt her daughter's head again, muttering to herself, "Maybe I should just make you some soup…"

Kari gasped, color springing back into her face.  "NO, Mommy!  Pizza!" she said, pulling the phonebook towards her.  "You said _pizza!"_

Lily laughed, obediently turning the pages of the proffered book.  "You can't be that sick if your hungry.  Hmmm… how about anchovies…?"

Kari's bright eyes squinted as she grimaced with distaste.  "Icky!  Extra cheese, Mommy!"

"No!  Pepperoni, Mom!"  Tai had returned to the kitchen, and was standing on his toes to see up onto the counter.

"Cheese, Mommy!"

"Shut up, Kari! Pepperoni!"

"Stupid Tai!  Cheese!!"

Lily sighed, rubbing her temples to dispel the migraine growing there.  "How about half pepperoni, half extra cheese?" she reasoned, cutting the argument off before things got out of hand.  _Yes_, she thought wryly to herself, _mother, chef, and diplomat extraordinaire… how do I find the time?_

Matt lay awake in his bed, listening to his mother's heels click up and down the hardwood hallway in an uneven, broken rhythm.  When she passed his door he could see the streaks of her makeup down her face, her mascara leaving black trails of grief and worry down her chalk pale cheeks.  No matter how many times she passed, she never saw him waiting, awake in the deathly quiet hours of the morning.  He had already soaked his pillow until he could no longer cry, and had sobbed dryly for hours after that.  Now, except for the faulty beat of his mother's shoes, all was silent.

Without having to see it, he knew his father was sitting outside the front door, smoking, staring out into the night as if by wishing alone he could pull his youngest from the darkness.  As if, with vigilance now, he could make up for the laxity of the past.  Matt rolled over, facing into the dim room, sighing huffily.

He hated them both.

Nancy halted, finally, her feet all but giving out from under her around five thirty.  She sat down across the kitchen table from her distant husband, staring down at the cluttered surface, trying to make sense of the chaos in her life.  She looked up at him, searching his eyes frightfully, needing reassurance and help, desperately craving his support, but fearing the blame she knew he was holding in.  

"Why, Malcolm?  Why haven't they called yet?  Why haven't they found him?"  She tried to cross the expanse between them. 

Malcolm looked at her from deep behind his eyes, as though he were not only far from her but also far from himself, his thoughts somewhere where he imagined his beloved youngest son was waiting for him.  "I don't know, Nancy.  They're doing their best… we just have to be patient…"

Nancy gasped, glaring at him.  "Patient?  I can't be patient!  I'm his mother!  He must be so afraid, and he's alone and he needs me and I lost hi—" she choked off abruptly, her eyes falling swiftly with her voice.

There was a moment of silence as the question hung over them like a shadow of impending doom.  Malcolm knew it wasn't the time, he knew he shouldn't ask her.  He knew that some things were beyond their control, he kept telling himself that no one was to blame.  TK was going to be found, and when he was, Malcolm wanted him to have a happy family to come home to.  

He wasn't going to ask.

But he didn't have to ask or not ask… her eyes were confessing to him, begging for his forgiveness. _ I wasn't watching him…why didn't I glance up?  I thought we were safe…why was I so stupid?  _But neither of them could say the words…

They both jumped when the doorbell rang, and they were out of their chairs and to the door so quickly that, later, neither would remember how they got there, only that the door was open and there was a police officer there, and he was alone, and there was no child in his arms.  

Officer Hashiba took off his hat respectfully, clearing his throat.  He met their eyes, his expression professionally devoid of feeling.  Nancy made a strange sound between a yelp and a sob, clinging to the doorframe—and not to her husband—for support.

Hashiba spoke softly, not wanting to wake the older brother he was sure must be sleeping somewhere nearby.  "Mr. and Mrs. Ishida… I—I'm sorry, there's no news yet.  If I could come in, we need to discuss what's going to be happening from here… you need to have an idea of the real odds of finding your son."  

Nancy was silent, her voice lost as she tried to grasp the words that had been spoken.  She looked helplessly at Malcolm, too exhausted to indulge in the screaming in her soul.  Malcolm shoved his grief away, motioning the officer in.  The detective, however, remained frozen in the doorway, staring at something behind them.  

Turning, the broken couple stared in shock at their oldest son, his pajamas rumpled and his eyes red from tears and sleeplessness, but a painfully hopeful expression painted on his face.  Looking at Hashiba, he said in a terrible, heart wrenchingly young voice, "Did you find him yet?"

The silence was excruciating.

_Pain has an element of blank;_

_It cannot recollect _

_When it began, or if there were_

_A day when it was not._

_It has no future but itself,_

_Its infinite realms contain_

_Its past, enlightened to perceive_

_New periods of pain._

_                                    "Pain Has an Element of Blank"_

_                                                            Emily Dickinson_

Matt sat on the hard plastic chair, glaring lazily into the fluorescent lighting of the hospital waiting room.  Almost six months had passed since TK had disappeared, and it was now December.  The hospital was decorated in an annoyingly cheerful manner, merry red and green lights strung up everywhere, even down here…

In the morgue.

His parents had been called down to look at a body that might be TK… another cadaver in a long line of potential TK's.  None of them had been him, and Matt was beginning to wonder exactly how many blond, three-year-old bodies were found in Tokyo every year.  There had been two this month alone… Matt humphed, it was practically a child killing epidemic.  But he couldn't give less of a damn about the other kids; the only blond kid he worried about was TK.

This body, he kept telling himself, this body is not TK.  He would know if TK was dead.  He would know.

Glancing out the window, he could see snow beginning to fall, drifting down in the soft purple dusk of the winter night.  Matt's eyes almost welled up with moisture before he choked the emotion back, brutally denying himself the weakness of tears.  Despite his best efforts, though, his icy blue eyes began to shine with half a year's worth of suppressed misery.

TK had loved the snow… especially at Christmastime.  Looking silently out the large industrial window. Matt wondered if TK could see the snow, wherever he was.  He hoped he could.

Sniffling harshly, totally disgusted with himself, Matt left his prayers and his uncomfortable seat behind and wandered out towards the general waiting area.  He stalked the quiet halls in solitude, no one stopping him or questioning his presence.  The majority of the hospital staff knew him from his prior visits to the morgue, as his parents always brought him along and never failed to make a scene by fighting in the hallways, waiting rooms, and elevators.  Nearly all of the nurses had a great deal of pity for him, but he had successfully put off their attempts at comfort with a bad attitude.  Most of their efforts had been superficial at best, anyway, and with the state of his parents' former marriage, Matt was well used to suffering alone.

Wandering a few moments longer, Matt stopped at the waiting area adjacent to the Intensive Care Unit, looking in at a scene he was familiar with.  Seated on the couches within, a small family was huddled together for warmth and comfort through the long hours of waiting.  Their daughter, Matt knew, had been very ill for the last few months, and had been in this unit several times when Matt had been here.  

The young boy he recognized from school… Tai Kamiya was in his grade level but in a different class.  The dark haired boy was asleep with his head in his mother's lap, with his father's coat draped over him like a blanket and his mother's hand stroking his hair gently.  The mother, a young but weary looking brunette, was wrapped in her husband's arms, her head tucked under his chin.  She was dozing slightly, her red-rimmed eyes unfocused.  The husband was awake, his eyes alert as though protecting what he could of his family while praying for his daughter, whose fate was out of his hands.  

This family was not destroyed by pain and fear, but unified by it.  When something bad happened, they faced it together, without blame or anger, but with compassion and strength.  Matt sighed jealously.

Why did he have to be alone?  Where was the justice, the fairness?  All the members of Tai's family seemed to know how much they meant to each other… in his own family, Matt felt as though he was the only one left with any love to give, and all that love was for TK… wherever he was.  

Hearing voices raised in anger, he turned to watch his parents storming down the hall towards him.  His mother was looking particularly furious, her voice low but not low enough as she berated her husband.

"I keep telling you, I don't know what happened…"

"Weren't you watching him?"  Malcolm demanded, the familiar fight playing over again before the bemused eyes of Matt and the horrified eyes of the now fully awake Kamiyas.  His parents didn't notice the audience, but poor Matt found himself again the mortified third wheel playing out their lives to complete strangers.

"Yes, I was!  It's not _my_ fault—" Nancy growled, clenching her fists until the her nails cut into her palms.  Matt surmised from the angry and not grief laden scene that the body had not been TK.

Malcolm shot back, his eyes narrowed to slits, "IF you were watching him, then why don't you know what happened?"

Nancy unclenched her fists nervously, her eyes dropping.  The eyes of the Kamiyas, which had been flicking back and forth between the combatants as though they were watching a tennis match, focused on her.  Under the pressure of so many gazes, Nancy felt unable to cope, to breath… 

"I—I told Yamato to wa—"

SLAP!

Except for the appalled gasp of Lily Kamiya, the corridor was silent.  Even Yamato was surprised when Malcolm's hand swiftly connected with his wife's face.  

Malcolm voice was deadly calm, belying the fury twisting his features, "Do not ever, EVER, even think of blaming Matt for our mistakes… If I ever hear from him you have, if he even _begins _to believe it, I swear to God, I'll kill you."  Then, lowering his hand, he continued, "I—I'm sorry I had to hit you…"

Malcolm then took Matt's hand and led him away, never more thankful that he had been granted custody of his remaining son in the divorce settlement.  Matt looked over his shoulder at the frozen scene he was being dragged away from, his mother's hand still clutching the side of her face.  He tore his eyes away from her and met another pair of eyes… Tai's.  The young face was filled with pity as the other boy clung to his mother's hand.  

Pity.

Matt scowled and turned away.

Kari coughed weakly, disturbed by the tension in the hallway outside her room.  She shifted in the bed, unable to roll over on her side, as she preferred to sleep, because of the oxygen mask strapped to her face.  Something was wrong out there… but she couldn't even summon the energy to sit up and look.  She didn't even have the energy to care, not anymore.  

Not enough energy for anything, now that she was dying.  

They thought she didn't know… they thought she couldn't hear them whisper.  They hoped she couldn't hear them cry, but she could hear them.  They were sad… but she wasn't, not anymore.  She was very tired… tired of being sick, tired of being a burden.  She was tired of doctors and tears, tired of sitting in waiting rooms for hours and hours, tired of needles and x-rays.  Kari was ready to sleep.

Sighing deeply, Kari allowed herself to slip into the fathomless darkness that had been calling for the last six months.

_How could you leave me standing?_

_Alone in a world that's so cold…_

_Maybe I'm just too demanding, _

_Maybe I'm just like my father, too…_

_Oh, maybe I'm just like my mother…_

_She's never satisfied…_

_Why do we scream at each other?_

_This is what it sounds like…_

_When doves cry…_

_                                                            "When Doves Cry"_

                                                                        Prince 

Sister Augustine inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the winds that blew down from the mountains and up from the sea.  The Aurora Borealis streaked across the night sky, tinting the snow-covered world around her in fantastic, dreamlike colors.  Looking at the rugged peaks, she sighed in content.  This is why she had joined the order… this is what it truly meant to be close to God. 

She had chosen to enter the most remote house her sisterhood maintained, in St. Joseph's, Alaska.  It was cold, yes, much more so than she was used to, but it was also clean and natural.  She had had enough of cities, enough of Los Angeles, Washington, New York, and Tokyo, and all the places her wealthy family had chosen to call home.  This wasn't a city… it wasn't even a town… it was just a convent and an outpost… and the few families that lived in the surrounding area.  This is where she had chosen to call home… near to God in body and spirit.  

In the distance, she could hear the faint call of the bells, telling her that Vespers was about to begin, and calling her back to civilization and devotion. She also heard the not so distant cry of a wolf, but she was not afraid as many of her sisters might be.  Sister Augustine knew the wolves would not attack her unless they were extremely hungry, and it had been a mild winter so far.  They were not starving, and so would more than likely leave her in peace.

The howl sounded again, this time very close behind her.  She whirled, her black cloak and habit swirling heavily around her.  She squinted into the darkness, gasping slightly as a shadow slid out of the tree line, approaching her warily, its golden eyes reflecting the illuminated sky.  Despite her belief in the natural gentleness of wolves, Sister Augustine began to pray, whispering the holy words like a shield.  

The deep gray creature stopped short twenty feet from her, and the woman and the wolf regarded each other silently.  The wolf made the first move, putting its ears back and whining slightly, the sound reassuringly dog-like.  Sister Augustine held her ground, calming her breathing and taking a closer look at the graceful creature.

It was clenching something in its teeth… it looked like a leaf… or a bit of green cloth.  If it was cloth… she had to know…

Approaching the wolf, she spread her hands wide open and made herself look as small and defenseless as possible, until she was close enough to hear the deep rhythm of the creature's breathing.  The wolf dropped the object and backed away, its wild amber eyes wary.  Sister Augustine picked it out of the snow, brushing it off gently… it was cloth, a piece of grass green summer-weight cotton… like a piece of a t-shirt.  Grimacing slightly, she raised it to her face and sniffed it… ugh, wolf spit… and something else… something warm… like summer… the cloth smelled like summer in some indefinable way, as though its owner smelled of grass and ocean and sun and rain, like a force of nature rather than a person…

The wolf whined again, catching her attention, and turned back towards the tree line… when she didn't move, it whined and yipped, staring back at her.  

Sister Augustine stared back towards the distant lights of St. Joseph's, and again towards the dark forest.  She had to decide… she'd already missed Vespers at this point, so…

Pulling her cloak closer around herself, she followed the wolf into the forest, attempting to keep an eye on the swift shadow and keep her footing at the same time.  The limbs of trees flashed overhead and the bright sky lit her way through the dense virgin forest.  The wolf stopped in a clearing ahead of her, sniffing at something on the ground.

Sister Augustine rushed forward with a cry when a flash of gold caught her eye, and she reached down to feel still warm skin.

Alive… thank God…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:  I STILL don't own Digimon.  Someday I will watch the series, though.  Someday.

AN:  Here we go!  I should warn you, finals start soon, and after that I'll be home and away from regular computer access, so don't expect much in the way of updates until late January.  I may be able to get one or two more out before I go, though.  

Anyway, reviews always appreciated.  Things are starting to happen in this chapter, so tell me how I'm doing.

_Oh, there are eyes that he can see,_

_And hands that make his hands rejoice,_

_But to my lover I must be,_

_Only a voice._

_Oh, there are breasts that bear his head,_

_And lips whereon his lips can lie,_

_But I must be till I am dead,_

_Only a cry._

_                                    "A Cry"_

_                                    Sarah Teasdale_

A cry broke the darkness surrounding Kari, bathing her in a gentle golden light.

"Don't!" 

The voice was both youthful and mature… and she recognized it.  She _knew _that voice.

But not even for that voice could she turn back from her chosen path.  She was just too tired…

"No!  Keep fighting!  You can't give up… please…"  

The light grew brighter, its warmth becoming almost a physical presence around her.  Her breathing began to ease slightly, although she could still feel weariness like lead flowing in her limbs.

"But I'm so tired… I can't do it anymore… I'm dieing."  She whispered, but it echoed into the presence around her, and the sun tinted presence trembled slightly at her words.

"No… you're not… if you're dieing, than so am I… we need you…I need you…" 

She sighed, feeling the weight of her destiny like the exhaustion that held her so close to the darkness. She knew if she lived it would be a long time before she could sleep again in peace, although she wasn't sure what fears and dangers would disturb her future self.  But she knew the dangers were coming… and she had already fought so much…

"I can't do it anymore… the darkness is too strong… it's hopeless…"

The golden light flared, and the voice rang out, suddenly authoritative rather than pleading.

_"No!  Don't say that… we can get through this together… I'm not letting you give up."_ __

Kari struggled against the imperative in the voice… but the yellow radiance around her had awoken the Light that resided within her, and new strength began to flow through her weary body.  She smiled softly, and the golden ambience around her flickered and brightened in response.

"That's better…" 

Feeling her own Light growing stronger inside her, she realized that she did have the strength within herself to keep fighting, if only for a little while longer.  She smiled again in relief.

"So what happens now?" She asked the presence…a 'him,' she decided suddenly.  Definitely a boy…

The voice came back, suddenly soft and unsure…_ "I don't know…we wait, I guess…"_

"For what?" Kari asked, although she already knew.

"For our time to come…" 

"Sister Augustine, what are we going to do with him?"

The black clad women surrounded the small white bed like a protective wall of accumulated years given completely to faith and devotion.  In the bed, a small boy slept, his freshly washed golden hair falling in loose strands over his eyes.  The sisters had found terrible scars on his wrists and ankles, as though he had been shackled or chained for a long time. There were other scars, as well… and malnourishment… but the child still, despite his condition, seemed strong and relatively healthy.

Sister Augustine sighed.  "I don't know, Sister Hildegard.  We have a home for foundlings…"

The sister beside her snorted delicately, her brown eyes wry.  "Yes, but we've never had a foundling in it before."

Sister Augustine matched the wry smile with one of her own.  "Well, we have one now.  And he's certainly better off here than wherever he was before.  Look at him… where did he come from? … There's no one around here for miles."  

"We will leave the mystery of his origin to the proper authorities for the moment." Said a sudden, level voice from behind the sisters, causing them all to turn instantly.  The Mother Superior, Sister Cecilia, a tall, formidable woman in her mid-fifties stood behind them.  The tattered green T-shirt they had taken from the boy was folded neatly in her smooth, strong hands.

She smiled calmly at her nuns, unfolding the shirt and holding its tag out for them to see.  "Unless I'm much mistaken, some conscientious mother has written this boy's name on his shirt.  You have lived abroad, Sister Augustine, can you read it?"

Taking the shirt with the instant obedience of any nun to her superior, Sister Augustine scrutinized the tag for a long moment, trying to draw back through the years long forgotten lessons in language.  "It—it says 'takeru.'  There's no last name… perhaps it was labeled to keep it separate form a sibling's clothes.  Or perhaps it is the last name… I can't say for sure."

Sister Cecilia nodded, looking over the seven assembled Sisters, the entire population of her devoted world.  Sister Augustine stood nearest, tall and silent, with dark eyes that flashed beneath her black veil.  Behind her stood Sister Hildegard, a professor of Latin and the humanities, her sweet personality shining in her bright cinnamon eyes and in her dark face.  The other sisters were clustered on the far side of the bed; two nurses, like herself, and three more teachers.  They served the families of the rangers and native peoples, providing basic medical care and primary and secondary education.  The mission of their order also charged them to house the poor and orphaned or abandoned, and this child fell into at least one, if not all of those categories.  

The Superior took a deep breath, ordering her thoughts before she began to speak.  "I have prayed on this, my sisters, for many long hours.  I cannot explain the appearance of this boy so suddenly in our woods, and all of the authorities I contacted have no reports of missing children.  It will be at least spring before a social service representative can be brought here from Juneau.  The county has asked us to keep him until then, and to contact them if we have any problems.  Meanwhile, they will put his description in the register of missing children in Alaska, and possibly the national registry as well.  That is how the situation stands legally."  She ended her soliloquy on this beat significantly, allowing the sisters to take in her words before she continued.

"We, however, are women of faith, and must consider the supernatural implications of the situation.  As I said, I have prayed long and hard on this, and I know that nothing happens to us which God does not intend for us.  Sister Augustine was obviously intended to find this boy, as it was she—the lone sister who is unafraid of wolves—who was outside to follow the call of the Lord.  He is here for a reason, and we must care for him and put our trust in the spirit that led him here to us."

The Sisters nodded, without glances our whispers among themselves, their obedient eyes fixed on their Superior. "When he wakes, we will question him.  Until then, it is far past curfew, Sisters, so I will ask you all—except Sister Hildegard—to complete your devotions and retire for the night.  I will update you all in refectory tomorrow."   

There was a small rustle of stiff linen habits and soft whispering as the sisters left the whitewashed infirmary room, returning to whatever prayers they had cut short when their youngest sister staggered into the silent convent carrying a near-dead child in her arms.  Sister Augustine faced her Superior levelly, her eyes revealing none of the inner nervousness she felt before what she was sure would be a reprimand for being outside the walls of the sisterhood without permission... again.  

Sister Cecilia sat softly on the edge of the boy's bed, perching lightly so as not to disturb the sleeping child.  She spoke without looking at Sister Augustine.  "I know you have been struggling, my child.  Even in the decade since you were a novice you have been struggling, trying to spiritualize your grief for the child you lost… you know," and suddenly her voice was soft and reflective and not at all her usual tone of firm authority, "I have spent thirty years of my life meditating on the mysteries of faith for several hours at least very day, and the way providence works things out when we think ourselves lost never ceases to amaze me.  I must confess I had been considering advising you to go out in the world for a while; to see if you had made the right decision, to be sure you were here for God and not for grief.  I think, for you Sister, I will have a special rule.  You will be excused from your duties in the school so you can take care of our foundling full time.  God has obviously given this child a second chance at life… perhaps He has given you one, as well."  

With that, the Superior rose and left the infirmary, leaving Sister Augustine gaping after her in amazement.  As the heavy carved wooden door slid silently shut, the sister turned back to the bed, whose occupant was sleeping peacefully despite the glaring harshness of its white illumination.  Dimming the lamps until just a faint golden light seemed to pervade the room, which cast few shadows and came from no particular source, she sat beside the bed, opening her book of hours and beginning the evening devotions she had missed during her adventures.    

Almost without her realizing it, her free hand reached out and grasped the boy's pale hand, holding it in the comforting warmth of her faith.

Detective Hashiba growled slightly as he fought his computer, which was at the moment refusing to uplink to the International Registry of Abducted Children.  His tie was hanging limp and undone around his neck and his coffee was slowly turning to glue in his red and green Christmas mug.  While he waited for the page to load, his eyes wandering to the pictures of his children, grinning at him from Santa's lap.  Then his dark eyes wandered to the photo he had taped to the side of his recalcitrant computer's monitor.  

Takeru Ishida grinned happily from where he was cuddled protectively in his older brother's arms.  In the photo, the resemblance between the two boys was striking.  Six months after the fact, Hashiba was still tracking down every unidentified corpse… every lead.  He had just been to the hospital two days before… the family was still as fucked up as ever.  He'd seen another little kid going home though… Kamiya girl… nice family, he remembered the father had joined the manhunt for the Ishida kid.  Takeru… 

The computer blinked out, the screen flickering slightly.  

Every detective has a pet case… a case they can't let go… a victim that reaches out from photos and tears and cries, 'find me!'

For Mark Hashiba, Takeru Ishida was that victim… was that face the kept him nights.  No matter how many times he told himself the kid was dead, he kept picturing the kid coming back someday, like some cheesy made-for-TV movie.  Hashiba rattled the mouse impatiently, trying to jumpstart his modem.  

He glanced out the window, watching thick snowflakes falling in the orange glow of the streetlights.  The office was deserted and silent, and Hashiba could hear faint Christmas music coming from the shops across the street.  His eyes skipped back to the photo of the Ishida children, and Takeru's eyes seemed to be piercing his.

Looking back at his monitor, he saw that ten new files had been loaded into the registry.  He clicked the link to view them, muttering to himself, "C'mon, Takeru, let me bring you home for Christmas…"

The computer paused briefly, and his hard drive made a bizarre whirring sound as the screen glowed a brief but brilliant gold.  Hashiba sat back slightly from the light, trying to recall if this website had ever done that before.  The glow died slowly, revealing the list of unidentified children recently found appeared on the screen.  

Nine files.

Hmmm…what happened to the tenth?  Someone must have claimed the kid already… 

Hashiba ran through the descriptions and photos quickly, as usual coming up empty handed… but strangely more at peace with his helplessness than he had been before.  Shutting down his computer, the detective sighed explosively.

"Merry Christmas, Takeru, wherever you are…"

In the Digital World… 

Gatomon adjusted her clawed gloves, padding silently through the darkened corridors of the fortress atop Spiral Mountain.  Thunder and lightening raged outside the thick black walls, illuminating the dark halls in eerie flashes.  She froze, listening, before continuing on her way.  The Dark Lords, Myotismon, Peidmon, were all furious.

There had been a fierce battle in one of the detention corridors recently, and Devimon had been destroyed.  The crying voice that had been echoing through the corridors for the last half year were gone… and the time shield the Dark Masters had placed on the detention level was also gone.  

Gatomon still did not understand why it had been so important that the prison run on real time rather than digital time… she could only assume that the crying had been that of a human.  The crying voice was gone now, as was the blinding yellow light and the fierce but benevolent voice that had marked its liberation. 

The last word of the battle had echoed not only across the fortress but also across the entire Digital World, which had shuddered to its foundations.  

_"…DESTINY!"_

Gatomon had only caught that last word; the rest of the cry was drowned out by the death keen of Devimon.  The cat-like Digimon weighed the word in her mind, pondering it at odd hours and before she slept.  Destiny… 

But what did it all mean?

Gatomon entered the destroyed cell carefully, slipping like a white star through the darkness… only one wall remained standing, the rest having crumbled in the battle and the resulting fury of the remaining Dark Lords.  

The sole wall was scorched in a circular pattern, with strange runes surrounding the circle as if the attack that made the mark had been ringed with letters of fire and light.  Rain poured down into the abandoned cell, chilling the white digimon.  She turned to leave, satisfied that she had seen all there was, when a tiny sound caught in her sensitive ears.  Turing sharply, she approached the wall, ignoring the pounding rain and thunder.

There, deep in the shadow cast by the crumbling ebony stones, was a digimon.  Gatomon unsheathed her claws, crouching defensively as she approached.  Her sapphire eyes narrowed as she struggled to identify the creature… then she started, sheathing her claws.

A Patamon?!? 

Lightening crashed almost directly overhead, and Gatomon caught a flash of gold in a nearby puddle.  It looked like a necklace, but when she picked it up, she recognized it for what it was.

A crest and a tag…

A crest, a tag, and a comatose Patamon…

The word sounded in Gatomon's mind again, as she gazed at the strange scene before her.

Destiny… 

Thunder sounded overhead again, and Gatomon knew she had to make a decision.  The Patamon certainly couldn't stay here, but how could she get rid of it?  When she herself was powerless to escape… she needed someone to take him away… someone she could trust… she had to get rid of the crest, too.  The shimmering golden talisman simply could not be allowed to remain in a fortress of darkness.  

Who could she trust with this…? 

And then it came to her:

Wizardmon, of course!  He owed her his life, and was determined to pay the debt.  She could trust him, he was… not a friend, per say, she had no friends.  She needed no friends.  But if she were to choose a friend, Wizardmon would certainly be her first choice.   

Picking up the crest, Gatomon gazed at it, marveling at the fiery light it emitted… it felt familiar, but vaguely foreign.  She was sure she had seen it before, but it was not hers.

She was not destined, Myotismon told her so often, and no child would ever come for her.  This crest belonged to the Patamon, and the Chosen Child who would someday come for him.  Wizardmon would know where to take them until that time came.  

Gripping the crest in her clawed glove, she allowed herself to bask, cat like, in its sun tinted warmth.  She smiled softly, filled with a sense of hope, as living seemed less like a punishment than it ever had before.

And for just a moment as she stood in the amber glow, Gatomon, for the first time in years, was glad to be alive.

_I wear a cloak of laughter_

_Lest anyone should see_

_My dress of sorrow underneath_

_And stop to pity me._

_I wear a cloak of laughter, _

_Lest anyone should guess_

_That what is hid beneath it_

_Is less than happiness…_

_                                    "Cloak of Laughter"_

_                                                Abigail Cresson_

Five years later:

Eleven-year-old Yamato Ishida sighed in deep annoyance as he plopped himself down in the highly coveted back seat of the camp bus.  Rummaging quickly in his bag, he pulled out his headphones and slid them over his ears, pushing his long blond bangs back behind his ears as he did so.  Leaning back in his seat, he glared coolly out the window as his father waved obliviously, grinning in a pleased way as though his son was one of the happily shrieking children who were only too pleased to escape their parents for the summer.  

A few feet from his father, the picture prefect Kamiya family was bidding their oldest child good-bye.  Shifting his goggles repeatedly, Tai was obviously excited about his trip to camp.  His parents both hugged him good-bye, his mother giving him an extra, tearful squeeze.  Tai then turned to his younger sister, a small, pale child who was still prone to frequent illness although she had never again landed in the hospital since her 'miracle' recovery five years before.  Tai embraced his younger sibling for a long moment, obviously reluctant to let her go.  

Matt looked away, pain darkening his blue eyes.  

A few moments later, Matt jumped as someone spoke right into his ear.

"Is this seat taken?"

Matt looked up, fully prepared to give this new seatmate the same glare that had so successfully scared the last two kids off.  The glare died on his face as he looked up into the confident, fearless eyes of Taichi Kamiya.  Matt narrowed his eyes and turned back to the window without a word.  He didn't need this right now…

Tai sat down decisively, muttering as he did so, "I'll take that as a 'no' and a 'please make yourself comfortable.'"

Tai settled himself for the ride, promising himself he'd respect his seatmate's obvious desire to be left alone.  However, like many of his resolutions, this did not last very long at all.  

"So… camp, huh?  Should be really cool, right?"

The blond beside him did not reply, or even react in the slightest way.

"Sooooo… what kind of music are you listening to?"

Nothing, and Tai's brown eyes narrowed in annoyance.  The boy decided to try a more personal track; perhaps the Ishida kid was just shy.  He never said much in school, although he seemed to remember his parents talking about him a lot just a few years ago.  Tai didn't remember what had happened, though.

"So… do you have any brothers or sisters?"

Tai got a reaction, although it certainly wasn't what he expected.  Yamato yanked off his earphones and stood jerkily, shoving roughly past Tai as he vacated the seat.  

As he pushed past Taichi as quickly as he could, he snarled quietly, "Not all of us can be as lucky as you, Kamiya."

Glaring at Tai for a final moment, he stomped his way towards the front of the bus, slamming his things down next to a terrified looking nine-year-old.  Replacing his headphones, Matt slunk down in his seat and proceeded to glower at the world from beneath the curtain of his bangs.

Tai jumped as he was slapped upside the head by an unseen hand.  Turning to face his attacker, he was startled to see Sora Takenouchi sitting across the aisle, an exasperated expression marring her normally serene face.

"Really, Tai, you have no tact at all, do you?"

Tai rubbed his head pathetically, whimpering, "Geez, what did I do?  Everyone seems to hate me today!"

Sora simply continued to glare at him, but leaned close to whisper, "His little brother disappeared, remember?  Apparently they were really, really close, and Yamato never got over it."

Tucking a strand of her auburn back up into her helmet that she never went without, Sora leaned back over to her side of the bus.  "I heard my mom say his family fell apart after that.  They had a funeral for the kid and everything, but Yamato refused to go.  It was really sad."

Tai looked at the blond he had unwittingly insulted, feeling remorse wash over him.  If something ever happened to Kari, he'd probably be in a perpetual bad mood, too.

"Gosh, I forgot about that… but I didn't mean anything by it."

Sora just shrugged, pulling out a magazine and beginning to leaf through it.  "Don't apologize to me.  If you really feel bad, tell him that."

Sister Hildegard sighed in thinly veiled annoyance as her reluctant young scholars of Latin dozed off in the breezy summer classroom.  Warm sunlight and the scent of fresh pine mountains poured in the open windows, reminding her that she promised to let the children go early today. Such hot days were rare even in summer in Alaska, and the heat was making even her most diligent students, like sweet little Takeru, tired and loathe to learn.

Poor little Takeru… after five long years his fragmented memories hadn't reassembled themselves, and they'd been unable to find a home for him.  He wasn't even sure if Takeru was his name… they called him that for lack of any other name, though.  He was such a nice boy, too… everyone who knew him said that phrase almost automatically, even the normally austere Sister Cecilia.  

"Poor little Takeru… He's such a nice boy…"

Despite his perfectly sunny disposition, however, Takeru had several faults, which ensured that he would probably never be adopted.  He was prone to violent nightmares he couldn't recall upon waking, probably due to the abuse that had left faint scars on his wrists and back.  His first language was Japanese, and although he had picked up English quickly, he still studied Japanese with Sister Augustine and often slipped back into his native tongue when nervous or upset.  He often spoke in his sleep, and when he did, it was usually in Japanese.  He was almost pathologically afraid of the dark, and often fell into depression, which he valiantly tried to hide during the long winter months when the sun didn't shine on their little corner of the world.  

He was also prone to run off at odd times, although they always found him in the same place, on the end of the dock, looking out over the Pacific Ocean as though straining to see something.  Takeru also had a habit of playing with the wolves that sometimes wandered near the convent, insisting that they would never hurt him.  They never had, but Sister Hildegard was sure her heart would stop every time she saw him running with those great beasts.  

Then there were other things, things the Sisters whispered about among themselves.  The strange golden light, the voice he spoke in his sleep… the dreams the sisters reported, of angels… the strange light in his eyes when he found one of them in a spiritual crisis, on their knees in the chapel.  How did he know when they began to doubt, when they felt their prayers were going unanswered?  

How did he know what to say?

No, the Sisters never spoke of those things, but you could hear it in the way they spoke of him, that they all knew the truth.  They all believed.

Ringing her little hand bell, Sister Hildegard shook herself from her recollections and dismissed her class.  All eight students jerked awake, most flushing guiltily under her stern gaze before dashing out the door and into the bright summer day.  Takeru lingered behind, gathering his things slowly as though in a daze.  Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, the sister tilted his small face so she could look in his eyes.

"Is something the matter, Takeru?"

His great sapphire eyes gazed up at her, but she could tell he wasn't seeing her, but something else, something lost in his mind's eye. 

"I had a bad dream… I …I missed the bus…"


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:  Don't own… don't sue.

AN:  Sorry this was so long in coming, but, as I'm sure you've noticed, the are rather healthy sized chapters, and proof-reading alone is quite time consuming.  In any event, this is going to be a very long story, because I'm already five chapters in and I've only covered part of the first episode.  Oh well…  

Anyway, please read and review… I find the reviews very helpful if nothing else.  Make my day, please!

_"Twenty years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore. Dream. Discover."_

_            Mark Twain_

What makes a miracle?  When does the line between science and faith disappear?  What is impossible?

What do you say when it snows in July? 

Joe Kido was extremely annoyed that the weather reports he had so scrupulously studied before packing for his trip had proved to be so unreliable.  Looking out his frosted window, the dark haired teen thought mournfully of his light summer clothing and wondered how long it would take for hypothermia to set in.  His brow creased in further worry as he saw the younger campers playing gleefully in the unexpected winter wonderland, seemingly oblivious to the cold in their summer clothing.  Joe wondered whether they would come in before they got sick, and quietly resolved to keep an eye out for signs of illness among the younger kids.  Although he wasn't typically terribly assertive, Joe felt most confident when dealing in matters of medicine.  

Apart from an inborn concern for the welfare of his fellow man that had always set him apart from his contemporaries, Joe secretly admired the intelligence and confidence of the doctors he knew, and inwardly desired to be as confident.  Doctors weren't clumsy, or too tall or too smart.  Joe dreamed of someday being a doctor, and finally feeling a sense of belonging, a sense of being respected and needed in a group of equals.  For a boy as quiet and sensitive as his mother always told him he was, adolescence was a tortuous age of being outcast and ignored by his competitive and territorial peers.  Joe wanted to belong… 

Joe couldn't wait to be an adult.

A sharp banging on the cabin door startled the pensive camper from his thoughts, and he turned from the window, gazing warily at his cabin mates, wondering if one of them would answer the door.  Koushiro Izumi, or 'Izzy,' as he had introduced himself, had been typing away at his little yellow laptop practically since they'd arrived, although the greeting he had given his fellow campers had been warm and friendly, if a bit distracted.  

Izzy himself was also ambivalent about having been shipped off to camp.  When he'd mentioned to his parents that he'd like to go to camp, he'd actually meant computer camp.  His parents, however, feeling he spent enough time in front of a computer and not enough socializing in a healthy way with his peers, had sent him to this camp instead.  Luckily his laptop had a wireless Internet uplink or else he'd be cut off from the real world entirely.  Which, he reflected wryly, is probably what his parents had intended all along. 

Sitting on the bunk above Izzy, coolly shutting out the world was Yamato Ishida.  He had obviously not heard the knock over the sound of his headphones, and had not moved or looked towards the door.   The blond had quickly isolated himself into what seemed to Joe an extremely unhealthy mental state.  Izzy glanced up at Joe who had resignedly begun to move towards the door, and shut down his laptop, closing it with a secure click.  

Before the twelve-year-old could reach it, however, the door slammed open to reveal Tai Kamiya, the fourth resident of the cabin that had been built for five, who was soaking wet from head to toe from the snow.  He had obviously lost his key and then found it, and was standing triumphantly silhouetted in the bright sunlight, relishing his victory over small, lost objects.

"C'mon guys!  How often does it snow in July?  Grab your backpacks and live a little!"

Izzy and Joe traded bemused glances as Tai marched determinedly back out into the unnatural weather, obviously intending to enjoy it or die trying.  The two were just standing there, silently weighing the options with the care and consideration each cautious teen applied to every aspect of their lives, when a loud thump came from behind them.   Matt had jumped down from his bunk and, grabbing something swiftly from his bag, marched straight past them and out into the snow.

The two stared after him for a long moment, then glanced back at the bunk, where Matt's headphones lay abandoned in the crumpled green quilt.  The faint, tinny sound of music told them he hadn't even paused to shut it off before he left.  Sharing one more glance that clearly said, 'well, why not?' the two grabbed their backpacks and headed out into the blinding light and snow.

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world.  Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good."

_                                    Vaclav Havel_

Sister Augustine was concerned when she finished her devotions and found that Takeru was not in the convent.  It was almost time for supper, although the Arctic summer sun was still high in the sky and would not even begin to set until long after the time when Takeru should be in bed.  She sighed fretfully as she paced through the silent halls, wondering if he had wandered down to the dock again, which was a four hour walk by the roads, such as they were, and easily two hours straight through the dense woods.  If you're an adventurous eight-year-old boy, through the woods is the only acceptable way to travel.  

As the bells began to toll the change of hours, she saw a small figure crossing the plain, sliding nimbly down the slope from the shaded emerald forest and dashing through the sea of golden arctic poppies and blueberry brambles.  Even from that distance, she could tell he was carrying something small, and, from the careful way he held it, something delicate.  Sighing deeply, she headed out towards the front garden, pausing at the infirmary on the way.

Sister Cecilia was sitting within, speaking to Tuvlaubaa, the leader of the local Inuit people, about medical supplies for the coming winter.  The old man, whose name meant 'to shield' or 'to protect' in his native language, had visited the convent often over the years, becoming something of a grandfatherly influence in Takeru's life, and Takeru often went to the permanent Inuit encampment to visit him and his people.  

Sister Augustine smiled softly at the two leaders, who had for years carried out an amiable and scrupulous professional friendship, ignoring their spiritual differences in order to best provide for both their communities in the unforgiving environment around them.  The pair of elders looked up at her curiously, guessing that her news had something to do with Takeru, as she would disturb their meeting for only one reason.

Bowing briefly to her superior, Sister Augustine said, "He's coming in with another one, Mother Superior.  May I let him bring it in?"  

At her words, both elders smiled indulgently, especially Tuvlaubaa, whose fondness for the young boy was well known.  Sister Cecilia sighed, "That boy will get his hand bitten off one day, picking up injured creatures like that.  I am just grateful he has not yet brought home a bear!"

Her Inuit friend only laughed, his dark eyes smiling through the wrinkles of age lining his face.  Unlike the sisters, his wisdom was based in a belief in the inherent good of the spirit of nature, and that if one respected nature, than one had nothing to fear from it.  

"The animals will never hurt Takeru because they recognize that he needs them as much as they need him.  Takeru seeks a purpose in life, and as long as he can help the small creatures of the forest, he no longer feels helpless himself.  Mark my words, Sisters; until the boy finds his path again, he will keep wandering."

Sister Augustine bit her lip; she never liked it when Tuvlaubaa spoke as though Takeru was something other than a little boy.  "Yes, he wanders, but he always comes home."  

Tuvlaubaa looked at her gravely, the smile gone from his eyes.  "Yes… and you know as well as he does that this is not his true home.  The world will reach out to that boy one way or another… you cannot shelter him here forever."  

As the three adults considered the implications of those words, the sounds of small feet could be heard scuffing their way down the polished wood floor of the sanctuary's halls.  Hard on the heels of the noise was Takeru himself, his blond locks windblown and his blue eyes wide with shock as they always were when he found Sister Augustine had anticipated his actions.  He was the only one who was amazed by this, however.  Takeru was painfully transparent, his feelings and thoughts broadcast in the blatant blue of his eyes, making deception an impossibility, although the sisters had not known him to ever attempt to lie in the first place.  

A bright smile lit up the young boy's face as his gaze fell on Tuvlaubaa, who, to the chagrin of the sisters, had instilled in the boy through his stories a deep love of nature, animals, and wandering.  The ancient Inuit ruffled the young boy's hair in a fatherly manner, looking at the tiny furry object in the boy's hands.  

"What have you found today, Takeru?  A bear cub, perhaps?" 

Tuvlaubaa felt the irate looks of the sisters on his back as Takeru snickered.  Opening his hands so the elder could see his foundling, Takeru said, "No… Tumi's dog had her puppies," he paused as Tuvlaubaa nodded, Tumi was his grandnephew and his Malamute had been expected to whelp sometime that week.  

"She had seven puppies, but she pushed this one away.  Tumi said she didn't have enough milk because she's small for her breed.  He said this puppy would die, but I didn't want it to, so he said I could take it and try to save it."

Turning beseeching eyes on the sisters, he asked, "May I?  She shouldn't have to die… it's not fair that she was pushed away." 

Sister Augustine all but melted into a puddle where she stood, but Sister Cecilia, long used to the sweet pleading eyes of the many nuns who had passed under her authority, held firm.  Taking the small creature from the boy, she looked it over, mentally assessing its chances.  The odds weren't good.

"Takeru…" she trailed off, looking away from his eyes, "you understand that this puppy will probably die?  It's very young to be separated from its mother."  

Takeru met her eyes squarely, a troubled expression on his serious young face.  "Why?" he asked finally, looking at the three adults gathered around him.  Looking at the puppy, he touched it, running a finger over its silky infant fur.

"Why did she push her baby away?"

Looking at each other uncomfortably, the adults declined to answer, realizing the question hadn't really been about a puppy.  As the sisters bustled around, assembling the necessary items to sustain a puppy's life, Tuvlaubaa knelt down by Takeru, looking him earnestly in the eyes.

"What shall you name her?  Giving her a name will give her a reason to live… something that is loved and named does not easily or lightly pass into death.  Name her wisely, therefore, Takeru."  

Takeru, his eyes wide with the seriousness off the responsibility, immediately began considering names, not noticing the grim looks traded by the sisters as they labored over the faltering life of the puppy.  The Inuit nodded in response to the grateful looks the sisters gave him, and guided the preoccupied boy out of the infirmary with a gentle hand.

_They gave me a life that's not so easy to live_

_And they sent me on my way_

_I've left my love and forgot my dreams_

_And lost them all along the way_

_But God this road can be so long_

_Another endless day another seven hundred miles_

_Will take me further from my home…_

_                                    "I Feel You"_

_                                                3 Doors Down_

Sora realized too late that there are some times when you can't turn back, when reaching out a hand to something that seems insignificant can be like reaching through the doors of destiny to touch your own future.  As she gazed at the shiny, red trimmed object in her hand, watching its screen slowly fade, she was overcome with the urge to throw the object away, to toss it from her with all of her might and go home to her family, her mother, and leave this place.

Squinting into the tropical sunlight, however, she realized that she was further from home, further from her mother whom she'd so desperately wanted to distance herself from, than she'd ever intended.  And she had no idea how to get back.  Like Dorothy dropped unwittingly and unwillingly into a strange land, Sora was besieged with guilt for ever wanting to leave her family and home.  What had then seemed oppressive and dictatorial now seemed safe and familiar, and loving.  

Her family's love for her… and she'd taken it for granted.  How could she ever have made such an obvious mistake?

Clipping the strange object to her belt in an easy, almost natural movement, she resolved to change all that.  _When I get home, _she thought,_ when I get home I'll make sure they know how much I love them._  With the fire of her resolve driving her onward, she pushed forward into the thick brush, determined to find her way.

No matter what.

"Hi!  I'm Biyomon!"

Sora froze at the chirpy cheerful voice that sounded behind her, steeling herself before turning to face whoever or whatever it was.  Fear turned to shock when her eyes landed on the voice's owner.

A small pink bird-like thing smiled up at her from the forest floor.  A vague sense of familiarity kept Sora from turning and running outright as the small creature fluttered towards her, its rose colored plumage shimmering slightly in the scattered sunlight and shade that made a mosaic of the mossy terrain.

"What's your name?" it chirped in a strangely affectionate way.

Sora had to bite her tongue to keep from saying, 'Dorothy Gale.'

Mimi Tachikawa fanned herself with her delightfully pink hat, hoping she didn't look as strung out as she felt.  The small green creature before her was looking at her with an extraordinary amount of concern for what appeared to be a talking plant.  She continued fanning herself, wondering how she had gotten wherever she was.  Unfortunately, her parents hadn't allowed her to bring her cell phone to camp, saying something about her needing a break from the her incessant shopping and her shallow friends.  

Although, as she cast an appraising eye at her current surroundings, she realized that she slightly beyond even a roaming cellular signal.  Sighing to herself, Mimi recognized that while she was being honest with herself, she might as well say that her parents were completely right about her and her friends.  Secretly she'd been relieved to be separated from her friends for a summer… she had begun to feel stifled around them lately… of course, shopping was an important part of life, and pink was certainly to be equated with oxygen, but really, who cares? 

Recently she had begun to notice the patronizing looks given to her by store clerks and teachers, as though they were constantly judging her and finding to be, as she secretly feared she was, without substance.  Sometimes she wanted to stand up in the crowds of her friends and family and fellow students and shriek at the top of her lungs that she wasn't like that, that she could be smart and responsible and resourceful.  That she could be self reliant and independent.  

But why should I, if you don't expect it and I don't expect it?  If you don't believe in me, why should I believe in myself?  

_But I know I could… I could count for something… I could matter… and I'm not just another airhead._

_I just can't be…_

A rustle of leaves brought her attention back to her leafy companion, who was shifting awkwardly before her, obviously having just said something that Mimi, in another trademark ditz move that she loathed herself for, had not heard.  She smiled in what she hoped was a flattering way down at the creature as she continued to fan herself with her hat.

"I'm sorry… Palmon, was it?  I didn't quite catch that.  Could you please repeat it?"

Well, no matter what else could be said about her, no one was going to accuse her of having bad manners, even in the most unusual of situations.  Palmon perked visibly as Mimi gave the plant her full attention, thoughtfully angling her hat so both could benefit from the cooling breeze it created.

"I said we should go… we have to meet Gennai soon, and the others!  I can take you there!"  The plant beamed up at her, and Mimi realized that a meeting with this Gennai person was obviously a big deal, and not to be missed, by talking plant standards, at least.

"Who is Gennai?  What do you mean others?  Can he help me get home?"  Mimi was babbling, she knew, but once voiced her concerns began to dominate her thoughts… where was she?  Could she trust this Gennai?  What 'others'?

Palmon appeared unruffled by the questions, although she looked a bit uncertain when Mimi mentioned home.  "Gennai can help!  He'll explain everything, I promise!"  Great leafy eyes peered beseechingly up at Mimi, whose doubts slowly began to fade to a growing resolve.  She could get through this, she could be courageous, and this was her chance to prove to everyone that there was more to Mimi Tachikawa than meets the eye.

Placing her hat back on her head, Mimi stood determinedly.  "Lead the way, then, Palmon.  Let's get this show on the road."

Gennai looked around the clearing, standing calmly in the circle of sunlight, waiting for the digidestined to appear.  In a lucky twist of fate, Devimon, who would most likely have been the Chosen's first adversary, had been defeated far ahead of schedule by the Child of Hope, and MagnaAngemon.  The children could therefore immediately set out after their Crests, and begin working towards restoring the balance of the Digital World.  

Looking at the Crest of Hope that was shimmering slightly in his wrinkled hand, the elder prayed that TK would remember nothing of his first visit to the Digiworld, and the terror from which Gennai had been unable to save him.  It had been Patamon who had, in the end, disobeyed Gennai and set off to Spiral Mountain alone, and, in a moment of tremendous valor and foolishness, had managed to save the Child of Hope, and send him out of the Digital World through a variation of his 'Gate of Destiny' attack.

Gennai had been sure he would never see Patamon again after the cataclysmic and premature battle, but to his great surprise and relief, Wizardmon had returned the digimon and the Crest only a week later.  The digivice was still missing, although Gennai assumed that TK still had it… if not, another was easily made.

Then, as though summoned by his thoughts, Patamon fluttered into the clearing, a distressed look on his face.  He was alone, which was surprising, because surely the children ought to be there by now.

Looking at the flying digimon, Gennai asked in concern, "What is it?  Where is he, Patamon?"

Patamon, his eyes wide in distress, still looking around wildly, whimpered back, "He didn't come!  I looked everywhere; he simply isn't here!"  
  


Looking back in later years, Gennai would wonder at how quickly the ramifications of that statement laid themselves before him.  Dropping his dignity, Gennai turned and ran from the clearing, looking desperately for Gabumon and his charge.  He had a question that only the Child of Friendship could answer.

In later years, Patamon would say that he hadn't followed Gennai because he already knew the answer to the question, as if some of the perceptive powers of Angemon had trickled down suddenly into his devolved form.  He simply fluttered there in the clearing, looking up at the golden sun and hoping he hadn't thrown TK to his death when he pushed him so desperately out of the Digital World.

_I waited till I saw the sun…_

_I don't know why I didn't come…_

_When I saw the break of day,_

_I wished that I could fly away,_

_Instead of kneeling in the sand,_

_Catching teardrops in my hand…_

_                                    "Don't Know Why"_

_                                                Norah Jones_

Kari stood looking out at the barren landscape, wincing as flashes of lightening illuminated the darkened valley… exposing the corpses of too many digimon to her unwilling eyes. So much death and destruction… this wasn't how it was supposed to end…

She wanted to scream, but the wind stole her voice, tearing her words away from even her own ears… she felt as though she was nailed in place, unable to run from the horror of the truth played out in too much color before her.  She could smell the sick sweet smell of death and taste salt and copper as her tears mingled with blood as they traveled down her face… 

She heard a gasp from behind her, through the shrieking of the wind and the roaring in her ears, and as though that sound broke the spell that held her in place, suddenly she could move and breathe again.  She whirled around, and met his eyes.

He was here… he always came, in good dreams and in bad… and from the expression on his face, he saw exactly what she saw.

Alone in the barren landscape, the two stared at each other, the sole pillars of life in a wasteland of death.  His eyes traveled over the surroundings, the bright blue darkening as he took in the enormity of their situation.  Then, soundlessly, his hand stretched out to her across the haze of smoke and despair.

Gratefully, she took it, and held on for dear life as the world exploded in sound and light around them.  


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer:  I don't own it… I've sold my soul to FAFSA, for God's sake! 

AN:  oh…. my … God…  Did I write an action sequence?  I think I did… and it's about bloody time, too.  After the next chapter, maybe two, I'm probably going to jump ahead about, oh, seven years.  If I delineate every battle and step the destined go through, this fic will never end.  Please let me know if you think this is going to fast, or changing pace too quickly.  I'll refer back to what happened in the time past in flashbacks.  

Anyway, for now, it's still moving pretty slowly.  Please, please give me some feedback.  I really feel like I've lost you all somewhere, and no one is reading this.  I do hope your enjoying this…

A diamond of a morning 

_Waked me an hour too soon;_

_Dawn had taken in the stars_

_And left the faint white moon._

_O white moon, you are lonely,_

_It is the same with me,_

_But we have the world to roam over,_

_Only the lonely are free._

_                                    "Morning Song"_

_                                                Sarah Teasdale_

It felt like TK.

Matt stared at the object in his hands, torn between an overpowering desire to believe that his brother might still be out there somewhere, making his way home… and an equally overpowering desire to deny it all, to cling with fervor to the loneliness and despair that had become his armor against the world.  Because if hope was powerful, than so too was despair, just as unreachable, just as steadfast.  But holding the object in his hands, watching the light glint off its amber facets, there was no such thing as despair.  Could it ever have existed?  No, there was only faith, only strength, only justice.  Only peace and only love.  Only compassion and only charity.  Only goodness.  Only hope.

And it felt like TK. 

It felt like the color of his eyes and the smell of his hair.  It felt like the day he was born and the first time he smiled.  It felt like his first word, like his first steps, like pride and like protection.  It was true.  It was all true… Gabumon and Devimon and Gennai, they were all as real as the memory of that last morning, of coffee and sunlight and tears.  He raised stinging eyes to the elder before him, only will and pride restraining his sorrow.

"Hope?"  He asked, asking everything.  Gennai's eyes were filled with regret as he gazed at the Child of Friendship, filled with regret and guilt.  He had not acted soon enough, his inaction… his silence… his foolish hopes had brought them to this place in time.

"Yes… you each have a crest that stands for a particular trait you exemplify among humanity…  your brother's was Hope.  He—it is a rare kind of light to have inside oneself… the light of Hope.  We… there is no other who can bear this Crest, and all the Crests are needed to win the battles that lie ahead.  If he lives, he MUST be found, Yamato.  Take the Crest with you… it may aid you in your search for the others.  Hold it until your brother comes to claim it… if he lives, he will find you eventually, if you do not find him.  Some… destinies… are inescapable."

Matt slid the Crest over his head, feeling it warm ever so slightly as it settled directly over his heart.  He glanced over at Gabumon, who gave him an encouraging smile, before looking back at Gennai.  

"And my Crest?" He asked.

Gennai shook his head slightly, a sad smile on his face.  "That is something you must learn for yourself, Yamato.  Your brother did not know the meaning of his Crest until he found the answer within himself… you and the others must do the same."

Yamato frowned.  "Others?"

Gennai smiled benignly as the bushes behind him, as if on cue, began to rustle and shake as someone moved through them.  A small orange dinosaur—digimon, Matt corrected himself—broke free of the concealing greenery, a toothy grin crossing his face as he saw Gennai. 

"Here they are, Tai!  I told you I could find them!"

Matt's eyes widened and he stifled a groan as Tai Kamiya struggled through the thick brush, muffled curses attesting to the presence of thorns on some of the verdant undergrowth.   Nonchalantly attempting to fish the leaves out of his mass of hair, Tai surveyed the scene before him.  A strange look crossed his face as his brown eyes fell on Matt, and Gabumon who was waving cheerfully at Agumon.  It looked like the glance was almost anger, before realization, and then pity replaced it.  The two adolescents locked eyes for a brief moment, and Matt was about to scowl, before he felt the weight of his brother's crest around his neck.  He stared at Tai for a long moment, before finally looking away, focusing on Gennai, a blessedly neutral figure.

Tai opened his mouth, about to address the elder when four more children popped out of the surrounding bushes… followed or preceded by their own digimon.  Gabumon and Agumon ran over to the approaching creatures, gleefully greeting each other and commenting on each chosen child.  The children themselves were less talkative, eyeing each other warily.  Some of them, namely Mimi, Sora, and Joe, smiled tentatively, while Tai and Matt continued to stare neutrally at Gennai, and Izzy gazed around as though attempting to absorb all he saw.  

Gennai glanced at the children who had formed a rough circle around him, each with their partners, each confused and concerned.  Gazing around at their faces, he could pick out the Crests, each child already exhibiting signs of the requisite spiritual development.  Love and Sincerity, Knowledge and Reliability, and Courage… and last his eyes landed on Friendship, the problem of the group.  The Child of Friendship exhibited appropriate behavior traits only when his brother was involved… had Hope been with the first seven as planned, the problem would have rectified itself in time.  But now…   they could only hope… something that was in dangerously short supply at the moment.

Clearing his throat, he began.  "Well, now that we are… all… assembled, I suppose you would like to know what you are doing here.  Yamato and I have already discussed this briefly, but for the rest of you, I must ask you to suspend your disbelief at least until I am finished.  Now, as I told Yamato, you have each been summoned here to the Digital world…"

Gennai spoke into the silence for the better part of an hour, watching the expressions on the faces of the Chosen as they absorbed the news both good and bad, and the differences in their reactions were like a mosaic of different temperaments, from barely restrained anger in Tai to rabid curiosity in Izzy.  

When he finished, Tai was the first to speak.  "What do you mean we can't go home?!?"

Gennai nodded sadly, meeting the boy's eyes squarely.  "I do not have the power to send you home.  After you have found your Crests and defeated the Dark Masters, your Crests will be able to bring you home.  You can choose to not fight, if you so desire, but you will never be able to go home."  

Tai looked as though he was ready to argue, and Joe and Mimi looked faintly ill at the thought of fighting, but Sora stepped forward, placing a determined and restraining hand on Tai.  "What do we have to do?"

Gennai reached into a deep hidden pocket, his robes were conveniently riddled with just such pockets, and brought out a handful of tags, which he tossed towards the children.  Like the Digivices, they floated in front of their intended owners, and after a moment of trepidation, the kids grabbed them.  

"You are now on the continent of Server, your Crests are scattered over this continent.  These tags will lead you to them.  Things are… not quite as I would have planned them to be, and at least one of the Dark Masters has already been destroyed.  The others will be hot on your trail, however.  Your digimon can protect you, and you must protect each other.  I wish you the best of luck… the fates of your world and this world now rest entirely on your shoulders."

Izzy looked surprised, and gazed at the elder with concern in his dark eyes.  "What?  You're not coming with us?"

Gennai shook his head.  "No, child.  This road the sev—six of you must walk alone, if you are ever going to be able to fulfill you destinies.  I will e-mail you from time to time to monitor your progress, so remember to check your mail, Izumi, and you will be fine."

The children watched in shock as he vanished into the woods, swiftly fading in the brush.  They looked at each other, silent for a long moment; before Tai, never one for patience, finally spoke.

"Well, now what?"

Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you… 

_By now, you should've somehow realized what you've gotta do…_

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding…_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding…_

_There are many things that I would like to say to you…_

_But I don't know how…_

_Because maybe…you're gonna be the one that saves me…_

_Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you…_

_                                                                        "Wonderwall"_

_                                                                                    Oasis_

Unseen, a final watcher fluttered into a nearby tree, blue eyes gazing over the assembled partners before settling on the Child of Friendship.  Patamon stifled a jealous sigh at the sight of the boy, who looked so much like his own partner.  Blue eyes glanced his way, and with a start, the small Digimon realized the boy was wearing TK's crest.  The ice blue eyes slid past his hiding place without seeming to see him, but the frosty glance sent a shudder through him.  The eyes were eerily similar and yet vastly different from TK's.  Patamon remembered it all so vividly, even the parts in which he had digivolved to a higher form…

_Angemon battled the creature fiercely, his staff hitting dark flesh with dull thuds and cracking thin bones in rotting black wings.  Desperation was beginning to distract the Holy Warrior from the intricacies of the battle, allowing the demon to get several solid hits in.  The Angel knew he had to act quickly, before the other Dark Masters realized what was going on and came to investigate.  The amount of Holy energy being thrown off by him and his charge could not go unnoticed for long.  Devimon seemed to realize this also, and his attacks were as loud and as flashy as he could make them, attempting to broadcast the duel throughout the shadowed citadel._

_The room was steeped in deep shadows broken in places by searing golden light, the battle taking place in total darkness and blinding brilliance by turns.  The darkness was a handicap for the Champion of Hope, who could only see his opponent in the sudden turns of light.  Angemon was torn between his instinct to destroy the dark creature through any available means, and an equally powerful instinct to stay between his already suffering Chosen and danger. _

_Twisting the golden staff in a deft movement, the Angel sent the Demon flying into a wall, momentarily stilling the combat as both assailants regained their equilibrium.  Angemon spared a glance for his Chosen, who was huddled in a corner, his eyes wide in his face as he watched the epic scene before him.  His Crest of Hope and Digivice were clutched in small, bloody hands, casting a soft but constant golden radiance about the child.  _

_The glance was a millisecond to long._

_Angemon felt the Evil before he even saw the blurred movement—and hard upon the metallic taste of Evil was a flash of blinding pain along his back as the creature's claws ripped through his bright wings, sending a rain of scarlet blood and ivory feathers flying through the darkness.  The feathers slowly lost their radiance as they scattered, and Angemon watched the dimming glow of the falling feathers with a detached feeling of mingled horror and failure. _

_Time seemed to stretch out… the taste of blood in his mouth…the nauseating pulse of Evil in the room…the dizzying patterns of glowing feathers as they floated in breezes of light and dark, good and evil…the insane, vengeful laughter of the Demon… and the tears flowing down TK's grungy, bloody face…_

_Devimon gathered up his energy for a final attack, the foul energy building and peaking in a shrieking of despair that Angemon could feel vibrating in his bones…he looked down at TK, the Child of Hope, and wondered how it could have come down to this…so much suffering, and he couldn't even protect one child from the cruelty of a war older than time…what was the point of anything if he couldn't protect a single boy?_

_"I'm sorry TK… Gennai was right, I couldn't save you…I—"The angel faltered, blood loss and emotion making the words muddled and soft, "I—I had hoped—" _

_The Demon behind him continued to laugh in the way that only those who have truly been given to darkness can, and the Holy warrior could only pray that his Chosen could hear his last confession.  TK was looking up at him, and despite the encumbering helmet, Angemon felt sure the child was staring directly into his eyes, blue meeting blue, and despite the many months the boy had spent in this small bit of misplaced hell, the Digimon could read nothing of suffering in those young eyes._

_The child looked into his eyes… "I hoped too… for Matt…"_

_As if that name was the signal for time to resume its normal pace, suddenly everything was moving fast, too fast.  The Crest of Hope exploded into sunlight, and the rush of luminescence hit the Angel just as the Dark attack hit him from behind.  _

_For a moment it seemed as though time had stopped again, and the Demon and the child watched as the light and darkness battled for the interminable space between two heartbeats.     And then the light won._

_"Angemon… digivolve to…MagnaAngemon!"   _

_Through the infinite iridescence surrounding him, the Holy Champion could just make out an expression of wonder on the face of his charge, which contrasted sharply with expression of horror on the face of Devimon.  Now the tiny cell was bathed in light, all shadow banished from even the darkest corners as the Angel leveled his sword at his opponent.  With a confidence born of preordained victory, MagnaAngemon swung the sword in a circle, creating a deadly ring of white fire and golden justice. _

_"Gate of Destiny!" _

Patamon was jerked back to the present as the children, after some argument, settled down to rest for the night before setting out the next morning.  Settling into his leafy perch, Patamon decided to follow the Chosen for the time being, not that he could possibly help much since he had so disastrously failed his own Destined, and now could no longer digivolve.  Why had he pushed TK through the gate?  Why hadn't he found another way?  

He knew TK was still alive.  If TK were dead, then he too would be dead, having already formed the bond with the boy that the other children were developing with their own partners now.  The question, then, was where was TK, and how was he ever going to find him?  

He must have gone to the real world… the Human world.  Patamon would just have to get there, somehow.  Surely it wouldn't be hard to find TK once he was there.  He had found him the Digital World easily enough.  

The orange digimon smiled to himself as he settled down to watch over the remaining Chosen, especially TK's brother.  He wouldn't fail this time… not this time.

_"A man who hasn't discovered something he will die for isn't fit to live."_

_                                                                        Martin Luther King, Jr._

The next morning, six extremely grumpy Chosen gathered around, sharing what small rations each had brought on this impromptu adventure.  As they ate, they talked to each other, wariness slowly giving way to a tenuous camaraderie.  Like it or not, they were in this crazy situation together, and each still had Gennai's charge, 'Protect each other' ringing in their ears.  

"Any e-mail, yet, Izzy?"  Tai asked, falling into a leadership role easily, although the rest of the kids didn't whether this was because he was the most qualified or if he was just the loudest.  

Izzy, typing rapidly in manner that would soon become extremely familiar to the Destined, shook his head.  "Not yet… I guess he's waiting for us to get started before he gives us an update."

The kids sat in silence for a long moment until Joe, always pragmatic, finally asked what was on all their minds.  "How do we know where to start?  What do these Crests even look like?"

Matt sat silent, in the group but distinctly separate, debating whether or not to show his treasure to the others.  Finally… "Well, they look like this.  It belonged—_belongs_—to my brother."  He pulled the Crest of Hope out from under his shirt, feeling slightly bereft as its warmth left him. The other kids gasped slightly, leaning forward to watch the sunlight dance on its golden facets.

"Prodigious…" Izzy breathed, squinting slightly as he examined it critically.  

Tai reached out to take it, and silence rippled over the group as Matt jerked back, pulling the Crest towards his chest possessively.  The others eyed Matt with varying expressions of pity and wariness.  After a long moment, Matt extended it towards them again.  He gave them a sheepish almost-smile.

"Sorry… I get a little weird about my little brother."

Tai smirked, withdrawing his hand in a placating manner.  "There's a newsflash—OW!  Geez Sora!"

Smiling slightly across the circle at Matt, Sora shook her hand slightly to stop the stinging from smacking Tai.  "Stupid Tai."

The digimon, who had until this point been watching the proceedings in tense silence, began to giggle quietly at the disgruntled expression on Tai's face.  All except Gabumon, who placed a paw on Matt's knee, smiling up at his partner in an encouraging way.  At that moment, however, Matt's eyes were focused across the circle, on Sora who was giggling with Tai and Biyomon.

"Better put that away."

Matt startled, his eyes flicking from the Crest to Joe, had been sitting quietly beside him, considering the Crest as the others laughed. The older boy smiled slightly.  "TK will want it back when we find him."

Matt stared at him, wondering how much he had guessed from what little Gennai had told the others about TK last night.  Joe only smiled in a knowing way, as though the intricacies of brotherhood were no mystery to him, and Matt's half smile turned into a full one as he slipped the Crest over his head.

The boys stood and stretched as the group prepared to set out into the woods, and into their destinies.

Once there was a time Like no other time before 

_Hope was still an open an open door…_

_Once upon a dream…_

_And I was unafraid, _

_The dream was so exciting,_

_But now I see it fade, _

_And I am here alone…_

_Once upon a dream…_

_You were heaven sent to me_

_Was it never meant to be?_

_Are you just a dream?_

_Could we begin again?_

_Once upon a dream…_

_                                    "Once Upon a Dream"_

_                                                Jekyll &Hyde_

A pair of blue eyes watched the Crest hungrily as it disappeared beneath Matt's shirt.  Patamon was still groggy, as the tree he had perched in the night before hadn't been spectacularly comfortable.  His dreams hadn't helped, either.  They weren't bad, per say, just disturbing.  It was actually vaguely disturbing that he should be dreaming at all, as it wasn't a trait terribly common to digimon.  Most digimon require so much energy to Digivolve and maintain their forms that they slept like the dead.  

However, ever since bonding with TK in the darkness and terror of Spiral Mountain all those years ago, Patamon found that he dreamt with alarming frequency.  As usual, his dreams the night before had been about TK, but not about the past, this time.  It had been odd…

TK was sitting, with his digimon sitting in his lap, looking longingly across a campfire at his brother.  But TK was different than Patamon remembered him being… older—younger than the other children, but older than he'd been at Spiral Mountain.

_Matt stood up, finally, and came around the circle to sit beside his brother.  He was different, as well.  Not older, but younger. He looked the same, physically, but he seemed… more innocent, somehow, to Patamon, who watched him warily from his partner's lap._

_Matt looked down at the boy, a protective, fond look on his face.  "What's up, squirt?  You should get some rest."_

_TK shrugged, glancing at his brother shyly, as though he didn't really know how to say what was on his mind.  "I—can't sleep…" He looked down, slightly ashamed, as though he felt he were being a burden to his brother and the group by admitting this.  _

_Matt looked at him quietly for a moment, before reaching into his pocket.  Pulling out a silver harmonica, he played a soft, simple melody.  The notes floated out over the fire, quieting the other children, who stilled their activities to join the warm moment created by the two brothers.  _

The music continued into the night, and as the dream slowly faded, Patamon came to a realization that woke him with a start.

"That's how it should have been…"

Awwwww… come on, please?  Just let me know there's SOME life in the universe…


	7. chapter 7

Disclaimer:  Don't own, don't sue.

AN:  Thanks for all the wonderful reviews.  There has been a rather major time jump, because I was totally blocked with the first season, so I moved right on to the second season, which I have all planned out.  Seven years have passed since the last chapter.  

Please keep the reviews up, they were so helpful and inspiring!

_Doctors have come, from distant cities,_

_Just to see me._

_Stand over my bed, disbelieving what they're seeing…_

_People see me; I'm a challenge to your balance_ __

_I'm over heads how I confound you_

_And astound you to know_

_I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation_

_And as far as you see you can offer me no explanation._

_Oh, I believe Fate smiled and Destiny,_

_Laughed as she came to my cradle,_

_Know this child will be able…_

_Laughed as she came to my mother,_

_Know this child will not suffer…_

_Laughed as my body she lifted,_

_Know this child will be gifted…_

_With love, with patience, and with faith…_

_She'll make her way…_

_                                                "Wonder"_

_                                                            Natalie Merchant_

Seven years later…

Kari knew how it should have been.  

In her dreams, the Child of Light had seen the other road, seen the dawn of hope.  She knew the war should have ended, that, now, at fifteen, she should have seen peace achieved.  But it was all wrong… all wrong now.

He wasn't here… sometimes she believed he must be dead, and that they'd be fighting forever.  It seemed like they'd been fighting forever as it was.  It was times like that when the Dark Ocean loomed before her, with only that layer of golden light between her and it.  She always came back from the edge; always lead back though the darkness of her dream by his voice.

But he could never tell her where he was.  Oh, she'd made the connection between the boy in her dreams and Ishida-san's missing younger brother.  She'd known during the last battle with Myotismon, when the Crest of Hope had activated itself and allowed Garurumon to warp digivolve along with her brother's Greymon.  The amber glow had engulfed Ishida-san, and as soon as she'd seen it, she'd known.  

It was not the first or the last time the Crest of Hope had activated itself without the presence of its bearer.  The Crest would continue to aid them, although without its bearer the Destined had taken years to defeat Peidmon and then Apocalymon.  Gennai himself had remarked to her after the last the Dark Masters had fallen, which had happened, by her count, three years later than it should have, that the Crest of Hope seemed to be actively shielding them from finding its bearer.  It was as though the Crest was pushing them through to a new destiny, once the original plan had been thrown off course.  He said it would reveal the location of its bearer in due time.  Kari recalled the meaningful look he had given her, telling her that she must continue to always follow her heart, even if it was against the opinions of her brother.

It hadn't helped that part way through the war with the Dark Masters, Tai and Ishida-san had had a fight… and had not spoken since except to occasionally collaborate on especially difficult battles.  They were civil, then, but the line had been drawn, and gradually, through the years, the Chosen had fallen down on either side of it.  Mimi and Joe had chosen to side with Ishida-san, preferring to fight only in extremity or defense, while Sora and Izzy had sided with Tai, believing the Darkness should be purged aggressively from the digital world.  Both sides assumed that Kari, of course, agreed with her brother.

Not that any of them had ever bothered to ask. 

Kari had a better understanding of the Darkness than any of _them_, though.  

She knew that, while repulsive, the Darkness was as much a part of the digital world as the Light.  One could not exist without the other.  

And so she alone was not surprised by the appearance of the Dark Spires across the digital world.  The older Chosen were dispirited by their digimons' inability to help in these battles, gradually drifting away from each other, and so the new destined had formed a third circle, their armor evolutions allowing them to continue fighting.  

Sometimes she visited the golden egg that still waited in the cave where she'd found her own.  Sometimes she hated him for not fighting harder to get back to them.  But then, she dreamed and he was there, and… and Gennai was right.

Hope and Light do go hand in hand.

But as the war stretched on, hope grew thin, and the small issues that had always plagued the Destined began to magnify.  Tai and Sora had been dating for years… driving Ishida-san further away as he nursed his broken heart with music and isolation.  Kari had noticed that he had stopped wearing the Crest of Hope, and stopped actively looking for his brother, when Sora had chosen Tai.  It was though the light had left him… sometimes, when Kari looked at him, she saw him draped in shadow.  She'd blink, and the effect would be gone, but it was there.  Friendship was failing, slowly; despair eating away at it, and its bearer, like a cancer.  

The failing of the Crest of Friendship was subtly rippling out into the rest of the Destined, straining even the most solid friendships.  Joe and Izzy got along well, although both had begun to bury themselves in their studies again, and had not truly recovered from the last argument they'd had about Matt—it was hard to call him that, since he'd pulled away—about Matt and Tai.  Sora and Mimi's differences had always burdened their friendship, and the divide between Tai and Matt had eventually cooled their friendship to indifference. 

The new Destined, for the most part, seemed immune to these effects, although Motomiya Daisuke, or Davis, as he was—_ahem_—affectionately nicknamed, seemed to be becoming more and more hotheaded and rash as the battles wore on.  That is to say, he was growing more and more like her brother every year, which made her feel ever more nauseous as he continued to hit on her daily.  Kari had a shrewd idea that Friendship should have been balancing his personality, but in Matt's despair, it was not, curtailing Davis' emotional maturity.  Inoue Miyako—or 'Yolei,' her middle name that she preferred—and Hida Iori seemed as yet unaffected by the disintegration of the unity of the Crests.  

As for herself, Kari was beginning to see that even if TK were to appear at her doorstep that very moment, the damage already done to the hearts of the Chosen would take a small miracle to undo.  

She pulled her knee-high uniform socks off angrily, tossing them into the corner of her room.  Her room was, like the room of any adolescent girl, an eclectic mix of things both childish and adult.  Her walls were covered in photographs both framed and merely taped up; her shelves filled with novels and stuffed animals.  Only, for most young girls, "The Art of War" was not one of their novels, and their photographs weren't reconnaissance photos of enemy territory.  

From her bed, the wide blue eyes of Gatomon watched her warily, the feline digimon waiting until her Chosen was done venting before asking what had happened.  Not that she didn't already know.  

"God, Gato!  We knock down a control spire, he builds one somewhere else!  We've been fighting back and forth for four years!  He's never going to give up!"

Gatomon sat up, stretching carefully, allowing herself to fully indulge in the euphoria of a really, really good stretch in the way that only a cat can.  "And we are?"  The feline asked, arching an eyebrow at her partner.  

She and Kari were having this conversation more and more often of late, as the fracturing of the Destined and the Dark war took its toll on the Child of Light.  Kari continued to pace around the room, shedding the more cumbersome articles of her uniform into blandly colored heaps on the floor, until she was climbed into bed, adorned in an oversized t-shirt and shorts.  She snuggled into the sheets, stretching out beside Gatomon and scratching the special, not-so-secret place behind her ears.

"Oh… of course not.  It's just so… tiring sometimes."

Gatomon did not reply, she knew she wasn't expected to.  Instead, she allowed her defenses to fall in the way that only Kari ever saw, closing her eyes and purring softly as her partner unwound from her day.  She knew Kari often felt like she was the only person who could see anything, trapped screaming in a crowd that only saw her as the sweet and innocent angel of light, who could no more do wrong than she could make a decision for herself.   Kari's unique knowledge of what might have happened only added to her frustration, and her feelings of helplessness.  

Gatomon kept purring until she heard Kari's breathing even into the easy rhythms of sleep.

Like a life in detail Such a close up view… From another angle… 

_Like another you._

You thought that happiness was automatic… 

_You were living in the meantime…_

_It's that feeling again_

_Do you remember when…_

_You had it all sewn up…_

_And then the color ran…_

_Like a life in detail…_

_Such a close up view _

_Like a mirror image_

_Of another you._

_                        "Life in Detail"_

_                                    Robert Palmer_

_Takeru looked up at the Angels shimmering strangely against the flat gray sky, their light absorbing rather than reflecting into the black ocean beneath.  She stood beside him, and he was filled with a sense of relief, as if she had been gone or missing and he'd found her.  Her hair, bound by its familiar pink barrettes, seemed to shine in the Holy light cast by their companions, standing out against the gloom.  Just in the same way that she always seemed to stand against the shadows.  She turned to him, a strange look in her warm eyes…_

_She said something… a question?  He replied strangely, but honestly._

_"I care about you, Kari."_

_Kari… it was her name, and as the realization came to him, the dream shifted, darkness and light flashing before his eyes, he could hear her calling out to him._

_"TK!  Where are you?"_

TK… it sounded familiar, but as he reached out for the memory, the golden wall that he had grown to hate flashed before him, and she was on the other side of it, along with everything he thought he knew but could never recall.  He beat against the barrier, fury and frustration fueling him, until scarlet blood began to flow down his arms, almost fluorescing in the light of the wall.  

_"WHY?  WHY?  Why won't you let me through?  Why won't you let me remember?"_

_Sinking to his knees before the wall of light, he screamed himself hoarse as he had so many times before.  Tears of loss and wrath sliding unheeded down his face, he whispered brokenly before the golden presence._

_"Why won't you let me help her?"_

The voice answered as it always had, as calm and implacable as the earth itself.  "You have been given time to heal… your time will come.  Your future will come."

Economical, starched sheets, dark with sweat, flew everywhere as Takeru jerked out of his dream, his long adolescent limbs getting tangled in the pristine linen as his violent struggle with the being in the dream sent him tumbling off the bed.  He hit the polished, yellow wood of the floor with a thud.  He sat on the cool surface for a long moment, collecting himself as cold tears and icy sweat dripped down his face.  He wiped his mouth and tasted copper, making him jerk in surprise.  Looking down at his shaking fists, he took in his bloody, bruised knuckles with nauseating shock.  

Unable to internalize his terror any longer, Takeru jerked towards the small bathroom adjoining his room, tripping out of his soaked sheets, and retched into the toilet until his stomach was empty.  Kneeling in the harsh florescent lighting of the small room, he pressed himself against the cool, deep blue tiles and tried to breathe evenly.  

Squinting up into the white light, he gasped, "You call _this _healing?!? God almighty…"

A low whine sounded behind him, and a cold, wet nose sniffed along the back of his neck and his ear, tickling him.  A pair of pale blue eyes met his, and he rubbed the Malamute soothingly, pressing his face into the deep, silver-black fur.  

"S'okay, Kiu…  I'm alright now…"

The seven-year-old female, which he'd so long ago rescued from abandonment, began to wash his face thoroughly, making concerned noises in her throat.  Takeru laughed weakly, pulling himself to his feet, flushing the toilet and moving over to the sink.  He ignored his pale reflection in the mirror, washing his face and sloshing the cold water over his hair.  He shook himself off, sending flashing droplets flying trough the air.  He rinsed the blood off his hands, wincing slightly, wiping his hands dry on his flannel pajama pants.    

Meanwhile, Kiu had moved out into his bedroom, whining and scratching at the large, heavy oak door to the convent hallway.  Sighing deeply, he grabbed a t-shirt to cover his bare chest in case he ran into any of the sisters, and moved to let Kiu out.  Since he had reached his adolescent growth spurts, the nuns had been much stricter about his movements through the restricted areas of the sisterhood.  This was especially true considering that his last growth spurt had left him taller than every sister except Sister Augustine, and he was likely to scare a sister to an early grave if he came upon one in the night.

Kiu's whines became more urgent, and Takeru sighed exasperatedly.  "I'm coming, I'm coming… you pee more than the Sisters pray, I swear…"  

Stuffing his feet into his battered brown boots, he hauled the exuberant Kiu back with one hand so he had room to open the door with the other.  The door, like all convent doors, swung silent on its well-oiled hinges, and the eager dog bounded into the hallway.  To Takeru's dismay, however, she bounded to the left, away from the exit.  With a shiver of apprehension, Takeru followed her, hissing quietly at her to turn around, towards the chapel.  The one place he would never visit at night, alone.  Not even now, in the summer, when the Alaskan sun shone down almost all night, and there was no darkness.  Kiu willfully trotted down the stairs, either ignorant of her owner's discomfort, or more likely, ignoring it.  

Takeru followed her slowly, trying to overcome his fear with reason.  He had no reason to be afraid of the chapel.  It was a place of meditation and devotion, and _nothing more._  There was no reason why he couldn't convert to Christianity like the Sisters wanted.  

Except for one reason, that is.  

And Kiu was sitting directly beneath it… the statue of the Archangel Michael, sword drawn, wings unfurled, Holy ire written into every careful incision the sculptor had made.  The statue that brought images of horror to Takeru every time he saw it, images of blood, feathers, and golden light.  The Angel pushing him into the golden light… the same golden light which was keeping him from everything he'd lost, everything he'd never have again.

Family...

Love…

Peace…

Hope.

Kiu was sitting beneath it, her tail wagging and her posture clearly very proud.  It was her 'found' pose.  Takeru smiled a little as he saw it… Kiu had always been very good at finding things, although her breed wasn't especially known for tracking.  Like all dogs, her sense of smell was acute, as was her intelligence.  If you told her what to find, and she was familiar with the object, she'd find it… Takeru made it a game when he'd taught it to her, a fun way for a lonely boy to pass the winter hours in a building full of busy adults.  He'd hide one of her toys somewhere around the building, and then tell her, "Find bone!" or "Find socks!" and off she'd go, always ready to be pet and praised when she eventually succeeded.  When she found the object, she'd sit at attention in front of it until he came, to signify that she'd found it, but like any self-respecting trained dog, was waiting for her master's command before 'killing' it.

She had certainly 'found' something, and she whined a little to get his attention.  

Carefully ignoring the looming statue, Takeru stooped down besides the dog, patting her absently.  "What is it, girl?  Did Timmy fall down into the old well?  Again?"

His chuckle faded as he saw what she'd found, glistening slightly in the iridescent light cast by the arctic sun through the stained glass windows.  He stood slowly, standing over it and trying to gather his scattered thoughts into some semblance of coherence. 

Because… he'd seen it before, but it had been shaped differently, then.  More square, and it had been much smaller… yes, much smaller, but the color of the trim was still right… pale green.  It was streamlined, now, with a larger screen.  It looked almost like one of those palm pilots the tourists carried. 

Takeru reached towards it, his hand hesitating in the air, as if time and fate and all the world and paused to focus all its attention on the decision of a fifteen year old boy who would decide that fate of them all.  The boy's hand hesitated in the air, because he knew he had seen the object before…

And the memories were those of pain, blood, darkness, and golden light.  

AN: Please keep up the reviews!!  Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer:  I don't own Digimon, you silly rabbit.

AN:  Thanks so much for all the reviews. As you'll see in this chapter, we will see much of what happened in season one in flashbacks.  Also, to the concerned reader who asked, the reason why it was sunny at night in chapter seven was because TK's in Alaska and it's summer, which means the sun only sets for a very, very short time. Also, I haven't said this before, but on the subject of Alaska, I made up the town (St. Joseph's) and convent to suit my purposes, but all facts about Alaska are as true as research can make them.  Also, the Inuit is correct as well, although I may have made some errors in usage, for which I apologize.  The reason he's at a convent, other than convenient symbolism, is that I attend a Catholic college with two convents on campus, and I feel you should always try to write what you know.  This fic, however, is not specifically Christian in nature, although it does have those overtones.  The reason the Digimon were already in rookie form when the destined arrived, way back in chapters five and six, is because I felt if Patamon had been MagnaAngemon already, than the other deserved an upgrade too.  It was only fair, right?

Please keep up the reviews, they are immensely helpful and informative.  As you can see, questions are accepted and encouraged!

_You have your work, and nothing more,_

_You are possessed, what is your demon?_

_You've never been this way before, _

_You've lost the fire you built your dream on._

_There's something strange, there's something wrong,_

_I see a change_

_It's like when love dies… _

_I who have known you for so long, _

_I see the pain in your eyes…_

_                                    "His Work and Nothing More"_

_                                                Jekyll &Hyde_

The soft notes of the harmonica floated into the apartment through the wide-open balcony doors, carried in the by the warm evening breeze.  The sounds of the city were muted by the haze of the evening after the oppressive heat of the summer day.  The waves of heat that had been rising off the blacktop had given way to a gentle lilac dusk, the lower sky streaked with electric orange, scarlet, and illuminated blue, silhouetting the tall buildings of Tokyo's high rise districts. Above Yamato the sky was tinted violet and navy, and dotted with cool silver stars and a pale moon made slightly fuzzy by the hazy warmth of the atmosphere.  

Below him, people were taking advantage of the beautiful night, walking in families and pairs, heading towards parks and restaurants, their mingled voices and laughter barely reaching him over the ever-present hum of the city.  In the distance, a siren wailed, and somewhere nearby, someone was playing a violin, probably in the park, which flourished in its natural verdant glory directly across the street from Yamato's apartment.  

A note strangled flatly as Matt's eyes glanced over the Odaiba Park, pausing ever-so-briefly on the playground before darting away.  Matt steadied himself and picked up the tune again, laying the groundwork of his new song on his harmonica before switching to his guitar.  The guitar was propped in the chair next to him, abandoned earlier that evening in favor of the faithful silver instrument the meant so much to Matt.  The soft melody floated down to the street below, where some paused in their walking to listen to the lonely sound, before moving on with friends and loved ones.  

Behind Matt, another audience sat silently, listening to the melancholy sounds of his partner.  To say that Gabumon was worried about his partner was a vast understatement, but like so many problems of the heart, this one had been subtle and unnoticeable until it was too late to stop the snowballing of the blonde's depression.  Sitting in the cool darkness of the air-conditioned apartment, the digimon sat and pondered how to bring Matt's out of this bleak hole that seemed to have encompassed him.  It was almost like that time in the cave, when Matt had been held by that shadow… but the Crest of Hope had saved them then, not by activating but by reminding the boy of what he had to gain by fighting on.  Gabumon had only had to mention the Crest then to make the trick work, but now…

The canine digimon glanced towards Matt's bedroom, where he knew two Crests were sitting dormant and gathering dust, as they had for far too long.  

Two years ago…

Matt had stormed through the apartment door, slamming it so hard the hardwood floor beneath Gabumon's paws had trembled.  The digimon gulped slightly at the look on his partner's face, which was darker than he had ever seen it, even when they had been fighting the Dark Masters.  It had been two months since the Digimon Emperor had begun his rampage across the picturesque face of the Digital world they had all fought so long and hard to save, and the inability of the older children to help was wearing hard on them all.  However, this kind of anger was way over the top, even for that.  The teenager looked angry in a way Gabumon had only seen once before, on Spiral Mountain.  But there had been good reason, then…

Shaking himself from those dark thoughts that did Matt no good, Gabumon followed his partner's stomped and stormy path into his bedroom, where he had to duck when two small metal objects slammed into the wall beside his head.  The digimon's eyes grew as wide as saucers when he turned his head to see what had been thrown.

The Crests of Hope and Friendship, their chains hopelessly tangled, had made a fairly respectable dent in the drywall before landing, darkened and dormant, on the immaculately kept floor.   

In the immortal words of Tai when he had seen Apocalymon, this was a real 'oh, shit!' moment.  As in, the only thing Gabumon seemed to be able to think at the moment was "OH SHIT!!"

He picked the Crests up, attempting to untangle the chains, but giving up after realizing quickly that his furry fingers were not optimally designed for the task.  He gave a mighty jump, landing on the bed next to Matt, who was sitting on the bed staring at his feet as though they held all the wisdom of the ages.  He watched his partner for a long moment, wishing they had more heart to heart talks, so he wouldn't be so helpless when Matt so obviously needed him.  Deciding on the innocently cheerful act he had cultivated after hearing many tales of Matt's long missing younger brother, he smiled in as sunny a manner he could without his fangs crossing the line into menacing.  It was a difficult balance to maintain, but long practice had made the digimon into an expert at counterfeiting nauseatingly hopeful, helpful expressions.  

"Is something the matter, Matt?"

Silence.

Gabumon blinked, Matt had never outright ignored him before.  Something was seriously wrong here.

"Matt… Matt?  We need to talk, Matt!  Are you sick?"

As if in reply, the doorbell rang.  Matt groaned, flopping down on his bed and rolling over to face the wall.  Gabumon stared at him in shock as the bell rang again, whomever was out there leaning on it this time.  

"Ummm… I'll get it, then."

With a final glance at his best friend, who was curled into a fetal position on the dark blue coverlet, Gabumon padded out through the apartment, stopping just before the door, and pushing a chair to it so he could see out the high peep-hole as he had seen Matt do many times.  He blinked slightly until the curved and magnified world in the tiny hole came into focus.

On the other side of the door stood Sora and Tai, handfast.

In that moment, everything became clear to Gabumon.  He had never really understood what went on between the human teenagers he knew, but he understood what Matt had wanted for as long as he had known him, and he understood what he now saw through the tiny hole in a door.  

Jumping off the chair, Gabumon went straight back to Matt's room, knowing now what he needed to do.  Picking up the Crests from their place on the coverlet, he opened a drawer only he and Matt ever opened, which was empty except for a few objects.  Gabumon set the dim objects beside a battered silver harmonica. 

Shutting the drawer quietly, he jumped back up on the bed, climbing carefully over his partner and insinuating himself into the tightly curled arms.  After a moment, Matt responded, clutching the soft digimon like a teddy bear and letting the tears fall silently, allowing the one person he had left in the world who really understood him to share his pain for a little while, at least.  

The two remained prone in a circle of misery and sympathy as the doorbell continued to ring, almost desperately, into the silent apartment.  

But that had been two years ago, and Gabumon wasn't sure what comfort he could now offer the boy, now a young man, really, who had suffered beyond what a hug could heal.  So he sat and watched the boy as the darkness of night fell around them both and the sounds of the harmonica became more and more lonely.

Soon Matt would be off to college, he knew, someplace he couldn't go, at the end of the summer, and Gabumon felt the pressure of time, knowing that for better or worse, something had to change before this already sweltering season ended.

Hope and despair ignore one another's cries.

_Hope likes justification, but can do without.  _

_                                                            Mason Cooley_

Gennai had said no, again.  

Patamon had asked him a favor once before, asked permission really, and then, like now, he had been refused.  

Then, like now, he hadn't listened to the elder's admonishments.  

On Gennai's advice, he had waited.  For a full decade, he had waited.  The Crest will work this out, Gennai said.  Wait for the Crest to finish its work.  Trust me, he said.

Not anymore.  Patamon was finished waiting.  His Chosen was in pain again, it was very clear this time, as though somehow TK had reopened some sort of link between them.  

He had the Digivice, a D3, now, he supposed.  Hope and Light had D3's, they were the Crests chosen to move forward into the second group of children.  Somehow TK had found it, and the spiritual space between the partners had shrunk dramatically.  His spirit was close, and he was ready.

Wait for a sign, Gennai said.

This was his sign.  The tiny digimon was fed up, his spirit brimming with frustration and disillusionment.  Like any Light digimon, especially as an Angel type, Patamon had instinctively respected Gennai, instinctively trusted and sought out his wisdom.  

But it didn't seem like wisdom anymore.  If their bond had suddenly strengthened anew, then so too had Patamon's sense of urgency.  He had waited, the last time, until he was so sure that TK was dying that he could no longer help himself to withstand the summons.  He had almost been too late, and though he had saved the boy, he knew the he had failed him.

He had to failed to protect his Chosen Child, there was no greater shame for a digimon, for an Angel digimon to whom protection was an instinct as old as time itself.  He had failed TK because he had listened to Gennai and waited for a sign.  When the sign had finally come, it had been one of disaster.

Patamon refused to make that mistake again.  

Which meant, unfortunately, that all instinct and precedent must be set aside.  Gennai was wrong; his advice could mean TK's life.  Patamon could not gamble again with his Chosen's life.  It was time set out on his own, to go into the human world and to find TK himself.

And so he found himself flying with desperate speed through the darkened forest of the digital world, racing time and the dawn towards the one Digimon he knew could open a gate between the worlds without Gennai detecting it.  He had to get there while it was still night, while he was sure the digimon would be alone.  The trees loomed in the darkness around him, growing gnarled and fearsome as he entered a dark spire area, but Patamon ignored their gloomy menace.  He urged himself still faster, knowing he could not afford to stop and fight any possessed digimon, that time was slipping past him even as the stars overhead, in streaks of silver in the darkness.  Trees and leaves and stars and clouds blurred together into and endless chain, as his thoughts reduced to a faint sense of pain and fear from TK and his own feelings of exhaustion and desperation.  _Faster, faster, I can't collapse now, faster, a little further, faster, faster, please!_

Suddenly, the forest seemed to break open around him, and in a sudden change of terrain characteristic of the digital world, endless white dunes spread out beneath him, and floating just above the sea of sand, more menacing then ever in the dark, was his goal. 

The flying fortress of the Digimon Emperor.  

 As Patamon had hoped, security was so minimal as to be non-existent in a dark spire area, and the flying digimon had no problem gaining access to the darkened corridors of the ship's interior.  He flew swiftly towards what he prayed was the center and the control room, not allowing himself to pause long enough to reconsider.  Then just as suddenly as the forest earlier, the corridors opened up into a large room with a tremendous bank of screens along one long wall, a computer console, and a single chair.  The very heart of the dark Empire, but for some reason it didn't feel Evil as Spiral Mountain had to the Vaccine Digimon, it just felt cold, like fear and loss.

And, curled up in a pale green ball on the single chair, was the very digimon Patamon had hoped to find, the digimon he had been watching secretly for a while now.  The reluctant lackey, the only digimon on the Dark army that wore no dark spiral, no dark ring, Wormon.  

Sensing his presence, the insect digimon jerked awake, his eyes finding Patamon quickly in the dim light of the room.  Patamon held his breath, ready to dodge if he had to, praying Wormon would hear him out, and beginning to feel like this had been a bad idea.

However, the other digimon merely uncurled himself, eyeing Patamon speculatively.  Finally, he spoke, his tone one of confusion and suspicion, but not of anger.

"What are _you _doing _here?" _

Patamon hesitated a moment, deciding to take the question at face value.  "I—I'm Patamon—"

"I know who you are.  You're the Protector of the Child of Hope, the lost Chosen.  You defeated Devimon.  I know _who_ you are.  So _why_ are you here, in the heart of evil?"

Patamon smirked slightly at the description of him, wondering exactly how fast and far rumors spread in the Digital World.  "There's no evil here.  I've watched you, and we both know the Emperor is many things, but Evil, truly _Evil_, isn't one of them.  I need your help. I think we can help each other."  Patamon threw in most of the speech he had been rehearsing to himself, hoping he hadn't sounded too rushed.  

Wormon arched an eyebrow at him, torn between loyalty to Ken and the knowledge that he ought to have attacked this intruder, and a sense that Patamon was right, and they could indeed help each other.  Taking a cue from his partner, he decided to play it cool.  

"I'm listening," he said, his voice, usually so pleading around Ken, now smoothly revealing nothing.  

"I need to get to the human world, I need you to open a gate for me.  I want to go find TK—the Child of Hope."

Patamon fell silent, laying everything on the line, waiting for the insect to respond.  He didn't have to wait long.

"Why aren't you asking Gennai to do this?  Or one of your friends' partners?"  Wormon paused a moment, then wisely answered his own question.  "You don't want Gennai to know."

Patamon met his eyes squarely, saying nothing.  Wormon thought for a long moment before continuing.  "How do you think this will be helping me?"

Patamon's reply was swift and convincing.  "If I can find TK, this could all end.  I promise you I'll protect Ken when we eventually defeat him.  I'm sure we could heal him, but at this point, the Destined will kill him as soon as they get the chance.  You know they will.  TK is your only chance of Ken surviving this war."  Patamon flew closer, pinning Wormon in place with his desperate gaze.  "This is the only way to save both our partners.  This is what's best for Ken."

Wormon's eyes widened at the use of Ken's name.  Patamon nodded seriously, not breaking his gaze.  "I've been paying attention for a long time.  I've been waiting for a long time, just as you have.  It's time, Wormon.  Help me finish this."

Wormon held the stare, thinking for a long moment about what would happen if Ken found out that he was working behind his back.  However, Patamon was right, this was best for Ken.  Deciding suddenly, he hopped from the chair to the console, beginning the difficult process of working the keyboard with his tiny appendages.  He spoke as he worked.

"There's a program that Ken designed that allows me to go through the portals with out his digivice, into his bedroom.  He—he does such kind things, sometimes.  I—you'll go through into his room, but he'll have already gotten up and gone to morning soccer practice by now.  He likes to practice a little before the rest of the team arrives.  You can probably get out the window, it should be open, but the shade will be down, because Ken likes it dark."

Patamon was silent as Wormon instructed him, feeling slightly jealous of the familiarity between Ken and Wormon, even if the bond was somewhat warped.  He had never gotten to know TK that well, but he had never felt so cheated about it until now.  The gate opened, and through it Patamon could see a darkened room.

Wormon paused before activating the transfer.  "You realize you won't be able to come back this way.  Ken would kill you if he caught you."

Patamon nodded with determination, giving his unlikely ally a grim smile.  "Either I'm coming back with TK, or I'm not coming back."

It was not a boast, or a fearful admission, but merely a statement of fact.  Wormon nodded with respect, recognizing that Patamon had crossed a line within himself and had reached a place where there was success or nothing at all.  For the courageous little digimon, failure equaled death.

And with him through the portal he would take the last hope of the digital world, to attempt to bring back a hope that should never have been lost.

Pressing the buttons, Wormon watched Patamon dissolve into data and disappear into the gate.  

"Good luck."  He whispered, as the light slowly faded, leaving him in the darkness with his feeble hopes.

_Somehow I have to get to the place where my journey started, _

_Find the course I charted, when I first departed._

_Somehow I have to hang on to the vision that first inspired me,_

_To the hope that fired me when the world admired me!_

_I'll find a way back to the higher ground and see the view I knew before,_

_I'll search the world until the answer's found and then success will pound_

_Upon my door!_

_Somehow I've got to rebuild all the dreams that winds have scattered,_

_From what fate has shattered, I'll retrieve what mattered!_

_Somehow I've got to go on till the evil has been defeated,_

_Till my work's completed, I will not be cheated._

_God, You must help me carry on when it seems all hope is gone…_

_                                                            "No One Must Ever Know"_

_                                                                        Jekyll & Hyde_

After about fifteen minutes of attempting to figure out how to raise the blinds, which were a bit of a foreign concept to Patamon, he finally got them raised enough to stick his head cautiously out the window…  

And come face to face with more humans than he ever could have imagined existed.  Settling onto the sill, he groaned, his ears drooping.  People of every shape, size, and description were hurrying to and fro beneath the window, hundreds and hundreds of them.  His eyes darted from face to face, but he realized with despair that he wasn't even sure what he was looking for.  He knew from experience watching the other Chosen that humans changed a lot over time, especially children.  And he hadn't seen TK in twelve years.  

He was never going to find him in this world of so many people, and now he was stranded in this world, without any knowledge of how it worked or who could help him.

Watching the people for a long moment, he sighed to himself.  "I am an idiot."  

With that depreciating thought, he set off into the world, sticking to the shadows as he searched for a face he knew.  Though it was early, the streets were packed with commuters, and the streets were roaring with traffic.  The sights and noises were overwhelming to the little digimon as he darted in and out of the early sunlight, looking up at the clear, fresh morning sky that was the only thing he could see that bore even a passing resemblance to the Digital World.  

His stomach made a fierce noise as he passed a place that smelled like food, and then, like a miracle, he turned a corner and saw something familiar.  

Trees, many, many trees, gathered behind a wire fence.  A park, he realized, remembering what he had heard the other Digimon say about the human world.  It would be a good place to hide, at least, until he could come up with a better plan.  He _really _needed to come up with a better plan.

An hour later, he had settled in a tree of his liking, where he could see the people but they couldn't see him, but unfortunately, a better plan had not yet arrived.  He hadn't given up hope though, because teenagers in outfits he recognized had begun to pass under his tree.  Uniforms, he remembered.  TK's brother wore one just like them. 

Suddenly, like the answer to his prayers, another girl in uniform passed beneath his tree.  It was Kamiya Hikari, the Child of Light, and unless he was misinterpreting the movement in her backpack, Gatomon was there was well.

Perfect!!

AN:  You know what else is perfect?  Writing a review!!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer:  No own, no money, no sue.

AN:  Wow, thanks for the extremely introspective and informative reviews.  To answer a few questions, the younger kids are around fifteen, and the older kids are around eighteen.  They still have their Crests, but they're kind of crippled by the poor morale of the group, and so are less powerful than the new kids.  Time was aligned in the digital world early on by a program created by Izzy and Gennai, which is mentioned in this chapter.  There will be no Jogress or DNA evolving, because, well, have you seen what those things look like?  Besides which, I really don't understand the entire concept behind that, and this fic is complicated enough already.  Ummm… what else… the crest of Hope has foiled all attempts by the sisters to find Takeru's family (an example of this is given in one of the earlier chapters, when Hashiba tries to find TK on the computer), and his temporary last name, which hasn't yet been mentioned, is St. Joseph, after the convent he lives in.  Everything else is covered in this chapter, or will be shortly, I think.  

Please keep up the reviews, as you can see, they really make me think about my work.

_While trucking down the road of life,_

_Although all hope seems gone…_

_I just move on…I move on._

_When I can't find a single star_

_To hang my wish upon, _

_I just move on… I move on._

_So as we play in life's ballet,_

_We're not the dieing swans…_

_So there's no doubt_

_We're well cut out _

_To run life's marathon!_

_We just move on, we move on!_

_                                    "I Move On"_

_                                                Chicago_

Sora smiled at Kari as she entered the apartment, her uniform rumpled and limp from the long, hot walk home through the broiling city.  The younger girl stood in the doorway for a long moment, allowing the glorious miracle that was air-conditioning to wash over.  She dropped her obviously overloaded book bag to the floor with an unceremonious thump, and both girls jumped when a disgruntled yowl came from within.

Sora hid a laugh behind her hand as Kari gasped.  "Oh!  Gatomon!  I'm so sorry, I forgot you were in there!"

The feline digimon leapt out with an extremely irritated flick of her tail, straightening her gloves with great dignity.  "It was hotter in that bag than it is outside!  I though I was going to cook to death in there!"

The partners turned in surprise as the sound of merry laughter burst from the couch, as Sora lost her battle of will to keep it restrained.  The auburn haired young woman was sitting on the couch, a textbook open on her lap, reading in the fresh, clear diffused sunlight that filled the apartment from the large glass balcony doors.  Despite the chilly temperature in the apartment, she was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, with her hair bound up in a messy bun to keep her neck cool.  She smiled at the straggly, heat worn pair who were still disheveled and red faced from their trek through the blazing streets.  "The air-conditioning in my building is broken, so Tai said I could study here while he's at practice.  I hope you don't mind some company."

Kari swiftly zipped her book bag, nudging Gatomon as she shouldered it.  'Oh, no, it's no problem.  We were just going to take a nap," she smiled innocently, "Long day, you know?  When Tai comes home, tell him if he knocks on my door he dies."

Sora smiled understandingly, turning back to her text.  "Say no more, I'll take care of it."

Kari and Gatomon smiled at each other as they hurried to the girl's room at the back of the apartment, closing the door quickly behind them.  Kari ripped the bag open once more, allowing a sweaty and exhausted Patamon to tumble out.  He sat on the cool floor for a long moment, his ears drooping as he panted.

"Gatomon was right, it was killer in there!  Whose idea was it for both of us to get in there?"

Kari tossed the now empty bag in the general direction of her closet, her uniform jacket and knee socks swiftly following it.  

"It wasn't a parade for me, either.  You two aren't exactly light."  To emphasize her point, she stretched her back thoroughly, sighing as the tensions of the day slowly eased away.  She hopped up onto her bed, making herself comfortable, before turning serious brown eyes to the digimon before her.  

"Okay, Patamon… how about you take this from the beginning?"

The little digimon shifted slightly, gathering his thoughts.  "Well, this all begins twelve years ago, when I rescued TK from Spiral Mountain.  I had, ummm, _acquired _his digivice and tag from Gennai, and had gone to find his crest myself.  He had been in enough pain and danger that I was able to digivolve, but after I defeated Devimon I was about to devolve, and I knew the rest of the Dark Masters would be on their way, so I pushed him into the Gate of Destiny to save him.  It should have brought him here, to his destiny.  I don't know why it didn't, unless his destiny changed when the Dark Masters kidnapped him.  It wasn't until your brother and the others arrived in the Digital World that I realized that he hadn't gotten home, and from there you know what happened.  I—I wish I'd chosen some other way… any other way, to save him…"

Patamon trailed off, his voice heavy with guilt, as Kari and Gatomon tried to piece together what had happened, tactfully giving the flying digimon a moment to collect himself.  Gatomon was nodding thoughtfully, her blue eyes dark with sympathy.  She knew what it was like to be separated from your chosen child, to be used by someone you trusted, to lose a friend.   She knew all too well.

"So that was you I sent off of Spiral Mountain.  That was TK crying all that time…" she trailed off, trying to contain a guilty sense of relief that it had been Hope, and not Light, that had been taken all those years ago.  Kari was silent, her face pale, biting her lip as she considered the implications of what was happening.  

"The Dark Masters had TK when he was _three…_they kidnapped him and that's why the police never found anything.  They must have opened a portal and snatched him right off the street.  I remember the day it happened… Good God, they took him because they wanted us to have no Hope!  But the _Crest_ of Hope works!  I've seen it work…" she trailed off, her eyes focused on nothing except the puzzle inside her mind.  "That's what Gennai said… it's keeping us from finding him.  It must be blocking the police and the government from making the connection between wherever he is now, and here.  It keeps me from really talking to him in my dreams; it blocks us whenever we start to talk about names or places.  How can we get around it to find him?"

Patamon looked up, a strange look in his eyes.  "You talk to him in your dreams?"

Kari had the grace to blush, her eyes casting downward.  "Yes… he saved me from the dark, and now the light separates us… but it is him, he looks a great deal like Ishida-san.  Gennai said the connection had something to do with Hope and Light being the pillars of the digital world, but I'm not sure I know what he meant by that."

"Maybe it has something to do with us both having Angels as our evolutions?"  Patamon supplied helpfully, filing away another guilty flare of jealousy that someone had more contact with TK than he had.  Somehow, though, he wasn't surprised that Kari was connected to TK in some way. He'd felt it from her in the past, when he'd been secretly trailing the destined, mostly her, for years.  She exuded the same sort of energy that TK had, different from all the other destined, but very similar to Hope.  He wasn't sure exactly what the connection was, or if the other digimon could feel it, but it was as plain as day to him.  

Kari, her hand on her Crest, shook her head, her eyes distant.  "That's part of it, but… it seems like there should be more.  There's a deeper connection, between Hope and Light and between them and the digital world.  Like, when Gennai and Izzy had to make all those powerful computer programs to realign the digital world to real time, and to maintain the balance until the last Crest bearer could be found, I could feel the change.  It was subtle, but I noticed and nobody else did.  At the time, I though it was just relief that time had been fixed so I wouldn't have to explain to Mom and Dad why we had aged three years in a few days.  But recently, it seems like more… like the balance is slowly deteriorating despite Izzy's programs.  And even though we still have our Crests, they don't really do much anymore, especially since the Emperor blocked the old Digivices so the older kids can't digivolve."

Gatomon spoke up this time, her voice thoughtful.  "Yes, but do you get power from your Crests, or do your Crests help utilize the power that's inherently yours? You, especially, Kari, seem to power your Crest, not the other way around.  With their Digivices useless now, the older kids are getting run down and discouraged.  Especially with two Crests missing in action."

Patamon looked startled.  "Two?"

Kari nodded bleakly, exchanging a dark look with her partner.  "Yes, two.  Hope, and Friendship.  TK's brother isn't exactly friendly… ever since TK's been missing, and then, Sora… damn it!  We need Hope so badly!  The Dark Masters seemed pretty stupid sometimes, but they really thought this one out.  The repercussions…" she trailed off, her grip on her delicate Crest tightening until her knuckles turned pale.

A grim look came over the girl's bright features, and a faint pink glow came from within the small, tightly clenched fist.  "We have to change it.  We can't change the past, but we certainly can't sit and wait for something to happen.  You've been waiting too long for that, Patamon.  This ends now, today."

Gatomon grinned fiercely, shining with pride for her tremendously strong partner who so rarely showed her true colors.  Patamon smiled gratefully, determination written in his features.  Blue eyes shining, he waited eagerly for the headstrong young girl to continue.

"So, how will we find him?  If the Crest of Hope is hiding him, how will we beat it?"

Kari smiled, loosening her fist so she could look down at the faint aura of her Crest.  "We can't beat Hope.  That's the point of Hope, isn't it?  That it can't lose or fall?  So if you can't beat it, use it!"

She grinned at the dumbfounded look the two digimon gave her as she hopped off the bed and behind her closet door to change her uniform into street clothes.  Gatomon and Patamon exchanged a look of confusion, easily communicating in gestures as if they had been friends for years.  Patamon shrugged at the female digimon, glancing back at Kari, who was currently running a brush through her hair.

"Don't look at me," the flying digimon muttered.  "She's _your_ partner."

Gatomon narrowed her eyes at him in mock annoyance, before duly turning to her Chosen, adopting her signature cool sarcasm.  "Well, Kari?  Are you going to explain, or are we playing charades and the answer has something to do with personal hygiene?"

Kari gave her digimon a patronizing look, ignoring the sarcasm.  "I meant exactly what I said.  Even with the Crest of Light we can't beat the Crest of Hope, especially since it's protecting its bearer.  So, if Hope and Light are as connected as everyone seems to think, then why can't I use it to find TK?"

Now both digimon were speechless, staring at the girl with their mouths hanging.  Patamon spluttered slightly, when he'd thought they were going to do something it certainly hadn't been this.  "But—but you can't use someone else's Crest!  Ummm… can you?"

He glanced at Gatomon, who shrugged.  She certainly didn't know.  Kari sighed, sitting on the bed between the two digimon.  "I'm not going to use it to try to make you digivolve or anything.  I just thought, if I'm wearing it when I dream of TK, maybe I can break down the wall between us.  Just maybe, if I have the Crest, it will see that we only want to help TK, and all of us, and it will let us find him."

Gatomon still looked troubled.  "But Kari, Yamato has the Crest of Hope.  You're Tai's younger sister.  You'll be lucky if he opens the door for you, let alone _gives you_ his brother's crest!"

Kari grabbed her backpack from the corner, emptying it quickly.  "I really wasn't planning on asking him, Gato.  In fact," she said, dropping the backpack onto the bed where she'd been sitting and grabbing her phone, she smirked as she hit a number on the speed dial.  "It will be best for all involved if he's not home at all."

"How will you find out when he's not home?  Stalk him until you know his routine?"  Gatomon really, really didn't like the sound of this, but obediently fell silent when Kari shushed her. 

The two digimon, after moving away from the despised bag they'd spent the afternoon in, watched her curiously.  

After a moment, Kari began to speak into the phone, honey practically dripping from her words.  "Hi Davis!  Yeah, it's REALLY great to talk to you, too!  Yeah… uh-huh… actually, I really need to speak to Jun… …OH!  Just girl stuff…  …oh, she's not?  That's too bad… she's at Ishida-san's band practice… until five… oh, no, no, don't worry about a message; I'll just catch her later.  Thanks sooo much.  Bye Davis!"

Hanging up the phone with a satisfied click, the teenager smiled at the two.  "Great!  He's not home, thank God Jun's a stalker."

Gatomon folded her arms over her chest, fixing her destined with a stern look.  "You should talk.  Let me get this straight… we're going to break into the Ishida apartment, and heaven help us if he catches us there because if he doesn't kill us Tai certainly will, and then we're going to STEAL the Crest of Hope, even though we don't know where it is?  You realize how illegal this is, of course."

Kari simply continued to grin at the digimon, motioning them to jump into the backpack, which they reluctantly did.  "It is _very _illegal, Gato… IF we get _caught_."  With those words, she zipped the bag closed, her last view of its interior being the dumbfounded faces of it's occupants.

Swinging the now heavy bag carefully onto her shoulders, she smirked in satisfaction.  "That should keep them quiet for awhile."

You tell me you want a woman who 

_Is simple as a flower…_

_Well if you want me to act like that,_

_You'd better pay me by the hour…_

_Don't want to travel in the danger zone?_

_Take another number!_

_Don't want a lover who can hold her own?_

_Baby, step aside if you don't want to ride,_

_Because…_

_Wild women do, and they don't regret it…_

_                                                            "Wild Women Do"_

_                                                                        Natalie Cole_

Kari stood behind the building the Ishidas lived in, looking around for a back door.  It was a little bit cooler in the shade behind the building, but her hair and clothes were still stuck to her, sweat and general grunge from crossing the city making her feel disgusting.  Considering how she looked, she couldn't blame the doorman for not letting her in.  He'd probably thought she was some crazed fan-girl trying to steal Ishida-san's underwear.  

Her backpack shifted slightly and through it a muffled voice, Gatomon's, spoke in an annoyed tone.  "We can't get in… we'll have to try another way.  Can we go home now?"

The last part was delivered in a petulant whine, but Kari, though sympathetic, ignored her partner's discomfort.  "No way, guys.  I'm not giving up yet, not while I know he's out of the apartment."

"Yes, but what about his father?"

Kari didn't dignify that ridiculous question with an answer, instead turning her attention to two fire escapes on the building.  She considered the option carefully, knowing full well that if she got arrested her parents would skin her alive and then let Tai have the leftovers to punish her for doing something so dangerous, but still…  

Making her decision, she began to climb the escape for the front apartments, thanking God she hadn't worn her uniform, which included a skirt and less than sensible shoes.  Kari was much like Sora in her opinion that the only sensible shoes were sneakers.  She never could understand how Mimi and lately Yolei could walk in their platforms, and not get nosebleeds from the extra altitude.  Not that she'd seen much of Mimi since she'd moved to New York, but she'd known her for years and never once seen her in sneakers, so it was a safe assumption that she hadn't changed much.  

Kari gulped slightly as she looked down at her sneakers, and past them down to the ground far below.  _My God…I'm thinking about shoes while scaling the side of a seventy story building in an attempt to break into the apartment of someone who would probably run my brother down if he saw him on the street.  What is WRONG with me?_

If only the others could see their little Angel of Light now… 

"Ummm…. Kari?  What's going on out there?"

Kari hesitated slightly, panting as sweat dripped off her, falling to the distant ground below, before answering Patamon.  "I—I'm climbing the fire escape."

"WHAT!?!?"

"What's a fire escape?"

"Something she shouldn't be climbing!!!  If Tai finds out I let her do this, he'll make a fuzzy white doormat out of me!"

If she'd had the breath, she would have laughed at Gatomon's ire and Patamon's innocent question… as it was, she spotted what she was looking for.  "Here we are. And thankfully, I don't think anyone spotted us!"

"What are you going to do now?  Break the window with your bare hands, perhaps?"

"Nothing so gauche, Gato… I'm disappointed that you, of all people, underestimated me.  Watch this."

Kari knocked on the window, ignoring Gatomon's muttering about not being able to see anything because she was stuffed in a bag.  She knocked again, louder.

"Is she knocking?!?"

"It—it sounds like it."

"How is she even sure this is the right apartment?"

Kari answered before Patamon could, her voice wry.  "Well, Gatomon, how many people in this building have Gabumons sleeping in their back bedrooms?"

"…"

"Exactly." Kari said, as Gabumon opened the window, having finally been roused by her insistent knocking.  His fur was rumpled from sleep, and he was looking at her like he wasn't sure if he was awake yet, or still dreaming.

"Hikari?  What are you doing here?"

Kari smiled sweetly, as if she climbed skyscrapers and knocked on people's rear windows every day.  "May I come in for a moment, Gabumon?  I really need a favor from you."  

She gave him her best Child of Light look of infinite innocent sweetness, which worked on almost all the digimon she knew and every single one of the humans she knew.  He caved quickly, moving so she could climb in the window, and shut it behind her.

She fanned herself for a moment, looking around at the immaculately neat bedroom; complete with a perfectly made bed she was sure she could have bounced a coin on.  Gabumon let her cool off for a long moment, waiting patiently for her to explain herself.

Kneeling down to his level, she opened her bag and let Gatomon hop out, followed quickly by Patamon.  Gabumon did a double take when the second digimon appeared, staring at the stranger.  Patamon smiled hesitantly, remaining silent in the presence of his Chosen's brother's digimon, a creature he should have known well, but as fate had decreed, was instead a stranger.

"Gabumon, this is Patamon, TK's digimon.  He's part of the reason I'm here."

Kari smiled softly as realization and respect dawned on the canine face.  She continued, "I'm actually surprised you guys didn't know him, or mention him before."

At this, all three of the digimon looked away from her, not making eye contact with each other.  Gatomon put a paw on her arm, her eyes gentle.  

"A digimon losing his partner isn't something discussed between digimon, ever… it just isn't discussed.  We—we did hear about a Patamon defeating Devimon, but there are a lot of Patamon out there, and well, it's not something you'd ever ask about."

Patamon stared at the floor, carefully not looking at the girl, whose breath caught as she realized what she said.  Reaching out, she put her finger on his tiny furred chin, tilting his face up to look directly into the suspiciously moist eyes.  Her voice was soft, but firm, and hearing it, the digimon present understood why she was the inspiration of the digital world.

"I promise you, Patamon, we will find him.  No matter what, I will make this happen for you."

A tremulous smile broke out on the rookie's face, and he blinked away his tears.  She smiled at him, her light shining in her features, and patted his head slightly before letting him go.  "Now, Gabumon, this is where you come in.  We need your help."   

Gabumon gaped at her, "Me?  How can I help?"

Kari's smile went from sweet to beseeching in flash.  "We need the Crest of Hope."

The furry digimon choked, his eyes going round.  "Oh, but I can't… Matt would, he'd…"

"Would he even notice, Gabumon?  When was the last time he wore it?  Besides, doesn't it by all rights belong to Patamon, until it can be returned to TK?"

Gabumon wavered, biting his lip hesitantly.  "Gennai gave it to Matt…"

His objecting sounded weak, even to him, and Kari pressed her attack, sensing his indecision.  "Isn't finding TK what's best for Ishida-san?"

Dropping his head, Gabumon nodded slowly, defeated.  "It's in his underwear drawer," he muttered, gesturing lamely towards the bureau.  He jumped slightly when Kari threw her arms around him, hugging him impulsively and giving him a brief kiss on the forehead.  The canine digimon blushed straight through to his fur, grinning goofily at the affectionate girl as she scrambled towards the bureau.  Gatomon gave the blushing digimon a cold look, her arms crossed.

"Don't get used to it."  She muttered, cooling the other's blush like ice water.

Kari, busily pulling open drawers, admonished her absently, "Gato!  That wasn't nice."

Gabumon grinned smugly at Gatomon as the feline protested in an injured tone, "What did I say?"

The teenager didn't answer, instead pulling open a final drawer and grinning in triumph, her grin quickly turning to a fierce blush.  "Oh… my… god… Matt wears tightie whities!" She tried in vain to suppress a giggle as she gingerly began to shift the bleached articles, looking for a small object.  Suddenly, her hands froze in the drawer, and her blush disappeared as the color ran from her face.

Moving slowly, she pulled a battered green hat out of the drawer.  It was dark brown in places from dried blood, and had a cheesy blue plastic jewel affixed to the front.  Despite its terrible condition, she would have known it anywhere.  When she was younger, and had dreamed about how the war with the Dark Masters should have happened, the Child of Hope had always, always been wearing this hat.  Suddenly, feeling the stiffness of the long dried blood under her hands, the suffering TK must have endured became terribly real, as real as the object she now held in shaking hands.

Patamon, his small voice heavy with unexpressed grief, grief Kari realized now she might never understand, spoke softly into the stunned silence.  "He found it after Omnimon defeated the last of the Dark Masters, right before he fought with Tai for the last time… I think that was when he gave TK up for dead."

Four years earlier:

Matt groaned in exhaustion as he and Gabumon continued to search the fortress at Spiral Mountain for any last pockets of resistance.  Gabumon looked as tired as Matt felt, which was understandable since he'd just reached the highest form of evolution Matt had ever seen from him.  

It had happened just an hour before, when Matt and Tai had put their fight aside for a moment to co-operate.  Their crests had activated and allowed Gabumon and Agumon to digivolve together into Omnimon who had, with the aid of the others, been able to defeat Peidmon and Apocalymon, deleting them completely.  

After celebrating, Tai had suggested they make sure all the Darkness was gone, by searching the fortress.  In the interest of not having to deal with him for a while, Matt had agreed readily, and was now combing what appeared to be the dungeons.  He was about to turn back, so Gabumon could rest, when a flash of green in a mostly destroyed cell caught his eye.

He moved towards it, his feet seeming to move by themselves, and he found himself on his knees, feverishly attempting to unearth the object, ignoring Gabumon's questions.  With a final twist, the object came free, and he felt as though he turned to ice, as time froze around him.  He could no longer hear Gabumon's voice, or even his own thoughts, just silence and the object before him, burning into his memory.

His hat.  Takeru's hat… covered in dirt and dried blood.

Dried blood.

Gabumon had fallen silent behind him, and for a long moment Matt just looked around the ruins of the cell, trying to picture in his mind the battle that had been fought here.  Trying to picture TK here, in this dark place.  But for the first time in years, he couldn't bring an image of TK to his mind.  Even trying to picture him wearing the hat he now held in his hands didn't work, and his mind remained blank of everything but grief.  

It wasn't until the hat became soaked with tears that he even realized he was crying.  

At the moment, Tai arrived behind him, speaking in an irritated voice he probably wouldn't have used if he'd noticed Matt's state.  Being Tai, however, he didn't notice a thing and simply spoke, an action he would later regret.

"Geez, have you been sitting here this whole time?"

It was innocent enough, but grief gave way to fury in Matt's mind, and clutching the precious hat in trembling fists, he turned to Tai.

In the rubble of a battle long since past, in the shadow of Spiral Mountain, and upon ground once soaked with the blood of Hope, Matt and Tai fought for the final time.

Kari slowly placed the hat back in the drawer, ignoring the slight tingling in her arms as she handled it.  Right beneath where the hat had lain was the object she was seeking, glimmering faintly in the cast shadow of the drawer, making it stand out beside the completely dimmed Crest of Friendship.  Her hand hesitated over it for a split second before she picked it up, in a quick decisive movement.  

To her surprise and slight disappointment, nothing happened.  No flash of light, no thunder, no tingle… nothing at all.  She may as well have picked up her brother's Crest for all the reaction she got.  Straightening up the underwear, she shut the drawer quickly, standing up and turning towards the door.

Standing directly behind her was Ishida Yamato, looking angrier than she'd ever seen him.  His eyes flicked from her face, to the Crest, and back to her face.

Something told her that her innocent 'Angel of Light' expression wasn't going to get her out of this one.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer:  If I owned it, why would I be writing a disclaimer?  Huh?  Answer me that!

AN:  Keyword for this chapter:  Takari.  Yup, you heard me; I know all you Takari fans have been waiting for the takari action actually start.  So here you go.

BTW, this chapter is dedicated to Darklight, who was tremendously helpful to me, and who heartily deserves it.

_It is not a word spoken,_

_Few words are said;_

_Nor even a look of the eyes_

_Nor a bend of the head,_

_But only a hush of the heart_

_That has too much to keep,_

_Only memories waking_

_That sleep so light a sleep._

_                                                "It is Not a Word Spoken"_

_                                                            Sarah Teasdale_

The silence stretched between the two teenagers for a long moment, pulling out between the two who unknowingly had so much in common.  However, they had been long parted by a deep ocean of anger and time, and so what had once been a friendship was now something else, something less, something cold.  

Not to mention the fact that he had caught her going through his underwear drawer, which was really no way to strike up a conversation about old times.  Yamato stopped staring at her at last, to her eternal relief, turning his attention to the Crest in her hand.  He didn't say anything to her; he simply reached his hand out, waiting for her to hand it over.  The implication was clear: he would forget this if she handed it over and left… he obviously felt he had argued with enough Kamiyas for one lifetime.  

However, he was about to find out he had never argued with the _truly_ stubborn Kamiya.  Gatomon, standing slightly defensively at her partner's side, stifled a groan as she watched Kari set her chin and shake her head to Yamato's silent request.  Her eyes were flat and dark and she was gripping the Crest so hard it was beginning to cut into her skin.

Yamato met her eyes, his voice cold.  "What do you think you're doing here?"

Kari, who had been so ready to fight a moment before, found her voice had fled, and stumbled slightly, grimacing at her frightened, trembling tone.  "I… I want to use it to find him.  We can't wait anymore, Ishida-san!  Haven't we waited long enough?"

She didn't have to say who 'he' was.  Yamato's eyes narrowed, and his voice became very, very quiet, and as he began to speak, Kari heard Gabumon gasp slightly behind her.  

"Haven't I mourned long enough, don't you mean?  Why can't anyone let me move on?  The Crests don't work; it's just over!  He's dead, and I miss him, but I can't worry and wait anymore.  I refuse to live like that!  Let me move on, Kamiya Hikari, so just take your little friends and get out of my house—and my life!"

Kari gasped slightly as Yamato, his eyes hard, reached out and grabbed her arm in a bruising grip, dragging her down the hallway.  Her arm went numb where he gripped it and it was only though force of spirit that she didn't drop the Crest she'd worked so hard to acquire.  As she stumbled against her will into the spacious living area of the apartment, she heard a hiss behind her as Gatomon leapt from her shocked stupor to her mistress's defense, jumping at Yamato with claws outstretched and fury in her eyes.

Before Yamato could turn or Kari could gasp so much as a protest or warning, a blur and white blur rammed into Gatomon mid-leap, sending both tumbling to the polished floor.  Gabumon and Gatomon stumbled together fiercely, both overcome by the instinct to protect their destined.  Kari and Yamato watched the two in silent shock, unable to move or speak as the former allies scratched and bit each other with a ruthlessness both destined had thought could only be directed at dark digimon.

It wasn't until an orange and white form swooped down between the two, effectively stopping the battle before it got truly out of hand, that the two roused form their astonishment.  Patamon hovered between the combatants, the fierce look on his face disconcerting on such a small digimon.  

Forcefully yanking her arm from Yamato's grip, Kari pulled Gatomon into her arms, effectively turning the digimon's anger into concern for her partner.  Kari fussed a bit over the slight injuries her digimon had sustained, allowing reassurance to flow down through the subtle bond she maintained with her partner.  Yamato remained stock-still; staring at Patamon is shock, obviously not having seen him earlier in his fury at Kari.  

Trying to control her smugness, Kari answered the question he was about to ask, "His name is Patamon.  He's your brother's digimon, which proves that TK's still alive.  Please don't give up, yet, Ishi—_Matt!_  We're so close!"

Blue eyes not leaving the strange digimon before him, Matt scoffed, his words filled with scorn.  "Close?  Close to what?  What can this digimon do fro my brother that he couldn't—or wouldn't—do for him twelve years ago?  What do you hope to achieve by this, Kari?"

A strange tone in the last of his words caused Kari to pause before replying, her eyes softening slightly.  As her eyes ran over his face, his darkened gaze and the grim set of his jaw, she suddenly saw the weight of the years of waiting and hoping, and how far they had bent his spirit.  For a brief second, the now familiar flickering of her sight occurred, and Matt's figure was draped in darkness before her.  He appeared to her eyes as if all color and life had been stripped from him, and he was awash in a gray shadow that reminded her of something… something she had seen before…

The Crest of Hope turned to fire in her hand as the connection snapped into place in her mind.  The shadow, the loss of color… the Dark Ocean was reaching for Matt as it had for her so often in her dreams.  She had thought that the Dark Ocean was antithesis of _her_ Crest, a place of darkness and shadow, but as the power of Hope burned her palm, she realized that the grim gray world did not oppose her Crest at all.

The Dark Ocean was _despair,_ and so was darkened because where there is no Hope, neither can there be Light.  TK's Crest had been protecting her from hopelessness for all these years, as it struck out at her to get to him, but it was no longer protecting Yamato, he had finally given up.  As Matt's eyes moved to the glowing Crest, Kari knew decisively that all things had come to a head now, today, because there was only one thing that could save Matt from the Dark Ocean.  

The older consciousness inside her stirred to life as the truth broke over the girl like the tide… She was the living Light, and so wielded her Crest against darkness, but only the Crest of Hope in the hands of the living Hope could destroy the bleak ocean of despair.  That was why the Dark Ocean was so interested in her, because as Hope, TK was forever beyond the reach of despair.  But destroy Light… and Hope would eventually fall on his own.

The Crest was still protecting her, but only TK himself could save Matt now.

Still holding Gatomon securely in her arms, Kari stood gracefully, walking calmly past Matt to the door of the apartment.  He gaped at her, and she paused in the now open doorway, looking back at him with a strangely familiar expression on her face.  He struggled for a minute before a memory rose up in him, a memory of a night he had almost completely forgotten, despite the fact that he thought of the horrible day that followed it at least once every hour.

TK had awoken him from slumber, and together they had watched a fierce battle of what he now knew were digimon.  TK had given him the same look that Kari was giving him now, a look of combined youth and ancient wisdom, of innocence and resolve.

Almost unaware that he was speaking aloud, Matt whispered the words that TK had said to him that night, the last night he had spent with his beloved brother… "We're not ready… it's not time yet…"

Kari smiled benevolently at the older boy, looking at him as though she was years older and he just a child who had erred in some harmless way but none-the-less needed to be corrected gently.  The golden power of the Crest of Hope, and the softer pink glow of the Crest of Light around her neck seemed to expand to fill the room, simultaneously banishing all shadows and doubts.  

"We are ready, Yamato… we are ready, and it's more than time… some things are long overdue, but that will end soon.  We know it seems impossible, but you must hang on to your faith.  Would he have given up on you?"

Matt watched in awed silence as she disappeared through the door, leaving it open behind her.  Patamon fluttered after her distractedly, muttering apologetically as he did so.

"Ummmm… yeah, so… uh… have a nice day!"

With that, the flustered digimon was gone, leaving Matt and Gabumon to stare at the open doorway and wonder what exactly had happened in those last few moments as the blazing brilliance of Hope and Light died away in the room.

"No," Matt said finally, and Gabumon jumped slightly at the sound of his voice.  "No, TK would never have given up on me…"

Gabumon remained silent.

There was nothing more to say.

_I heard a cry in the night,_

_A thousand miles it came,_

_Sharp as a flash of light,_

_My name, my name!_

_It was your voice I heard,_

_You waked and loved me so—_

_I send you back this word,_

_I know, I know!_

_                                    "Message"_

_                                                Sarah Teasdale_

Wearing the Crest of Hope around her neck, Kari found it hard to fall asleep that night, especially since the strange events of the afternoon wouldn't leave her.  Eventually, though, the tired girl managed to drift off, and soon found herself in a dark place…

She shivered in an icy wind, but her eyes could make out nothing in the solid shadow surrounding her.   She instinctively reached for her Crest, but her hand froze over her chest when she felt the foreign power hanging there… she wasn't wearing the Crest of Light… 

Suddenly she understood, and she straightened her shoulders.  " I know you're here!" She cried out in challenge, daring the Crest of Hope to reply to her.

As if accepting her challenge, a golden light appeared before her, more raw and defiant than her own soft pink power.  She recognized it—Hope… the part of TK that had separated itself to protect him… and her.  It spoke, and it had TK's voice, the older voice, the voice perhaps only she would ever recognize…

"You want to wake him."

It wasn't a question.

"Matt's in danger… we need him now.  It's time, it has to be."

Hope was silent for a moment, considering her words, before speaking again.  "He has been deeply hurt by the Darkness.  He will seem strong, but his memories will haunt him.  We have protected him from this, sent him to a place where he could grow and be needed until he was ready to face them again.  There will be no easy healing for him.  Do you have the strength to help him?"

Kari lowered her eyes, her thoughts turned inwards.  She knew this was the test, and if she answered incorrectly, she would have to find another way to get to TK.  That would take too long, but she didn't know what had happened to TK… the bloody hat said so much more than she wanted to think about, but…

Finally, she looked up, her gaze steady and resolved.  

"I can only try."

Takeru knew there was something different about the dream from the moment it began.  He was standing in the valley of St. Joseph's, the valley that had given him his pro-tem last name, standing with the sweep of verdant forests on every side, and in the east, the rise of sharp mountains, white and blue against the sky.  He could even smell the fresh scent of the summer forest spiced faintly with a slight crispness, a combination of pine needles and snow from the not-so-distant mountains.  The intense azure sky was cloudless, and the sun blazed directly over his head—noon.

Something was waiting, waiting to happen.  The air was charged with anticipation of it, like the feeling of electricity in the air before a storm.

A breeze whipped through the field around him, sending up a cloud of bright pollen from the golden arctic poppies, filling the air with yellow light and the rustle of leaves.

And then she called his name.

"TK."

He turned, and she was there.  Standing among the poppies and berry brambles, with the sunlight radiating off her, creating a sort of halo around her in the fresh air and pollen.  She was less than a foot away from him, and he could feel it… feel the difference, something familiar…

Moving gradually, he raised his hand, allowing it to hover directly over her heart… the difference was centered there… she was wearing something, and it was calling him, it was part of him… her deep brown eyes met his, and she nodded slowly, a soft but brilliant smile on her face.

She reached up and pulled a chain from around her neck, little by little drawing a charm from beneath her plain white blouse.  Holding it in her right hand, she reached out with her left and turned the hand he was holding over her heart, cupping it.  Slowly, as though she wasn't sure if what she was doing was right, she placed the golden charm in his hand and closed his fingers over it.

For a moment, nothing seemed to happen, and she gazed up into his eyes with a quiet kind of desperation on her face, searching them for any change.  Then he felt it, like a joint popping into place, and in an instant he knew.  It happened so quickly and totally that he couldn't believe he'd ever forgotten, as though the last twelve years of his life had been a strange dream of the sort that vanishes so quickly upon awakening, one barely remembers that they even had a dream.

All of it came back to him… his life before… Matt… the life he should have led with the others… Patamon, Angemon, Devimon, and then… Light and Hope… he remembered them, both of them together in lives before this, bound by fate and time to two worlds and to each other.

"Kari…"

He whispered her name, but it hit her with such force she was sure he'd shouted it, and he raised his free hand to her cheek, trailing his fingers lightly down her face.  She looked in his eyes and saw the light there, the glow of Hope that had been present but dimmed; now radiating full force from his soul to hers.  Her eyes filled with tears, but she said nothing, simply bringing his hand—that still held the Crest—to her heart, holding it there softly.  

The stood that way for a long time, Light and Hope, until the distant sound of a church bell drifted through the clear air around them, causing TK to jerk his head around towards the convent that sat on the secluded side of the valley.  He turned back to her, his blue eyes serious.

"Is it very bad?"

Reluctantly dropping his hands, Kari sighed softly, rubbing her temple as though to dispel a headache.  She knew what he meant… was it very different than how it should have been, the alternate truth that they alone had seen.  It was strange, in a way, they had just met, but they both had seen themselves also become the best of friends… and of course, they'd always talked through the nights… the dark times when they would look forward to sleeping to comfort each other, sustain each other.

She answered truthfully.  "It's… fixable.  We need to act now, though… the Dark Ocean is coming for Matt."

He stiffened, his gaze darkening.  "That's believable, considering… God, this is so weird… I remember things that never happened, like when the Dark Ocean came for you…" He trailed off, as though the memory caused him pain.  "You're right… I don't know how soon I can get home—I mean, to Japan… Ugh, this is so confusing!  I'm going to need major therapy when this is all over."

She didn't know what to reply to that until she saw his lips twitch into a quirky smile.  Laughter burst from her, born of relief and a strange, giddy sort of joy, and he laughed with her.  It felt right, the two of them laughing together in the warm sunlight.

Feeling the sunlight on her face, Kari tore her eyes from TK to glance around at her surroundings.  "Speaking of coming home," she said, taking in the distant mountains, "Where are we?"

TK scratched the back of his head in an abashed manner, and Kari noted absently that he wasn't wearing a hat.  "Actually, we're in Alaska.  St. Joseph's Parish, Alaska… this is where I've been."

Her jaw dropped, and she glanced around her again with greater interest.  "Alaska?  As in, _Alaska_, in the _United States_?"  He nodded, and she whistled softly.  "You know, I thought you had a bit of an accent… geez, we never would have found you the old fashioned way.  The Crest picked a great place to hide you."

His eyes dropped from her quickly, and her voice grew soft.  "How—how did it happen?"

TK's eyes did not meet hers, and for a long moment she thought he wasn't going to answer.  But then he spoke, his voice flat and unemotional, as if he had divorced himself from any expression or feeling.  "There—there was a shadow, and a cold wind, and then the park was just gone and I was in a dark place I'd never seen before.  But I knew… I knew what had happened.  There just wasn't anything I could do about it." 

She wanted desperately to understand, to help, but the way his face turned away from her, the way he held the pain back from her, stayed her from asking anything further.  So instead she reached out to him, placing a soft hand on his shoulder, the touch intimate and yet hesitant.  He placed his hand over hers gratefully, and for the two of them it was enough.

His eyes moved back to her hand, and then towards her face, but they arrested on her arm, and his features went from blank to concerned in a heartbeat.  Touching her as though she were glass, he gently turned her arm, exposing an ugly purple bruise to both their eyes.  He frowned, turning her arm back and forth to see the full extent of her injury.

Raising his eyes to hers, TK pinned her with a worried stare, his blue eyes deep with emotion.  "Who did this to you?"

Kari attempted to tug her arm from his grip, but he gently held firm, and she blushed.  "It was an accident—I bumped into the wall, that's all."

Disappointment filled his features, and she knew at once he hadn't fallen for the lie, that he could still read her like a book… but she was desperate not to make trouble between him and his brother when they had so much to rebuild.  He scoffed slightly, turning her arm again so she could better see the evidence.  

"A wall left a handprint on your arm?"

Not meeting his eyes, she squirmed slightly.  "He—he didn't mean to do it, he had every right to be angry—"

TK cut her off, suppressed anger seeping through his tone, and she couldn't look at him even though she knew the anger wasn't—could never be—directed at her.  "No one has a right to hurt you, Kari!  Why are you protecting some…one…?"

His voice trailed off as realization filled it, as he guessed the one person whom she would protect for him, and he placed his hand over the bruise, a chill traveling down his spine as he saw how closely the size of the bruise matched the size of his hand… or his brother's hand.  

He dropped her arm and turned her face towards his so he could look her into her eyes.  "How bad is it there, really?"

Suddenly the landscape around her dimmed, and she could feel the dream fading, ending.  Looking into his eyes, she answered the question as they were drawn reluctantly apart.

"Come home soon, TK… Come home soon."

_If I ran away,_

_I'd never have the strength_

_To go very far…_

_How would they hear_

_The beating of my heart?_

_Will it grow cold?_

_The secret that I hide?_

_Will I grow old?_

_How will they hear?_

_When will they learn?_

_How will they know?_

_The truth is never far behind…_

_                                                "Live to Tell"_

_                                                            Madonna_

Kari lay in bed for a long time that morning, assimilating all that had happened to her.  Her hand was laying over her heart where the Crest of Hope no longer sat… it was gone now.

She had returned it to him.

The two digimon perched on the end of her bed, Gatomon with a puzzled expression, but Patamon with a small smile.  He knew she had succeeded.  All three of them jumped when her personal phone, on her bedside table, rang suddenly.

It rang twice more before her trembling hand reached out to pick it up.

"Moshi moshi?"

"…"

"…"

"TK?!?"

"I can't believe it!  How did you get my number? … … The international operator?  You're a very strange young man, I hope you realize… … hang on, there's someone here who wants to say hi."

With a tremendous smile on her face, Kari placed the phone beside Patamon, positioning it so he could speak and hear easily.  Looking at his wide eyes, she smiled even more broadly.

"It's for you."

Please review!  It makes my day… don't you want to make my day?


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: If I owned it, this wouldn't say disclaimer, would it?  
  
AN: Okay, I apologize for not updating, but when I come home from college, I have no Internet access at my house. I know, it's unbelievable, but what can I say, My parents aspire to be Amish. So, I'm very sorry, but it takes a awhile to update without a computer. So please be patient with me.  
  
Also, you'll notice I mix and match japanese and dub names. Mostly, their full names are the japanese, and their nicknames are dub. The exception to this is 'Yagumi'. I used Kamiya because I like alliteration, and Kari Kamiya has a nice roll to it.  
  
As always, reviews are appreciated, even if I won't get them until the end of August.  
  
*****  
  
"Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter-tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. and one fine morning-  
  
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."  
  
The Great Gatsby  
F. Scott Fitzgerald  
  
"And you're letting him go?"  
  
Sister Augustine's normally soft voice was rising perilously near to a shout, as she stared at her Superior in shock and consternation. The severe cut and color of her habit set off the fearsome look in her dark eyes and her normally smiling mouth was pressed into a thin line. Sister Cecilia met the stare levelly, her coolly composed face and pale blue eyes revealing nothing of her thoughts.  
  
"It is his decision, Sister. It is his money which he has earned by working all his part time jobs. He will be most welcome to stay with the Jesuits in Tokyo, and we can be sure they will keep a stern eye on him."  
  
Sister Augustine sat as though deflated, her angry words draining from her in a fierce sigh. The late summer sun drifted through the large, scrupulously clean windows of the convent, lending a warm glow to the native woodwork, rounded and polished with age and much handling, that decorated the elder nun's office.  
  
Finally she spoke, her tone returning to the deferential pitch appropriate for addressing her superior. "I can't help feeling he is keeping something from us. Something about him is very different this week, although I can't say what, exactly. I know he would never lie to us, and yet, I know there is more to this than simply wanting to go to Japan. He has never expressed a desire to go there before."  
  
Fingering the plane ticket which sat on her desk, Sister Cecilia smiled in her wise way. "Yes, but we have always known he must have come from there. Isn't it about time he went in search of his past?"  
  
"But he is so young! Surely there will be other summers."  
  
"He is fifteen. or so we assume, anyway. I have expected him to become restless sooner than this, actually, but then, he always was a cheerful, obedient boy. However, he is a young man, now and he must find his own path. His presence at a convent is less and less appropriate as he grows older, as it is. The Jesuits are a better place for him." Here the elder woman raised her hand to forestall protest.  
  
"I know, sister. Time is cruel, especially to a mother who would not have it pass, who would keep her boy forever small, clinging to her skirts. But pass it has, and now it is time for Takeru to leave us. We will all miss him, child. But I feel that this is God's will, for us and for him. I am thankful Takeru was inspired to make this move himself, I had rather dreaded suggesting it to him. But as we have seen, God works all problems out if we lay them at his feet."  
  
Sister Augustine gave a resigned smile, her many years of sacrifice and obedience in God's name making her protests fade like mist into the sunlight. "Takeru always was intuitive when it came to matters of faith."  
  
"We all knew when this began that he couldn't stay forever, little sister."  
  
Looking up, startled at the weak tone in the usually stern voice, Augustine was shocked at the sight before her. Across the great desk, her Superior's soft eyes were clouded with tears, reflecting the true anguish of the austere, businesslike woman. Compassion flared in her heart, and she reached forward to grasp Cecilia's hand.  
  
"That doesn't keep us from hoping, Sister. But all the hope in the world cannot stop time or even slow it down for us."  
  
******  
  
"All motion is relative. Perhaps it is you who have moved away-by standing still."  
  
Inherit the Wind  
J. Lawrence & R. E. Lee  
  
The steady rhythm of rowing helped TK settle his mind and his stomach, as he smoothly propelled the kayak down the clear water of the Yukon River. Droplets of water flashed, iridescent, in the blazing sunlight around him. He didn't know why he felt so unsettled since he got his Crest back, it seemed to him he should be more secure now that his memory had returned. It had given him back all the things he'd ever wanted and some things he hadn't even known he'd been missing.  
  
So why was he still up nights, running from dark shadows beyond names that stalked his dreams?  
  
He knew some of his unrest was guilt, from deceiving the sisters. He had never done so before, and although he knew that it was easier to get to Japan and pretend his memory returned there, it still left a bad taste in his mouth. It was certainly more believable than the truth, anyway.  
  
But there was more to it than that, TK knew, and he could not deceive himself. The answers he now had had raised many questions, things he could not long ignore. For example, who was he, really? He wasn't the innocent teenager he should have been, would have been, if things had been different. He wasn't TK Takaishi, that had been stolen from him long ago. Neither was he Takeru St. Joseph, whose memory was lost in shadow, who retained a tenuous innocence in return for a healing amnesia. Nor was he the small child his brother and parents would remember, a small child who had never grown up in their memories.  
  
His Crest warmed against his chest, and he smiled wryly, allowing it to fill him with it's bright strength as it had many times over the past week, as if it knew his private struggles had just begun.  
  
Although, the Crest itself raised many questions. Hope. Both simple and terribly complex, he could feel the past resonate through the talisman, and he knew this wasn't the first time he had borne this burden. He knew Hope and Light were the center of the digital world, but he didn't know why. He didn't know what he could do or what was expected from him, or what was coming.  
  
All he could do was walk blindly, hopefully towards the unknown, and pray that he and the people he loved would survive the encounter.  
  
The cry of a eagle wheeling through the cloudless summer sky overhead jerked TK from his reflections. He glanced up at the great bird as it circled the ancient pines the lined the river. The wind whipped through those trees, filling the air with the rustle of leaves and branches and the distinctive almost-silence known only to the few places left in the world where few men ever traveled. He would miss the forest, this place.  
  
But he was going home, and that was worth any sacrifice.  
  
**********  
  
"Kari? Kari! Hello, earth to Hikari, come in!"  
  
The brunette in question jerked up from her book, her eyes dazed as she focused on the person before her. The lavender locked upperclassman humphed at her in exasperation, plopping down in the seat beside Kari.  
  
"Oh, hi Yolei. Sorry, I was studying and I didn't hear you approach." She gestured at the textbook open in front of her, as though to verify her story. Yolei watch her in silence for a long moment, her shrewd eyes taking in everything about the younger girl. She could hear the hum of insects in the still, hot summer day outside, and beyond that the roar of city traffic. Glancing over Kari for a moment, Yolei could see the bay, blazing and silver in the beating light. Even the water looked hot on a day like today. It was at least a hundred degrees in the stifling classroom, even with the lights off, filling the room with the distinctive hazy atmosphere of heat and diffused sunlight.  
  
"So what's so interesting that you're studying it all through lunch. Davis is going to have an aneurysm if you don't pay attention to him soon. he won't be the only one, either. You haven't said more than two words to anyone all week. So what's so important?"  
  
Before Kari could so much as twitch, Yolei had yanked the book out from under her arms, paying no attention to the way the younger girl's elbows slammed into the desk.  
  
"Hmmm. Alaska-into the last frontier. this isn't on the curriculum for your year." Yolei closed the book, holding it momentarily away from Kari, a serious look in her normally frivolous eyes. "All right, girlie, I want to know what's going on with you lately. You haven't been to the digital world all this week, and Tai says you're acting weird at home, too. AND I heard that you broke into Ishida Yamato's apartment last week, by climbing the fire escape, no less. Now I find you hiding from us at lunch to study things that aren't being taught in your class. So spill."  
  
"Who told you I was in Yamato's apartment?" Kari gasped, abandoning her resolve to remain silent. Yolei smirked, inspecting her nails with an air of all-knowing expertise.  
  
"Gabumon told Gommamon, who e-mailed Palmon, who called Hawkmon, who told me. He said you took the Crest of Hope. Why would you want that, Kari? It's useless, like the rest of the Crests, right? Especially since Ishida- san's little brother has been dead for, like, ten years."  
  
Kari sighed and pulled her book from Yolie's grip and opened it back up, effectively ending the conversation by beginning to read again. She allowed herself to be pulled back into the history and geography of a place suddenly important to her, remembering the rough, wild splendor of the valley in which TK had been lost for so long. Yolei scrutinized her for a moment longer, her expression dark.  
  
"Fine, keep your secrets if that's what you want. You know I'm here if you need to talk. There's just one thing I need to know."  
  
Kari sighed gain, placing her bookmark and turning to face Yolei again. "Well, what would that be?"  
  
Maintaining her serious look, the older girl leaned in conspiratorially, her lilac hair falling like a curtain to frame her face. "Did you really climb Ishida-san's fire escape?"  
  
The bright laughter that bubbled from both girls banished, momentarily, the shadows of secrets not shared.  
  
*************  
  
Izzy read the e-mail again, making small, frustrated sounds under his breath. Gennai was keeping his own counsel as to what was going on in the digital world, but Izzy would have had to be blind to miss the old man's (if that's what he could be called) obvious satisfaction.  
  
Saving the cryptic letter, Izzy keyed into his mainframe, where he could monitor the binary code of the digital world. The code itself was not comprised of ones and zeroes, but by two digital runes he couldn't identify. Over the past years, almost for as long as he had been keeping watch over the code, one of the two characters had been degrading, often disappearing entirely from the code entirely, causing corruption and darkness in some areas of the digital world.  
  
This week, however, the character had been reappearing all over the code, meshing fluidly with the other character, causing the corrupted parts of the digital world to restart, fresh and new. Several areas with control spires had been rebooted, so-to -speak, causing the dark towers to disappear. It was like some primary, essential force had returned to the digital world, bringing with it a chance for peace.  
  
He sighed deeply, and keyed back to Gennai's e-mail, although he had its brief text memorized.  
  
"The sun always rises. What makes us so sure it will, even when the night seems darkest?"  
  
He jumped at the sound of his door opening, and smiled briefly at Yolei as she entered, pausing in the foyer to take off her shoes. She had her hair bound into a messy bun to keep it off her neck as she crossed the hot city. The door had been unlocked in anticipation of her arrival, as she had first alerted Izzy to the changes in the digital world earlier that week and they had agreed to meet to discuss it.  
  
She sat next to him on the couch, peering over his shoulder at Gennai's mysterious message. "Sorry I'm late, I was talking to Tai about Kari. He seemed pretty concerned about her."  
  
Izzy snorted, not looking up from his computer. "Tai is always concerned about Kari. What else is new?"  
  
Yolei leaned back on the couch, shaking her head absently. "This times he's not the only one. She's acting very strange. did you know that she broke into Ishida-san's apartment to steal the Crest of Hope?"  
  
This startled Izzy into looking at her, and his expression was one of shock. "She broke into Matt's apartment? To steal the Crest . of."  
  
He trailed off, a stunned look on his face, as a memory surfaced in his mind.  
  
"We don't even know what a Crest looks like!"  
  
Matt stepped forward, his cool voice hesitant. "Well, actually."  
  
Without further explanation, he pulled something from beneath his shirt, holding out so the other could see it. Izzy leaned forward to observe it more clearly.  
  
It was a trapezoid shaped golden pendant, with a symbol etched on it's bright surface. The symbol looked like a star on top of a mountain, or. the sun rising.  
  
" 'The sun always rises.' prodigious." Izzy muttered to himself excitedly, typing quickly, as Yolei favored him with a strange look. He summoned some of his archived files, looking for a particular photograph.  
  
Meanwhile, he addressed Yolei. "Have you ever seen the Crest of Hope?"  
  
Yolei looked startled, and then thought to herself. She had only paid passing attention to the few Crests she had seen, as her understanding had been that they no longer worked. She, of course, knew the symbols on most of them, as she herself held Love and Sincerity, and had seen the digi-eggs of her teammates. There was no egg for Hope, though, at least, as far as she knew there wasn't.  
  
"Mmmm, no, I don't think I've ever seen it. Why?"  
  
Izzy didn't answer for a moment, dragging small squares over the photo he'd loaded, one of the original destined just after they'd all found their Crests. Slowly the resolution cleared, and she could see the two Crests worn by Yamato, magnified. One she immediately recognized as the Crest of Friendship, and the other.  
  
"Oh, my god!" She gasped, leaning in towards the fuzzy image. "Gennai's message."  
  
Izzy nodded grimly, " 'The sun always rises. What makes us so sure it will. ?"  
  
"Hope." Yolei breathed, her eyes wide. "But what does it mean? Why would Kari having the Crest of Hope effect the code?"  
  
Izzy shook his head, gazing blankly at the code whizzing across one widow on his screen. The largest widow held the image of the Crest, and a third smaller window held Gennai's letter. He felt he was right on top of the answer, that everything he needed to figure this out was before him on the screen, but he just couldn't see it.  
  
Yolei was also staring at the screen, thinking out loud as she usually did. "So. the Crest of Hope is working again? Is that why the digital world is restoring itself?"  
  
Izzy tapped his fingers against the table, his eyes distant. "The crest worked for us several times, but it was always sporadic. It eventually stopped doing anything, I always assumed that was because Matt's brother never came for it. but now, I don't know. Why would it work for Kari? How is she connected to all this?"  
  
Yolei sighed, looking at the screen tiredly. "I don't know, Izzy. I don't know."  
  
**************  
  
TK looked out the tiny window as the plane circled the city, waiting for landing clearance no doubt. It was a bright day, and the afternoon sunlight reflected off the towering windows of the city he barely remembered. He thought about Kiu, waiting for him in quarantine, having been sent over so she could go straight home with him when he arrived. Import laws required all animals to be quarantined before being released into a foreign country. She would be angry with him, for leaving her there alone.  
  
He gazed back out at the buildings, wondering which one Matt lived in. Which one Kari lived in.  
  
He wondered if he was ready to be the person he was about to become or these people.  
  
All he could do was try. 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own it. no, not even a little bit.  
  
AN: I know what you're all thinking: He's been on his way home for like three chapters, let's get some action here! Well, this chapter isn't it. There is, however, some takari, and the reunion I know you've all been waiting for.  
  
Just don't kill me when you read it.  
  
That said, happy reading and please review! I'm using a computer that's almost as old as I am to bring this to you. That has to be worth something. By the way, that's why the formatting for this chapter and the last are a little ummm-screwy. FF.net doesn't like my word program, and refuses to see certain spaces, punctuation, etc. I apologize to the grammar conscious (like myself) who are disturbed by such things.  
  
Thanks! Review!  
  
I years had been from home,  
  
And now, before the door  
  
I dared not open, lest a face  
  
I never saw before  
  
Stare vacant into mine  
  
and ask my business there.  
  
My business,--just a life I left,  
  
Was such still dwelling there?  
  
"I years had been from home'  
  
Emily Dickinson  
  
The streets of Tokyo were bustling with people despite the continuing unprecedented heat wave. The streets were so crowded, in fact, even in the smaller community atmosphere of Odaiba, that the odds of running into someone you knew were rather slim.  
  
However, there are some people who make a habit of beating the odds, and so it was that two such boys, one looking up at the skyscrapers, like a tourist, and the other looking inward, absorbed in his thoughts, chanced to slam into each other on that sunny, not so average morning.  
  
Backpacks flying, the boys slammed to the ground, grunting slightly as they hit. Both swore rather fluently, and the older boy, brushing his blue- black hair out of his eyes, was surprised to hear the tall blond sprawled before him curse successively in English, Latin, and Japanese. The large gray dog the blond had been leading sniffed its master solicitously, and the turned to him. Sniffing the dark-haired boy cautiously, the animal immediately began to growl.  
  
Looking up, the blond seized the dog's collar, pulling her away from the other boy. Speaking in a language the older boy did not recognize, the blond seemed to firmly admonish the dog before standing and offering his hand. With a final, cautious look at the dog who was obediently sitting but eyeing him murderously, the dark boy took the proffered hand and rose to his feet.  
  
The courteous words of apology died on his lips as the blonde's hand closed around his. Something about this boy was burning him, a feeling like bright fire was charging down his arm and along his senses, finally traveling to the back of his neck where it seemed to intensify momentarily, before dissipating as they released each other. Except for a brief narrowing of his eyes, the other boy made no indication he had felt the same thing. Instead, a look of recognition filled his features.  
  
"Ken!"  
  
It was not a question, nor did the boy sound surprised. In fact, unless Ken was much mistaken, and he very rarely was in his own opinion, this boy looked angry, very angry and a little sad, a look almost like pity and disappointment. Searching the boy's face, Ken was forced to admit that the boy looked extremely familiar. Something about his coloring, although he knew few blondes. The expression on his face was easily placed, however-it was the exact expression that sappy Child of Light often wore when facing his minions, only intensified.  
  
He kept his voice steady, though, revealing little. "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. How do you know me?"  
  
This seemed to startle the blond slightly, and he looked annoyed, as though he had briefly forgotten something. He answered quickly and smoothly, however, in slightly accented but otherwise perfect Japanese.  
  
"Only by reputation, like the rest of Tokyo. I apologize for addressing you so familiarly, I was just startled to find I'd run you, of all people, down in the street." The blonde's expression was closed, guarded, his eyes, an unusually intense blue, looked wise, almost ancient. It was a much older expression that Ken was accustomed to seeing on a person his age, or even younger, though the boy was taller than him by several inches.  
  
Ken smiled affably, falsely, looking the strange boy and dog over carefully. "It's no problem, really, I get that a lot. You look familiar, though. There aren't many blondes of your height in Odaiba, or even Tokyo for that matter."  
  
The boy seemed to consider his words carefully, and Ken couldn't help feeling as though he was approaching a battle. Somehow, he felt instinctively that this strange boy was a formidable opponent, one who would not easily accept defeat. He could almost picture them fighting in his flying fortress. and as he watched the boy, he saw a ugly red welt marring the boy's cheek, as though he had been struck with a whip. When he blinked, shocked, the image had gone and the boy had begun to speak.  
  
"I'm from out of town, actually. I recently moved here from Alaska."  
  
Ken blinked again, surprised twice in as many seconds. "Really? So that must be a-Malamute?--then," he gestured, indicating the dog, who continued to eye him darkly. "It's a beautiful animal. What were you speaking to it before, it didn't sound like English."  
  
The blond pet the dog absently, still staring hard at Ken. "It's a female, actually. And I was speaking Inuit, a native language in Alaska. She knows I mean business when I speak it to her."  
  
Ken arched an eyebrow, his expression equally intense. "Of course. Inuit, and I heard you speaking Latin and English before. And Japanese now. You are fluent in all these?"  
  
The blond smiled calmly, clearly unruffled by what was becoming an intense, if subtle, verbal duel. "Mostly, yes," he replied modestly, but with a clear undertone of pride. "I also speak French."  
  
"You must be quite a gifted linguist."  
  
"Well, once you learn Latin, most other western languages come easily."  
  
"Your Japanese sounds almost native."  
  
"I was born here. I-" here the blond seemed to stumble for the first time, "I left when I was very young."  
  
Ken nodded sagely, as though this explained all. "Well, I really must be going, I'm late for soccer practice as it is. It was very nice meeting you," and he paused significantly, picking up his backpack.  
  
"TK." The boy replied simply, gathering his own things and getting his dog to attention with a brief gesture.  
  
"TK?" Ken asked, an eyebrow arched in feigned polite curiosity.  
  
"Takeru."  
  
Hmph. "Is there a last name that goes with that?"  
  
The blonde's smile was bright, but strangely brittle. He clearly considered the conversation over. "Yes, there is a last name. I'm sorry to have kept you, have a nice practice."  
  
Brushing past him, TK walked firmly away from Ken, his exit a clear slap in the face. The dog hesitated briefly to growl at Ken, before trotting after her master, clearly pleased with having the last word. Watching the boy for a moment longer, Ken turned towards practice with the troubling feeling that he had lost something in that exchange.  
  
***********************  
  
TK walked swiftly through the streets, his feet knowing the way even when his mind did not. He was still reeling from his encounter with the Digimon Emperor, and their ensuing conversation. Clicking his tongue softly to keep Kiu moving despite the interesting smells that caused her to pause every block or so, he wondered that, of all the people he could have slammed into, it had to be Ken. The older boy had almost recognized him, he was sure, and he had felt his Crest react violently to the Dark Spore he knew Ken carried.  
  
Shaking his head, he put his mind on the task ahead of him. He had only a small window of time to catch Matt at home, after his father went to work but before Matt left for school. But before he could face Matt, he had one more trial to get through, and it was even now looming before him, in all its verdant glory:  
  
Odaiba Park.  
  
It looked much the same as he remembered it, and indeed the day was much similar to the day he had last been in it. The day he had last been in Japan. There were fewer children in the park, only small children with their mothers on a weekday. He saw a few older children, in uniform and obviously getting an early start to school, walking the shaded paths in small groups, laughing and chatting with each other in the comfortable patterns of the everyday.  
  
Kiu, not sensing her master's distress in her excitement to see greenery again, began tugging him forward. Swallowing the memories, TK squared his shoulders and walked into the park, watching the children dart across the path and look with curiosity at Kiu, who trotted with her tail held proudly aloft, always one to know when she was being admired.  
  
His carefully constructed composure disappeared when a familiar voice appeared at his elbow, filled with mischief.  
  
"Gee, that's a nice dog, mister."  
  
He stumbled to a halt, causing Kiu to choke against the leash for a moment before she could notice his stop. Standing beside him in the shade of the tall trees, sunlight casting ever changing patterns across her, was Kari, smiling broadly at him.  
  
TK gaped at her for a moment before sweeping her up into a hug, dropping Kiu's leash to swing the girl around him. Kari obligingly threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him as though she'd never let go. She gasped as they spun around, before he finally dropped her and held her out at arms length, grinning crookedly at her, his eyes sparkling.  
  
"Now this is more like what I had in mind!" He exclaimed, releasing her to reclaim Kiu's leash. Kari squinted at him, a puzzled look in her chestnut eyes.  
  
"Huh? I can't say that's what I had in mind for your first words to me!" She said, tone inquisitive, and her hands on her hips in mock annoyance.  
  
TK's expression clouded slightly, although his smile did not falter. "I ran into Ken a few minutes ago-literally. It wasn't how I had planned to spend the first part of my morning, obviously."  
  
Kari smiled sympathetically, although her voice was hard when she spoke. "You didn't tell him too much, did you? He's smart enough to figure all this out before we do, and we can't have that. If he-"  
  
TK cut her off by placing his finger over her lips, his expression amused. "Don't worry, General, I stuck to name, rank, and serial number. The state secrets are safe."  
  
Crossing her arms over her chest, Kari began to pout, although her eyes were still alight with joy. Her tone, however, was rather convincingly put out. "You're making fun of me! I'm trying to save the world, and you're making fun of me!"  
  
He grinned, unrepentant. "Aren't you glad to have me back?"  
  
"Arrgh!" She growled, punching him in the arm. "You are so-so-so-!"  
  
He just grinned at her as she stuttered, watching the way her cheeks flushed and her brow creased as she searched for an adequately scathing adjective. Luckily, Kiu chose this pause to bark in annoyance at being ignored, a state of affairs she was unused to and found wholly unacceptable.  
  
Shushing her, TK saved himself from Kari's wrath. "By the way, this is Kiu. My other best friend."  
  
Kari was about to chastise him for his transparent attempt to change the subject when the silver dog trotted up to her and sat, extending one paw to be shaken. As TK had hoped, Kari melted on the spot, shaking the paw with all gravity, and then scratching the dog behind the ears, as Kiu whined appreciatively.  
  
Glancing at his watch, TK gasped as something caught his eye. "You have to go! Now!"  
  
Kari glanced up at once, startled. "What? Why?"  
  
TK, already backing away, pointed over her shoulder. Glancing back surreptitiously, Kari also gasped, swinging back to him. Coming up the path were Yolei and Davis, both of whom would react badly to seeing Kari with a boy, and both of whom could very well notice TK's resemblance to Matt. Neither seemed to have noticed the pair yet, but Davis' 'Kari-radar' was sure to kick in any moment. The only question was whether it would go off before Yolei's 'cute-guy-radar' did.  
  
Glancing between her approaching friends and the departing Takeru, Kari dashed after him, pushing him behind a tree. Kiu yelped in surprise, and TK opened his mouth to ask, but she shushed him, pressing something she pulled from her backpack into his hands.  
  
"I've been carrying this around all week hoping I'd bump into you! Meet me after school, if you can!" Pulling him into one more breathless hug, she dashed back out onto the path, where TK could hear her greet the approaching digi-destined cheerfully.  
  
Kneeling with his face away from the path, TK pretended to adjust Kiu's collar until the group had passed. Kiu, feeling this was a new game of some sort, helpfully washed his face with her tongue. After he lost sight of them around a curve in the path, TK stood wearily, looking at the object Kari had passed him.  
  
It was a white, cotton fisherman's hat, with 'welcome home' written along the inside band.  
  
****************************  
  
"Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."  
  
The Shawshank Redemption  
  
Stephen King  
  
Matt dropped his breakfast dishes into the dishwasher with an irritable clank, sighing noisily as the intercom buzzer sounded. Wiping his hands carelessly on his uniform pants, Matt went to the door and activated the speaker.  
  
"Ishida residence."  
  
The intercom made a scratchy noise, and then a voice came through. "Hello sir. This is the doorman. You have a visitor down here. He says he's your brother. May I buzz him in for you, sir?"  
  
Matt was silent for a long moment, and Gabumon, with eyes the size of dinner plates, watched from his perch on the top of the couch, where he had, until a moment before, been flat out on his back asleep in a remarkable Snoopy imitation.  
  
Finally, he pressed the buzzer again, speaking wearily into the intercom. "You are aware my brother is deceased, correct?"  
  
"Yes, sir. But the resemblance is remarkable, sir. I'm apologize for disturbing you, sir. I--- alright, alright. Sir, the boy says he has something to say to you?"  
  
Matt growled, scowling at the door. "Fine, whatever. I need a good laugh."  
  
There was a long pause, and the a young man's voice came over the com. "Geez, Matt. I had HOPED you would be a bit more FRIENDLY. Well, I guess I was wrong then."  
  
The only sound in the apartment was the loud thump of Gabumon hitting the floor, shock sending him tumbling from his perch. Matt stood frozen, his finger pressed over the reply button, feeling as though he had been encased in ice. That voice-those words-it triggered something deep inside him, something he thought had died so long ago, so very long ago that until that very moment, he had forgotten its existence. That's what told him the boy was telling the truth, the truth about something that he had given up on.  
  
Finally, a strangled whisper escaped him. "F--k me."  
  
Gabumon frowned, wagging his finger at Matt. "Potty mouth, Matt."  
  
"No kidding. That's not what I'm here for, big brother. If you want someone for that you're on your own."  
  
Matt shook himself as he realized his finger was still pressing the reply button. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he addressed the speaker again. "Yes, you can come up. Buzz him in, please."  
  
Silence reigned in the apartment in the interminable time between his strangled command the fateful knock on the door. Gabumon stood behind him, with the stunned look of someone who feels they should be saying something profound and comforting, but can't think of anything appropriate. Matt, meanwhile, stood in the immaculate apartment with the morning sun beating through the kitchen windows, feeling as though he had stepped back through time. He felt as he had the morning after TK's disappearance, when he had seen the police officer at the door and had been so sure, so positive that they'd found him.  
  
The knock came, and Matt moved towards the door, opening it. All his memories of his brother seemed to flash before his eyes as the door seemed to crawl open-or maybe it had flown open? In a second and an hour, the light flowed in and his eyes cleared, and he looked down.  
  
A dog smiled toothily back up at him.  
  
Oh. He's not three anymore, stupid. He's-fifteen? Is that possible?  
  
He looked up, straight into a pair of blue eyes level with his. The boy in the doorway seemed as tongue tied as he did, his deep eyes lost and confused. He was tan, his eyes bright and his blonde hair falling somewhat haphazardly into his face. He was easily as tall as Matt, but was built like an athlete. In his right hand, he was clutching a white hat.  
  
Matt furrowed his brow at the boy, at TK, struggling to make a connection in his mind between the little boy he remembered and the young man before him. He was so big-how had he gotten so tall? What had happened to give him that solemn depth in his eyes? Looking at the teenager before him, something occurred to Matt, something which froze the blood in his veins.  
  
This boy was not TK, not really. He was not the little boy Matt remembered, the small child that needed Matt to protect his innocence, his bright little spirit. Even if it was his brother, and his inner voice, so long silent, told him it was, they could never have what they'd had before. They could never regain what they'd lost. TK no longer needed his protection. He'd made it back on his own, albeit it took him twelve years, but still. He'd done it without Matt's help, after the older boy had so grievously failed him so many years ago.  
  
It was hopeless. They'd never be more than related strangers, with little but blood and pain in common.  
  
TK seemed to sense the destructive direction Matt's thoughts were taking, because he opened his mouth to speak. But Matt, suddenly furious with the universe and himself, did something unthinkable.  
  
He left. He grabbed his book-bag, his uniform jacket, and mumbling something about being late for school, brushed by TK, into the hall. He walked away swiftly, not looking back to see the deeply hurt expression his younger brother wore. He couldn't stay, not to ask the hundreds of questions he knew would eventually be asked, not to hear the explanations, not wanting to hear the truth.  
  
The truth was, he failed his little brother twelve years ago, and that failure had destroyed everything in his life. TK would no doubt blame him, would no doubt tell him what a horrible brother he'd been, and how he'd been much better off away from him.  
  
Matt had his own conscience for those truths, he didn't need people to return from the dead to tell him about them.  
  
He didn't need this, he swore to himself as the elevator door closed.  
  
He had stopped needing it a long time ago.  
  
****  
  
It had taken everything TK had to knock on the door. In another life, in a perfect world, he would have never needed to knock. In a world as he wished it to be, that door would always be open to him. In a universe watched over by a more benevolent heaven, the hope which he had drawn up from his soul would not have been in vain.  
  
But the heaven watching over TK was not benevolent, nor was his universe perfect. In his world, nothing worth having was easily gained. So as the elevator closed on the interminable silence of his long anticipated reunion, he was not surprised.  
  
But the door was open to him, and as he stood in the threshold of the apartment, looking into the rooms that felt foreign, he promised himself: I will be welcome here. This will be my home again-this is where my life is, I just have to keep fighting.  
  
He sighed and looked down at Kiu, who was staring at Gabumon as though she'd never seen the like before. Which, of course, she hadn't.  
  
TK smiled wanly at Gabumon, mentally reminding himself that the digimon didn't know him. Then he glanced at the elevator, at his past that had just run through his fingers like water, and found he didn't care what Gabumon knew.  
  
"Well, that didn't go well, did it? At least you stuck around, Gabumon."  
  
Gabumon started at the sound of his name, and blushed when he realized he'd been staring. He stuttered slightly as he attempted a belated reply, watching TK step inside the apartment, leading an exceedingly curious Kiu. "How do you know my name?"  
  
TK shrugged, a tired look in his eyes. "How do I know anything? No-don't answer that, I was just thinking out loud. I know about the Digital World, I was there, you know."  
  
He was unconsciously rubbing his wrists as he spoke, where angry white scars still told a sad tale. He laughed, quietly, hollowly. "I-I don't know what to do now, though. I thought-I don't know. I don't know what to do now."  
  
He looked so young, suddenly, and his eyes pleaded with Gabumon for help, as though he couldn't withstand the grief and disappointment without help. The digimon felt his heart go out to the boy, the Child of Hope, suddenly helpless amid the ruins despair had left of his family.  
  
"Maybe I could tell you what's been going on since you-uh-left."  
  
TK, lifting his eyes to the creature before him, his brother's partner, smiled in a way that made Gabumon feel instantly better, as though the Hope in TK had reached out and touched him, like Kari's Light had so often. That's when the ramifications hit the rookie, the ramifications for the Digital World. Hope had returned.  
  
Suddenly, he had a lot to tell the boy before him.  
  
*********  
  
Sergeant Mark Hashiba, head of Missing Persons, hung up the phone with a frustrated click. Some days, it felt like everyone was out to fight him, and it was only just after noon. His day had started badly, with his kids leaving late for school, making him late for work, and now his detectives, all overburdened in the heat wave that made people do stupid things, were starting to subtly rebel. They were the usual complaints: too many cases, to few officers; too little pay, too small a budget; the coffee was too cold, the office was too warm, the fax machine was possessed, the printers were the spawn of Satan, it was his fault.  
  
The air conditioning made fitful sputtering noises, not that the antique system did much to cool the building, but it was all they had, and if it went, he was sure his officers would walk out. Praying it would not collapse on him like everything else around here, he looked up at a knock on the door to his not-so-private office.  
  
A familiar looking blond teenager was standing there, a nervous look on his face. He seemed to take a deep breath, and the spoke. "You're Sergeant Hashiba?"  
  
Hashiba nodded, gesturing for the boy to enter and take a seat. A priest, accompanying the boy, stood silently in the doorway after giving the boy a stern but encouraging nod. "Yes, that's me. What can I do for you, son?"  
  
The boy entered, but did not sit. He glanced around as though regretting his decision to come here, although, by the look on the priest's face, perhaps it had not been the boy's idea to come here at all. "I think you worked on my case, sir. My name is Ishida Takeru." 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer:  After supporting myself and putting myself through college, I find I have very little money for the purchase of multi-national media corporations.  I do not, therefore, own Digimon.  The management thanks you for your concern.

AN:  Ummm… yeah, so I'm finally updating.  There's not a lot of action in this chapter, although there is some important character development and a cameo from a rarely heard from character.  Also included is the last of the reunions, so please enjoy!  

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.  

Chapter 13 

_"People who think dying is the worst thing don't know a thing about life."_

The Secret Life of Bees Sue Monk Kidd 

Nancy Takaishi had worked long and hard to earn her corner office, complete with secretary.  After the divorce, work had been all she had left, that, and alcohol.  She remained in control of her life by never letting her drinking interfere with her career.  Her parents had implored her to return to France, to find work there, but she had refused.  She had to be here, in Tokyo, in Odaiba.  

When he came home, she would be here… in the same apartment.  She would not, could not, turn her back to him again.  

She could not give up hope, no mother would.  That was why she couldn't visit Matt anymore…he and Malcolm had given up, and moved on with their lives.

Nancy could not move on, so she worked, worked harder than she ever had before, until she became the Editor of the political news columns, until she had her own office and a secretary.  She ran as fast as she could, because staying in one place was harder than moving on.

Nancy would not give up hope, so she drank when she ran out of work, because hope is blisteringly painful and must be numbed.  Malcolm and Matt had despair and it kept them alive and together, a strange sustaining darkness, but she had hope, and although it felt like walking on the sun, painful and beautiful like fire, consuming and destroying, she could not let it go.

The afternoon sunlight shafted lazily through the windows that made up two walls of her office, but Nancy was cool, her air conditioning keeping out the searing heat that came hand-in-hand with the beautiful light.  She had her heels kicked off beneath the desk, and was currently staring at the screen, reading the same article for the fifth time, attempting to make the words form meanings in her mind, trying to bend her entire attention to the task at hand.  

Her secretary, Sandy, a mother herself with two small children, walked abruptly into the office without knocking, causing Nancy to start up from her chair, with her feet bare and a censure on her lips.  The look on the younger woman's face stayed her tongue, however, a look that wanted to be joy, but wasn't sure how to form the correct type of joy, or even if joy was what should be shown.  

"Ms. Takaishi—I'm sorry, I'm just, I can't believe—"

Nancy came around the desk, trying to project calm.  "Good heavens, Sandy, what is it?  Is it your kids?"

The young brunette smiled… yes, joy for this moment, a great and wonderful joy.

"No, Ma'am.  It's yours.  Your ex-husband called… he said… they found your son."

Later, Nancy would recall that the words had seemed to fall like stones into the sudden pool of quiet around her, like a dream in which the sound rushed into silence so suddenly that her ears rang from the force of it.  Then the silence opened up to the sounds beneath her consciousness that welled up around her like thunder, the beat of her heart and the ragged sound of her breathing that drowned out her thoughts.

A voice not her own asked detached questions, as she fumbled beneath her desk to slide her suddenly sweaty feet into her suede pumps, cursing finally and ducking beneath her desk to put them on by hand.  Despite Sandy's warning, Nancy slammed her head into the desk on the way up, the hollow thud breaking into her reverie.

Sandy hid a smile behind her hand as Nancy shoved papers into her briefcase, her desk clock and half a bagel following the documents into the case.  The harried mother noticed none of this as she instructed the secretary to reschedule all her meetings for that day and the next, and to send all incoming articles to other editors.  Finally she was out the door, running through the newsroom as though someone was chasing her, causing many of her co-workers to stare after her retreating form.  When they looked towards Sandy for explanation, the circumspect secretary gave them a glare only a mother is capable of, causing them to cringe and return to their tasks.  There was no way she was going to tell a room full of reporters that a boy had returned after being missing for twelve years. 

With a final glare around the room to stifle any gossip, Sandy sat at her desk with a secret smile to work her way through Nancy's schedule.

TK was sitting in Sergeant Hashiba's office, enduring the curious stares of the other officers, who kept finding excuses to pass the small room, his patience quickly eroding.  For identification purposes, he had been fingerprinted and had rubbed a cotton swab inside his cheek for a DNA sample that would be compared to his parents' DNA, which they would donate when they arrived.  Most of the cops were taking him at his word, however, and as he sat sipping the weak tea they had given him, he saw the sergeant preparing to question him, with a young woman in a rumpled suit who sat down beside TK as though she was an old friend.

"Well.  Takeru.  Ahhhhh… I have someone we'd like you to speak to before your parents arrive.  Miss Chiyo here is from children's services.  She has some important things to discuss with you, about what's going to happen now."

TK looked between the two well-meaning adults, beginning to see that coming home was infinitely more complicated than he'd anticipated. 

"Children's services?  What do you mean?"

Miss Chiyo smiled at him as if he were five, laying her hand comfortingly on his.  "Well, Takeru, there are some things that we'll have to deal with before you can go home with your parents.  We'll want you to speak to our therapist, of course, and see a physician, and there is the matter of your schooling, and your citizenship—and, then, we'll have to address the custody issue."

TK eyed her sharply, feigning ignorance of the fact that his parents were divorced.  "Custody?  What do you mean?"

Miss Chiyo looked uncomfortable, but her well-practiced smile did not falter.  "Well, Takeru, I suppose there is no easy way to tell you this… your parents divorced shortly after you were… lost."

TK turned his face away from them quickly, so they wouldn't be able to see that he wasn't shocked.  Miss Chiyo reacted exactly as he'd hoped, gripping his hand comfortingly and continuing to speak in her gentlest voice.

"Oh, I know this is an awful shock for you, dear.  We'll arrange a custody hearing for as soon as possible, so you'll only be in foster care for a short while—"

Now TK really was shocked, his eyes widening as he tried to jerk his hand away from the woman, who kept it in a tenacious grip.  "Foster care!  Are you kidding?  I spent the last twelve years in foster care!  I just want to go home!"

Somewhere during his little tirade he had stood, glaring down on the woman.  In the silence that followed the outburst, a single wavering voice spoke hesitantly.

"Oh, god!  TK!"

TK's heart skipped a beat at the sound of that voice, and he turned to see his mother standing just outside the office, gripping the doorframe as though her life depended on its support.  In that moment, perhaps it did.  Behind her, silent but equally shocked, was his father, who showed every sign of having sprinted across the city on foot.

Until that moment, TK had no idea how much he'd missed his parents, how much he'd wanted and wished for his mother through the nightmares, how he'd wished he could remember something, anything about his father.  In all the confusion with his Crest and the Digital World, and in his need to be strong to face the fights ahead, he'd almost convinced himself that he didn't need them anymore.

"Mama?"

That was all he had time for before he buried his face in her neck, his tears soaking the shoulder of her suit.  She was shaking as she hugged him back, tears streaming down her face, soaking into his hair.  Her hands rubbed soothing, comforting circles on his back, and her voice took on the soft, comforting tone every child longs to hear upon waking from a nightmare.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here now.  Everything's going to be okay, I promise.  Shhh… it's okay, let it out, let it out…"

The office, and indeed the room full of officers beyond it, fell silent as the two hugged fiercely, until TK recovered himself enough to step away, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.  Squeezing his mother's hands comfortingly, he turned to his father.  The older Ishida stood somewhat stiffly, wanting to hug his son but unable to interrupt the scene before him.  The tall young man who couldn't be his son, so much taller and older than Malcolm ever could have imagined, looked deep into his eyes for a long moment.  There was a pause—a hesitation—a moment of silence and uncertainty that stretched eternal, but brief.

The boy—_Takeru_—smiled.  His son!

Malcolm smiled back.

"The miserable have no other medicine 

_But only hope."_

_William Shakespeare_

Joe had reached that place in his life when education and the harsh realities of the world make it hard to hold onto any sort of faith in a higher calling for humanity.  Come too young and too early into the fiercely scientific, often godless world of medicine, a place where words like 'miracle' and 'hope' were heard more often than anyplace other than a church, Joe found that hospitals, like many churches, were places to find much faithfulness and not many results of said faith.  It frequently seemed to him that the sicker people were, the harder they prayed, and those faithful people so often died before his eyes.

Too often, and so despite the many miracles he had seen in his life, the great evidence of the forces of good with which he had stood and fought, Joe realized as he entered the hospital that day that he had, somewhere along the line, stopped believing in a lot of things.  He slipped into the staff room to change into his blue intern's uniform, clipping his ID card on with a disenchanted sigh, wondering silently when he had switched from saving lives to an almost desperate battle to stop deaths.  There was a tremendous difference between the two, he knew, an echoing void that he couldn't remember crossing, suddenly standing, looking back at his lost idealism with the air of a soldier who has forgotten why he's even fighting.

Without bothering to check his appearance in his locker's tiny, utilitarian mirror, he headed out to the nurses' station, looking for a case to help out on.  He wasn't a med student yet, technically, so he couldn't handle emergencies or diagnose anything officially, but he could do pre-exam work ups and physicals, saving the nurses and doctors a lot of time for more challenging cases.  The emergency room was, as usual, packed with people, who flocked into the many wards in Tokyo during the hot weather, suffering innumerable cases of heat stroke, heart attack, and general injuries.  Their combined body heat very nearly overwhelmed the hospital's air conditioning, and the ever present smell of disinfectant and misery was overlaid with a stifling stench of sweat and impatience.  

It was going to be a very long afternoon, Joe thought, his natural pessimism getting the better of him.  Reaching the desk, he flipped through the charts, perusing them absently while watching a cluster of police officers near exam one with curiosity.  Suddenly, a name on one of the charts caused him to start, giving his entire attention to the metal encased folder in his hand. 

Ishida Takeru

Age: 15

Height…

He stared at the chart for a long moment, thinking that it had to be someone else.  It had to be… there was no way, after twelve years, that—but Matt's parents' addresses were listed, both of them, although the state was named pro-tem guardian.  Sure, he'd heard the rumor circulating the destined, that Kari had stolen the Crest of Hope from Matt; that something profound was happening to the code of the digital world.  But all that couldn't possibly be centered on one person, or two people if you counted Kari in the equation, which Joe felt instinctively he should.  Nothing made sense, but Joe felt the answer was before him somehow, and he smiled as he remembered Izzy describing a similar feeling just the other day when monitoring the digital world.  

Suddenly possessed of a deep desire to see this for himself, to know, once and for all what was true, Joe grasped the chart and headed resolutely towards exam one.  The chart indicated that Takeru needed a physical examination, a blood test, and several other routine lab tests, all things that Joe was empowered to do.  

The chart and an efficient, official manner got him past the officers and Matt's parents, neither of whom recognized him although they'd each met him more than once.  Pulling the starchy white curtain shut behind him, Joe looked at the boy seated before him on the gurney, set in stark relief by the harsh clinical lighting of the hospital.  The boy did bear a striking resemblance to Matt, similar in build and coloring to the Bearer of Friendship.  Then dark blue eyes swung up to meet his, and the resemblance faded.  Recognition lit the bright eyes, and a smile blossomed on the face of the younger boy, dispelling the last of the resemblance to Matt.

"Joe!"

The intern in question started, and then squinted at his nametag to see the name printed there… yes, it still only bore his family name.  There was no way this boy could have known the name only a few of his closest friends and family knew.  Not even his co-workers called him that.

Maintaining a professional tone, he asked, "I'm sorry, have I met you somewhere?"

TK's smile dimmed slightly, but he answered in a confident, if quieter voice.  "I was… I went to the Digital World.  I know… all of it.  I barely survived all of it, but I know.  God help me, I know."

"Hope is the struggle of the soul, breaking loose from what is perishable, and attesting her eternity."

_Herman Melville_

TK watched Joe's face while he assimilated this statement, wondering what was running through the older boy's mind at that moment.  He gave him a minute longer to think, and then asked the question that had been bothering him for a while.  He knew he could get an honest answer from Joe, unlike Kari who might try to protect him from the harsher facts.

"Joe… what happened to my brother?"

Joe almost lost his grip on the chart he was holding, his face draining of color like water running through loose earth.  "Oh my God, it's really you!  But—how—what—how—?"

TK sighed inwardly, knowing in his heart that he couldn't answer those questions, not even for himself.  So he answered as truthfully as he could, hoping to pull Joe back to his original question.  "Matt needs me… and they're finally letting me help him.  But before I can do that, I have to understand what's happened here."

Joe smiled wryly at the teen, his disbelief and awe fading into a different, nervous feeling, almost like anticipation.  "I don't know if I'm the best one to help you with that.  I can't say I fully understand all that has happened.  To put it briefly, Matt and Tai never found a common ground, except maybe their mutual attraction for Sora… and then…"

TK's eyes filled with understanding and remorse.  "And the Sora chose Tai.  I see… I don't think I can fix that… maybe if Matt accepts me…"

Regaining his equilibrium, Joe smiled at this.  "Are you kidding?  Matt will be thrilled when he sees you!  I wish I could be there to see his face… what's wrong?"

His eyes full of a deep grief, TK whispered a soft reply.  "He's already… he wasn't thrilled to see me.  He just wasn't ready for me. I don't think… I shouldn't have gone to him first… but I just couldn't, I wanted… Oh, never mind, it will all work out in the end."

Suddenly understanding, Joe laid a comforting, brotherly hand on TK's shoulder.  "Hang on to that attitude, Takeru.  Not because you're Hope and you should, but because believing it will make it true.  Believing it may be the only thing that will make it true… look at what Kari did with a little bit of hope.  Imagine what you could do with more.  Make it true, TK.  Make it forever."

The Crest of Hope warmed under TK's shirt, echoing Joe's words silently to the boy.  The blond smiled softly, grasping the hand on his shoulder warmly.  "When did you get so wise?"

"You asked me for advice.  Far be it from me to let you, or anyone, down."

TK's smile warmed further as he released Joe's hand, the light of his Crest becoming visible to the older boy for a brief moment.  "Good old, reliable Joe.  I don't understand how people can keep underestimating you, but I know I won't again."   

Blushing straight across his nose, Joe fumbled slightly with the chart he'd forgotten he was holding.  Honestly, he didn't know where his sudden change in attitude had come from… when he had arrived at work that day, he would never have had those wise words for anyone.  Make it forever?  What had he even meant by that?  Shaking himself, he focused on his professional obligations, a technique that never failed him in awkward situations.  

"Well, ahem, we should get on with the examination, and then I'll have to get a blood sample and a urine sample.  Could you please remove your shirt?"

An oddly familiar, shuttered expression crossed TK's face, and after a brief hesitation he complied with the command.  It wasn't until the tan back was exposed to him, with its thin threads of white scarring creating a horribly telling pattern that Joe recognized the expression.  It was the look of an abuse victim who has unwillingly accepted that their secret is no longer their own.  Matching white scars laced up the boy's wrists and lower arms… restraint scars… defensive wounds…  he'd fought back.  For himself, perhaps for all of them, he'd fought back.

TK was tense, obviously waiting for some concerned question or exclamation of horror.  Joe was silent for a long moment, breathing deeply and willing his composure not to abandon him. "You know, I think it's you that we've all been underestimating."

Questioning eyes met his, but his steady expression refused to falter.  A sturdy expression of pride and understanding, a look from one warrior to another, a gaze that acknowledged the scars as evidence of a battle won, not lost.  Joe was not without scars of his own, after all.

TK said nothing as Joe continued in a business-like manner, "I'll need to photograph those for the report before we move on… you'll have to decide on a story to tell the police."

Nodding firmly, TK spoke softly.  "That's fine… I'll think of something."

"You save yourself or you remain unsaved."

Lucky Alice Sebold 

Late that evening, he was back in the Jesuit monastery, the most convenient place for Children's Services to send him.  When his blood tests came back, he would be forced to decide between his parents, a choice he hadn't had in that alternate past.  A choice he wasn't sure he was capable of making… his father and brother, or his mother?  Matt needed saving, but so did his mother, in her own way.  How had it fallen down to this?  How much could one person really change?  Could he really stand against a tide that was so obviously against him?

How could he help them when he could barely get himself to sleep at night?

Swiftly walking through the darkened corridors, he climbed up into the bell tower, fearlessly scaling out of the window on the last landing and onto the chapel roof, settling himself against the gentle slope.  He'd e-mailed Kari from the hospital so she'd know where he was and why he couldn't meet her.  

Kari… there was a whole different set of problems, ones that he couldn't even begin to approach.  

Laying back, he gazed up at the dark blue sky above him, with its few stars still visible through the lights of the city.  The humid air was filled with the sounds of millions of people living on top of each other, the noise of voices and music and cars and so many, many lives lived simultaneously and independently in such a small area.  The sky darkened and evening fell around him, and TK struggled to find his faith as he watched those lonely stars fighting against the light of the city.  

It didn't feel like coming home.

And he didn't feel hopeful.

Or strong… or wise… he just felt… alone.

In the growing quiet of the night, TK stared up at the heavens from his high perch between sculpted angels and gargoyles, feeling abandoned and unmoored between the great plans of good and the lingering turmoil of evil.  He felt like those stars, alone in the cold sky… lost between dark and light… neither helping him, both pushing him away from what he wanted to be…

"I don't know what to do… I don't know how to fix this… it still hurts and I still have nightmares and the dark still scares me and… and… and I wish I knew what you want from me.  I don't think I can do this… not alone… I don't even have Matt anymore and it's not fair!  It's not!  Matt needs saving and my mother needs saving and the world needs saving and I can't even save myself!  What am I supposed to DO?"

His voice broke and he covered his face with his hands, continuing softly, "I need help… I need someone to help me through this…"

"I'll help you, TK," spoke a small voice from beside him.

TK sat up so quickly he almost slid right off the roof, just catching himself before the four-story drop.  The small digimon that had appeared beside him squeaked in alarm at his sudden movement, jumping into the boy's lap as though to secure him onto the roof.  

"Patamon!  How did—when did you get here?"

Patamon stared up at his partner with misty eyes, a wistful smile on his chubby little face.  "I heard everything you said… you don't have to be afraid anymore, TK.  I'll protect you, that's what I'm here for!  I'll always be there to save you…"

He trailed off as TK shut his eyes, breathing shakily for a few long moments, his face hard to read in the gathering dark.  When the boy finally opened his eyes they were suspiciously bright, and his voice was just a shade less than steady when he replied.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now."

Patamon merely buried his face in TK's shirt, breathing in the scent of his partner that, despite the many changes in his appearance, hadn't changed at all in twelve years.  They stayed that way for a long moment, with TK petting the digimon comfortingly until the small creature was capable of replying.

"You have no idea how much I needed to say it." 

Review?  Tuppence?  Feed the birds?


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer:  If you want to know where my money is, please contact FAFSA, and the Sallie Mae finance organization.  They own my butt.  I accordingly, don't own digimon.  

AN:  Okay, this is a really long chapter, but a lot happens.  When I say a lot happens, I mean A LOT happens.  My advice to you is to read with care… there's a great deal of important symbolism and subtle hints as to what's going to happen in the future.

Happy reading, and please review!

"Exiles look at non-exiles with resentment.  They belong in their surroundings, you feel, whereas an exile is always out of place.  What is it like to be born in a place, to stay and live there, to know that you are of it, more or less forever?"

_Edward Said_

_"Reflections on Exile"_

Starting school would have been easier, TK felt, if his face hadn't been plastered all over the news for the past two days.  Kari had laughed until she cried at the baby pictures of him on the front page of the Tokyo newspapers.  Not that he could blame her, of course, if the pictures hadn't been of him, he would have found it hilarious.  Now, as he stood in front of the principal's office waiting to be escorted to his homeroom, he could see the students pointing at him and whispering not so discretely behind their hands.  For the first time since Kari had given it to him, TK felt an overwhelming urge to don his hat… he'd never realized why he'd been so attached to it… in the past, so to speak.  He knew he wouldn't be half as conspicuous if he wasn't one of only two blondes in the entire high school… a hat would have hidden his bright hair, at least.  The hat provided a tremendous buffer to the outside world by hiding how different he looked and helping him blend in.  

The strict dress code left him no such protection, however, so TK merely ducked his head, allowing his bangs to fall in front of his face, shielding himself somewhat from the stares.  He glanced up in time to see Kari pass by with her friends, gracefully pretending she didn't know him, but throwing him a smile somewhat warmer and much more comforting than a stranger would warrant.  That was all he'd needed, though, that secret smile to hold onto, the reassurance that he knew someone, that he was not alone in this.

Kari's smile reminded him that he wouldn't ever be alone, in this or anything.  It also reminded him that he had a disgruntled but determined Patamon stuffed into his backpack, who had refused point blank to let him out of his sight for more than a few minutes since their reunion two days before.  Not that TK had minded, really, as he had frequently needed someone sane to talk to in the chaos of placement tests and psychological exams.  He had been pleased to find that, due to the mostly one-on-one education he had received in the convent, he was not far behind his Japanese peers, except in Japanese history and literature, and that he was in fact ahead of them in foreign languages, American history, and western literature.  It was a great relief to him to know that he would be in the same grade level as Kari and even Davis.

"Hey."

TK jumped, startled, and glanced up in surprise to see Yamato standing before him, silhouetted in shade against the pale morning light streaming through the school doors.  The glare made it hard to read the older boy's face, but TK thought he saw an almost hesitant neutrality there, as though Matt was suppressing something he wanted to say.  They hadn't spoken since their disastrous reunion, much to the chagrin and bewilderment of their parents, who couldn't imagine what had come between the once inseparable brothers.

TK replied softly, not really knowing what to say.  "Good morning…"

/Don't reject me! /  TK wondered if his thoughts were evident on his face.

Matt was silent for a moment, his expression inscrutable, before speaking again.  "Dad said you placed well in your exams."

/Are you proud of me? / 

TK shrugged, smiling slightly.  "I did OK, I guess."

Looking into the morning light, Matt seemed to collect himself before glancing back at his brother.  TK was cast in the full sunlight before him, the colors of his uniform and hair blazing in the strength of the summer sun.  The light was almost too bright to look at.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, then."  Matt turned away, heading quickly and with exaggerated casualness down the corridor.  TK pushed himself off the wall, staring at his brother's figure as he strode away.  

Then, in that parting moment, he saw it.  Just as Kari had described it, the color and life seemed to drain away from Matt, and to TK's eyes he was not walking down the hall but into an ocean of shadow.  The shadows seemed to stretch through the hall, entwining around Matt and reaching hungrily towards TK.  As it neared, the sunlight from the doors seemed to flare around him, eclipsing the light of his crest that had stirred to life beneath his uniform.  The light burned through him, waking him from his shocked stupor.

/No… NO!  Say something, stupid! Stop this!  Say something now!! /

"MATT!"

The people who had faded from his notice reappeared, staring at him as he shouted down the hall, not seeming to see the Shadow or the Light.  The Shadow vanished like the pale remnants of nightmare but the blazing Light remained, burning through him like compelling fire.  He struggled for a moment, fighting the light and his crest, struggling for his own voice with which to speak… his own words to say.

/I am the dawn, the rising force.  Take my hand and step away from the Shadow.  I am the first to rise and the last to fall.  Let me be your shelter.  Let me lend you Hope. /

/Hmph… how about letting ME handle this? /

Matt had turned back, the shadow leaving him, but TK knew it was a reprieve that could not last.

"Ummm… can we talk?  Later tonight?"

Matt stared back at him for a long moment, through the bustling crowds of students growing blissfully about their ordinary lives; unaware of what lay beneath the light and shadows through which they so blithely walked.

"I have band practice."

"It's important…please?"

Time seemed to stretch out between the brothers, and Matt bit his lip, considering his options carefully.  Finally he conceded to the pleading in his brother's eyes, just as he'd known he would all along.  Twelve years later and it was still impossible to say no to those sad, begging eyes.  "Alright, I'll meet you after practice… where are you staying, again?"

TK grimaced, shifting his laden book bag slightly.  "I'm staying with the Jesuits until… until I decide, I guess."

The tension that had almost disappeared leapt to the fore once more, and Matt seemed sobered by the reminder of their situation.  "Oh… well, I'll meet you there at seven-ish, okay?"

Smiling brilliantly, TK nodded enthusiastically.  "That would be great.  Thanks."

After a second, Matt smiled back, hesitantly, as though the gesture was unfamiliar to him.  "Don't mention it."

Still smiling, TK turned as the principal touched his shoulder gently, indicating that he should follow her.  Things were definitely beginning to look up… now if only they would stay that way.

She's like the wind 

_Through my trees_

_She rides the night _

_Next to me_

_She leads me through moonlight_

_Only to burn me with the sun_

_She's taken my heart_

_And she doesn't know what she's done…_

_Just a fool to believe I could be anything she needs…_

_She's like the wind…_

_"She's like the Wind"_

_Dirty Dancing_

Slam!

Bounce… bounce…

Slam!

Davis was not happy with the way his day had been going thus far, and it was only just after three.  Catching the rebounding soccer ball on his calf, he allowed it to settle onto the grass before sending it again towards the concrete wall of the school.  He continued the soothing rhythm of the exercise, taking pleasure in the increasingly loud sound the ball was making as it struck the wall.  The sun beat down on the mostly deserted schoolyard, the blazing heat having sent almost all of the students fleeing for their homes as soon as school let out.  He would have gone home himself, if not for the meeting they were supposed to be having in the Digital World this very moment.

Supposed to be having… if Kari hadn't wanted to wait for HIM.

Bounce…bounce… SLAM!

HE had showed up in their homeroom this morning, to the surprise and excitement of most of the rest of the class… especially the girls.  They thought the fact that he had been kidnapped as a child and had survived to come back was the most amazing thing they had ever heard.  In all honesty, Davis had felt pretty bad for the guy when he'd seen him in all the newspapers… it had to be really hard, losing your whole life like that.  Jun could be a pain sometimes, but he'd never want to be taken from his family, certainly not for twelve years… and then to have your misfortune plastered all over the news? No, thank you!

So, he'd felt understandably bad for the guy… until he showed up in class and smiled at Kari in a way that made the rest of the class feel invisible.  As if that wasn't bad enough, Kari had smiled back at him in the same strange way, as though they knew each other, and they both knew something the rest of the world would never be able to guess.

It wasn't until lunch that Davis found out what the secret smiles were about… TP, it turned out, was the missing digi-destined of Hope.  Kari had known his brother well in the digital world, so she wanted to help TS, and planned to show him around the digital world that afternoon and introduce him to the others.    

Davis wanted to show him something, all right… preferably the door.

Kari had been adamant, however, as had Yolei, when she'd met TD at lunch.  Cody had also been enthusiastic, in his own quiet way, when he'd heard the news after school.  All in all, TF had gotten along well with everyone, although he'd stuck to Kari's side for most of the day.  She hadn't seemed to mind, either… Davis knew Kari to be a friendly girl, but he'd never seen her open up to anyone so fast, even a digi-destined.  It really was like they knew each other, but that was impossible.

Wasn't it?

Only two people knew the truth, and Davis didn't feel particularly inclined to ask either of them.

SLAM!  CRASH!

"Crap!"  Davis spat as his soccer ball bounced off a tree and into some decorative bushes outside of the main office.  With his luck, he'd end up suspended on top of everything else.  Creeping over to where his ball had landed, Davis inspected the bushes for any permanent damage.  There didn't seem to be any, so after lamely attempting to shake them back into their original shapes, Davis grabbed his ball and began to execute a strategic retreat.

"Can you tell me how much you _do_ remember?"

"Nothing, really… the first thing I remember clearly is the convent."

"Nothing before that?"

"Just… just darkness."

Davis started as he recognized TK's voice… and then remembered he'd had an appointment after school, with the state's psychiatrist.  His conscience told him he should leave, but a sudden curiosity made him pause.

"And while you lived in Alaska, some twelve years, you remembered nothing of your life here?"

"No, nothing."

"And… your scars?  You have no idea how you got them?"

"No.  I don't remember anything from… just darkness, that's all."

"Darkness?  You were in a dark place?  A basement, perhaps?"

"Maybe… I really couldn't say.  I'm sorry I can't be more helpful…"

"Nonsense, Takeru.  You're being more helpful than you know."

"TK."

"I'm sorry…?"

"My name… it's TK."

"Of course.  Now… you realize that the scars on your wrists appear to be restraint scars."

"Yes, that's what Jo—the doctors told me."

"The doctors believe you were chained for an extended period of time… possibly for several months… and you remember nothing of this?"

"No… I'm sorry, I just don't remember any of it."

Suddenly overwhelmed with guilt for overhearing such a private exchange, Davis crept away, pondering over what he'd heard.  Scars… chains… where could he have been…?  It couldn't have something to do with the Digital World, could it?  No longer angry but with a great deal to think about, Davis resumed bouncing his ball off the side of the building, allowing the steady rhythm to lull him back into a meditative state.  

Like barley bending 

_In low fields by the sea,_

_Singing in the hard wind_

_Ceaselessly;_

_Like barley bending_

_And rising again,_

_So would I, unbroken,_

_Rise from pain;_

_So would I softly,_

_Day and night long,_

_Change my sorrow_

_Into song._

_"Like Barley Bending"_

_Sarah Teasdale_

"TK!  Over here!"

Cody waved his hand to the taller boy, attempting to attract his attention.  TK stared at him for a long moment before he seemed to see the smaller boy, coming over to where he waited in the computer lab with the other new digi-destined children.  Kari frowned at him in concern, noting the exhausted look in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice laced with worry.

TK shrugged, rubbing his wrists absently.  "I'm okay… no really!  That was just a… longer session than I'd expected.  Don't worry about me."

Pressing her lips into a thin line, Kari gave TK a stern look that promised him he'd be hearing more about this later, when they were alone and she could speak freely.  Until then she allowed her expression to convey her displeasure, despite the tired but disarming smile he gave in reply.

"Are we going, already?" Patamon asked, also hoping to get TK alone, and thinking that the Digital world would give him ample opportunity for that.  He'd almost jumped out of TK's backpack and attacked that psychiatrist woman for the questions she had been asking.  Only his partner's stern hold on the bag's zipper had restrained him.  TK had already given him a lecture on self-control on their way here, although Patamon didn't plan on listening to any of it.  He understood that people were going to ask his Chosen child painful questions, but that certainly didn't mean he had to like it.

He didn't plan on ever liking it.

TK took at deep breath, looking at the computer screen with a slightly wary expression.  This would be his first time in the digital world since… since then.  "Yeah… I'm ready when you guys are."

Davis glanced at him with a thoughtful expression, before nodding decisively.  "Let's go, then!"

With a whir of the modem and a flash of light, they were gone.

Gennai stood at the mouth of a cave, waiting patiently.  His patience was soon rewarded as the TV in front if him lit up for a moment before spitting out five teenagers and their partners, who materialized before his eyes.  As the last two teens fully appeared, Gennai felt something click deep within the code, like a chord of music rippling, powerful yet silent, through the very fabric of the world around him.  Now it was truly beginning… 

Kari gave TK's hand a firm squeeze before dropping it, smiling at the memory of his expression when she'd grabbed it right before they passed through the gate.  TK smiled sheepishly at her for a moment, before snapping his head up and looking around at the world around him.  When he looked at her with a raised eyebrow, she merely nodded, indicating that, whatever the tremor had been, she had felt it too.  She flicked her eyes toward Gennai; somewhat surprised to see the elder there… they rarely saw him since the rise of the Digimon Emperor.

But then, considering the circumstances, she wasn't terribly surprised that he would choose today of all days to appear to them.  TK seemed bemused to see the elder as well, and Patamon looked downright furious, narrowing his wide eyes when the elderly man glanced their way.

"Well, children!  What a surprise to see you all!  What brings you here this fine day?"

Even Davis snorted at that, not believing for a moment that the elder hadn't planned this meeting down to the smallest detail.  Seeing that the gig was up, as it were, Gennai approached them firmly, stopping directly in front of TK.  Patamon swelled in a rage that was unusual for the normally sweet tempered little digimon, and Kari stepped closer to the boy, projecting an aura of protective solidarity.  All three were thinking, at that moment, of the suffering that Gennai's inaction had caused for the boy.  None of them were thinking particularly forgiving thoughts, although only Patamon's currently involved violence… yet.

"You must be Takeru, the Bearer of Hope.  I owe you an apology, young man, a great one.  My mistakes were the reason you suffered, and my inability to act allowed you to remain in the clutches of Darkness for far longer than necessary.  Your survival is due entirely to your extraordinarily courageous Patamon, who went alone to a place where an army of angels would fear to tread.  I can only say in my defense that I acted always in the best interest of the digital world.  It would be too much to hope for your forgiveness."

TK wanted to be angry… he wanted to tell the man everything, everything that had been done to him on Spiral Mountain, wanted to show him the scars he bore, mentally and physically.  He wanted to grab the man and shake him, to ask him how he was supposed to repair the twelve years worth of desolation and destruction done to his family.  But something held him back, and for once it wasn't his crest.  It was Sister Augustine's voice, sliding across his memory as though she stood before him that very moment, admonition in her eyes and a sad smile on her face.  

Forgive, Takeru.  We are taught to forgive, to make allowances.  We are none of us perfect in this world.  We must judge others, as we would have them judge us, with a heart full of mercy… with a heart full of hope…

/Damn it!  Can't I just be mad for once?  For a little while? / 

"It's… it's okay… it wasn't your fault.  You did what you thought was best."  It wasn't until after he'd spoken that TK realized that he hadn't said the right words.  He had absolved Gennai of his guilt, but he hadn't said he'd forgiven him.  Maybe that was too much to hope for, for now, at least.  Sensing the boy's train of thought, Gennai nodded, not unsurprised that TK was not yet ready to forgive him.  The Child of Hope still had a lot of healing to do before he could come to terms with all that happened to him.  Until that time, any forgiveness would be shallow and incomplete, as anger must be faced before it can be released.

"Thank you for your understanding, Takeru.  I imagine you're all wondering why I'm here this afternoon—"

"No kidding!" Davis snorted, prompting an amused giggle from Vee-mon.  

The others said nothing, merely sparing Davis amused or exasperated glances.  Gennai watched the chemistry of the disjointed group, noting where each child stood and whom they each glanced at as they waited for him to continue.  Hmmm… Hope and Light seemed… it couldn't be…  what would that mean for the Digital World?  What would it mean for the dynamics of both groups of destined children?

Perhaps it would be worth encouraging… despite some choices that may be made in the future by the Powers…

Seeing that the children… the teenagers, really, were becoming antsy, he smiled slightly.  "Well, Takeru, why don't you go in and get your digi-egg, and all of you can get started cleaning up the Darkness."

TK's eyes flicked to the dark mouth of the cave and back to the elder, his expression stoic.  He wondered if that was all he was to Gennai… a tool, a weapon, along with Kari and the rest of the Chosen children.  Looking back at the cave and thinking of the weapon that lay within, TK wondered if he would ever be any more than that.  

Squaring his shoulders, he nodded slightly and headed towards the mouth of the cave, with Patamon fluttering faithfully at his side.  He'd only gotten a few steps when he heard someone fall into step behind him, without a word.  He knew without looking back that it was Kari.

Gennai watched the pair enter the cave with a speculative gleam in his eyes and a tiny, sad smile on his face.

This doubt is screaming in my face 

_In this familiar place_

_Sheltered and concealed_

_And if this night won't let me rest_

_Don't let me second guess_

_What I know to be real_

_Put away all I know for tonight_

_And maybe I just might _

_Learn to let it go…_

_Take my security from me _

_And maybe finally _

_I won't have to know everything…_

_I am against myself again_

_Trying to fit these pieces in_

_Walking on a cloud of dust to _

_Get to you…_

_I am falling into grace_

_To the unknown_

_To where you are_

_And faith makes everybody scared…_

_I am…_

_Falling into grace…_

_"Unknown"_

_Lifehouse_

The words were still screaming in his ears… the battle flashing before his eyes… the dark rings crashing and shattering…

**Pegasusmon…Flying Hope! ** 

"Are you alright, TK?"

The boy raised haunted eyes to Kari, looking at her for the first time since they began the walk home.  Neither teen had said anything when the girl had appeared beside him, walking in the opposite direction of her home.  He really didn't think he'd be able to speak, anyway… he'd forgotten what the fighting was like…  or maybe he just hadn't wanted to remember…  

He wanted to forget that he was good at it… 

**Star Shower! ** 

He wanted to forget that it was exhilarating…

**Nefertimon!  Angel of Light! ** 

He wanted to forget the feeling of loathing that had welled up in him when he saw the Darkness…

They had reached the wrought iron gate of the monastery, opening into the small gardens surrounding the several buildings maintained by the brothers.  Inside the purple dusk was falling on the neatly maintained rows of vegetables and the wild English garden, filled with heather and roses, silent in the looming dark.  Outside the gate, where they stood, the cars rushed past and people hustled down the street, brushing past the hushed teens. Over their heads, the spires of the church reached into the illuminated sky, silhouetting the wings of marble angels against the setting sun.  

TK turned away from the girl, gripping the elegantly twisted black bars of the gate between his hands, and breathing deeply, smelling the strange mix of car exhaust and roses.  He could hear Patamon snoring in his backpack that sat beside his feet, and knew that Gatomon was probably also asleep in Kari's backpack, which had appeared beside his own a moment after he'd stopped.  He leaned his forehead against the gate, attempting to calm himself.

**Rosetta Stone! ** 

"Kari… I—I don't know… I don't think I can do this."

He couldn't bear to turn around and look at her, at the girl who was so brave and unfailing, who stood like steel through all that befell her.  He heard her behind him, her breathing ragged and uneven, comforting and painful all at once.  Then her arms wrapped around his stomach, her hands grabbing fistfuls of his white uniform shirt.  She laid her head against his back, and he could feel her voice vibrate along his spine when she spoke.

"I know… I know, but TK… I'm so tired.  I'm so tired off all of this and I can't do it by myself.  I don't want to lean on you, but if you aren't there I know I'll fall…" Her whisper fell away, and for a long moment they just breathed together, she huddled against his back and he leaning against the gate.

**Pegasusmon!  Aim for the control spire! ** 

His grip tightened against the gate until his knuckles turned white.  Behind him, Kari's breathing had steadied, but he could feel her tears soaking his shirt.

**The spire!!  Nefertimon, help him! ** 

The bells began to sound in the monastery, calling the brothers to evening prayers.  The sound rippled across the pale twilight, brushing past the two warriors, quiet and forlorn in the last weak light of day.  TK felt his Crest warm against his chest, and Kari's from where it was pressed against his back.  The sound of the bells began to fill him, drowning out his thoughts, until he felt empty of everything but the sound of that ringing harmony in the summer night.

_** Flying Hope! **_

His Crest turned to fire as he twisted, turning until he was facing Kari, with her against the gate.  He could see the tracks of tears across her soft cheeks, but her eyes were dry now.  The looked out at him behind a wall of fear and anguish, and something else.  Her fingers twisted in his shirt, and he could feel the loneliness radiating off her.  He wondered if she could feel him the same way.  He wondered if she could feel how frightened he was of the Darkness, how haunted and lost he felt.  

_** Angel of Light! **_

As if in answer to his unspoken question, TK suddenly saw her Light, flaring around them both, just before she kissed him.  His Crest blazed in answer as he pressed her against the gate, deepening the kiss and ignoring the voice in his head that suggested that this was a very bad idea.  The two desperate teens fell into each other, stumbling against the immovable iron of the gate.  None of the passersby seemed to see the Light, for some reason barely giving notice to the unusual sight of the amorous pair.__

_**I had hoped… **_

_**I'm so tired…I can't fight it anymore…**_

_**NO!  You can't give up!  If you're dying, than so am I… **_

_**I hoped, too **_

_**Why won't you let me help her!  Please… **_

_**Gate of Destiny! **_

His tears mixed with hers as they fell, causing him to find his senses and break away at last.  They stood panting for a long moment, their Crests still humming with their combined energy.  It felt to TK like the earth beneath their feet was humming with their combined energy… 

Kari began to blush furiously as she realized what they'd done.  She untwined her fingers from his shirt and he stepped politely away from her, also blushing somewhat.  He rubbed his tears away with the back of his hand, attempting to pull back into himself, to center his feelings.  Kari allowed her tears to continue falling, looking up at him from beneath her bangs.

"That was stupid, wasn't it…?" She whispered, her voice remorseless.

He caught her chin, forcing her to look up at him, to see that he wasn't sorry either.  "Nothing you do is ever stupid."

She snorted.  "Wanna bet?"

He grabbed her nervously twinning fingers, lacing them through his own.  "I don't know if this is something we should… we can pursue.  Especially considering… considering everything.  But I would be lying if I said that I didn't need that… I feel more… more real now than I ever have before, in any life.  This is real, Kari, and this is the only solid thing in my life… maybe the only real, solid thing I've ever had."

Kari smiled tremulously, her tears slowly ceasing.  "This IS real, TK.  It always has been, for us.  But I don't know if…"

"You're right… we can't… let this cloud our judgment right now.  This can wait… we can wait. We should probably get to know each other outside of dreams, anyway.  We can't be like this."  TK wasn't as sure as his words sounded, he wasn't as certain as he thought he should be.  It was hard to fight desire to be selfish and irresponsible, to, just for one moment, forget the rest of the world and live purely for himself.  Standing in front of her in the fading light, it would be so easy to forget everything, to be fifteen for a short while.

But that wasn't an option for them, and they both knew it.  So it was with heavy hearts but a renewed since of unity that they pulled away from each other, smiling sadly in the gathering gloom.  Kari gathered her bag, preparing to head back towards her home.

TK caught her hand as she pulled away, smiling with no sadness but with an expression of great hope.  "Thank you Kari… thanks for being here, for letting me lean on you for awhile.  You—you can lean on me whenever you need to, I hope you know that.  I'll always be there, be strong for you."

Kari's expression of shocked pleasure doubled when raised her hands to his lips and kissed them softly. 

"No, TK.  Thank you… for everything." 

TK sighed as he shut the door of his temporary bedroom behind him, leaning against it with an exhausted sigh.  So much had happened today, all he wanted to do was fall into bed and pretend he didn't exist for a while.  Sleep for a while and hope that he didn't dream about Kari… he'd prefer a nightmare to that kind of frustration.  Pulling a still sleeping Patamon out of his bag, he set the digimon on his pillow, watching in amusement as the small creature merely sighed and curled into a deeper ball.  At least his and Kari's little light show earlier hadn't woken him.

He had only staggered part way to the bathroom when a knock sounded on his door.  Glancing at his watch, he saw it was a quarter to eight.  Who could possibly be…?

"Oh, no! I forgot about Matt!"

Raking a hand through his disheveled hair, TK opened the door cautiously, expecting to see his estranged brother standing on the other side, probably escorted by one of the Jesuits.  To his surprise, he saw just a priest standing on the other side, looking concerned.

"Ahh, Takeru, you're back.  I was just going to tell you that your father called twice this evening.  It seems no one has seen your brother since the end of school today, and he missed his band practice.  Your father wondered if he was with you.  He left a number where you can reach him… Takeru?  Takeru!  My word!  Young man, are you alright?"

TK gripped the doorframe, the blood draining from his face, unable to reply.  He knew where Matt was, beyond a shadow of a doubt.  If he hadn't been so preoccupied with other things, he may have noticed sooner.  Maybe he would have recognized the feeling of shadowed unease he'd felt so often… the metallic taste on his tongue and the tingling of guilt and fear in his veins, crawling across his skin.  The feeling of Evil.

The feeling of Despair.

He wished this hadn't happened so soon… he'd wanted more time to prepare.

Matt was in the Dark Ocean… and prepared or not, TK would have to follow him and face whatever awaited him there, now, tonight…

Looking over at his exhausted Digimon, he knew… he would have to do it. He'd have to go alone… alone into the Shadow for the second time in his life.  

The priest was shocked when the boy looked up at him, a look of fear and resolve painted over his features.  He stumbled back out of the way as the boy brushed past him, running down the hall like the devil was chasing him.

Maybe it was.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer:  I don't own it… just borrowing them for a bit. 

AN:  Good Lord, this is turning into quite a novel.  To think I originally planned a one-shot, too.  I just can't keep anything small, can I?  Well, again, this chapter is a little longer than most, but that's a good thing for you guys, I guess.  Again, keep an eye out for foreshadowing and symbolism.

Reviews are so helpful!  Thanks so much for all the wonderful ones I've gotten already!

Silence is golden 

_But I think_

_It's gonna kill me now_

_Everything I've seen_

_Never seems to fill me now_

_No one told me that the world _

_Could fall through…_

_Patience can wait for now_

_I think I've waited for too long_

_You always gave a choice_

_And the right to be wrong_

_All my life has been _

_Slipping through your hands…_

_In-between this_

_Am I going to find a way_

_To defeat this_

_Living inside yesterday?_

_"Am I Going to Find Out?"_

_Lifehouse_

The air felt too thick to breathe by the time TK reached the beach, and he pressed a hand to the painful stitch in his side.  Bending over, he could just make out the patterns his dripping sweat was making in the loose sand beneath his feet.  The beach was dark, lit only faintly by the streetlights on the distant docks, and he could hear more than see the waves pounding the shore.  Desperation had given him wings through the evening city, and as he panted before the expanse of water, shining in the moonlight before him, he realized something.

He didn't have even the faintest idea of how to get to the Dark Ocean.  

Assuming he could even get there, the next major question was how to find Matt and get him out with an absolute minimum of confrontation.  That was key… TK wasn't about to take on Dark Digimon with his bare hands, Crest or no Crest.  Being hopeful was one thing, being stupid was entirely another.  If nothing else, TK had enough problems without being stupid.  

Regaining his breath, TK stretched his sore muscles as he straightened.  He glanced helplessly at the empty beach around him, as if to find the answer patterned out in the stars or scrawled, childlike, into the sand beneath his feet.  The beach was very dark, and he could feel the old fear creeping upon him, but he pushed it away.  There was no time for that, just as there was no time for his ignorance… every moment Matt was in that place while he dawdled on this beach was a moment unforgivably lost.  

How had he done it, in that might-have-been time when Kari had been lost?  He'd followed her, how?  Pulling his Crest from beneath his shirt, he held the charm in his fist; calming his thoughts and attempting to center, to focus on the golden heat of the Crest and try to find the subtle pull that had so often lead him to Kari.  A whisper across his mind, a ripple in the expanding pool of his power indicated the distant gleam of the Crest of Light, but he pushed that familiar warmth aside.  He had to try to push through to find the Crest of Friendship, although he wasn't sure he could find a Crest other than Light.  There was a chance with Matt, though… they were brothers, after all, bound by blood.  Pushing for a long moment, he allowed himself to fall a little deeper into the luminescent pool of golden fire inside the center of his mind, always holding himself a little back from the blinding heat.  

Light?  Kari's essence appeared again on the edge of his senses, a little farther away, this time.  She was still on her way home.  But he didn't want to find her!  His Crest showed him Kari again, and TK felt a murmur of confusion from the incandescent object.  It didn't understand what he was trying to do, and he couldn't seem to focus closely enough with it to make it understand.  

_No!  Matt, MATT!  Show me Friendship… Friendship!_

His quickly building frustration threw him out of his trance, finally, and TK rotated the tension from his shoulders, trying not to notice the slightly queasy feeling he was getting from concentrating so entirely on his interior self.  The stars over his head wavered slightly in his vision, and he blinked slowly until they stopped moving.  

This wasn't working… all he could find was Light and that did him absolutely no good right now.  All this activity with his Crest was going to alert Patamon and quite possibly Kari soon, too.  He eyed the object in his hand, still bright from his earlier trance, the innocuous charm and its telling symbol of a rising sun, as much a part of him as his hand or his eyes, and yet so foreign at times.  TK took a deep breath, knowing what he had to do, but not looking forward to it at all.  He had only done this once before, and that had been so long ago that it seemed almost as though it had happened to someone else.  Sensing his intent, the Crest of Hope grew brilliant in his hand, the light banishing the shadows clinging to the soft dunes around him.  Closing his eyes, TK brought the Crest to his heart, holding there in his tightly clenched fingers.

Exhaling, he let go of his conscious self, released everything he was, all of the memories, all of the pain, everything that made him TK, right up to his innermost sense of himself, centered deeply by his love of Kari… and his love for Matt.  He released all of it, dropping deep into the Crest of Hope, allowing the Crest to sweep forward, taking everything with it until he was nameless and empty within, everything that he was having been released.  There was a moment of silence in that everlasting place in the center of his soul before his Crest acted, filling all that he had emptied for it with light and fire, with water and wind and time and strength.  Then, as the power peaked within him, TK released the memories of Kari and Matt and allowed Hope to take hold completely.

The boy's clenched hands dropped to his sides, the fingers falling open as he opened his eyes to the portal that formed effortlessly before him, into the dark Ocean beyond… and within him, only Hope remained.

_Day, you have bruised and beaten me,_

_As the rain beats down the bright, proud sea,_

_Beaten my body, bruised my soul,_

_Left me nothing lovely or whole—_

_Yet I have wrested a gift from you,_

_Day that dies in dusky blue:_

_For suddenly over the factories,_

_I saw a moon in the cloudy seas—_

_A wisp of beauty all alone,_

_In a world as hard and gray as stone—_

_Oh who could be bitter and want to die_

_When a maiden moon wakes up in the sky?_

_"The New Moon"_

_Sarah Teasdale_

There was no time in this dark place, wherever it was.  Or perhaps it was just that, once there, time ceased to matter, counted and observed or not.  Everything ceased to matter in this place; even the sand in his shoes and the grimy feeling the briny air was leaving on his skin and hair.  Even the memories of the people he loved, who couldn't love him, and the aching empty holes that had brought him here, even they did not matter.

Had anything ever mattered?

Matt didn't know anymore, he wasn't sure if he'd ever known.  Thinking that far back made him tired and depressed… memories were useless, why keep them?  All they brought was pain, small aches through the days and weeks and months and years that eventually mounted up to an emotional hemorrhage from which there could be no recovery.  It was funny how you didn't notice depression until you looked up and realized that a wall of slick gray ice had removed you from the rest of the world, and all the people around you were feeling and living normally, and you were merely imitating life as you saw it, not as you felt it, and in a mediocre way, at that.  As though you ran and ran and ran and could never keep up with everyone else, jogging so effortlessly and happily ahead of you, leaving you behind to your darkness and pain.  

Matt didn't feel like running anymore, it wasn't as though he could ever catch up.  Everyone was better than him, everyone found life so easy and he was such a failure, even TK, who had been through so much, was better off than he.  Matt's wounded soul shied away from the painful subject of TK, shied away from the bottomless ocean of loss and failure that had so long accompanied any thought of the younger boy.  

Burying his face in his knees, Matt tried to make himself smaller in the descending darkness of the colorless beach, wishing with all his soul that he could simply fade away, become invisible, become nothing, to disappear from the world from the memories of all who knew him, to know rest and freedom from pain.  Oh, how he longed to fade into oblivion, loosing his grief and guilt into the summer wind, to be scattered across the emotionless sea.

All around his huddled form, shadows grew, lingering with greater strength and boldness as the hopelessly lost boy allowed his own light to fade, yearning in vain to fade with it.  The shadows relished the irony that the Bearer of Friendship had no one to save him here, no one who would notice or care that he'd gone, and they laughed that he would get his last wish.  They would see to it that he would die here, alone and not mourned, his memory lost to the wandering sea, cast forth from the hearts that should have carried him alive in memory for all time.   They would happily devour the soul of Friendship, casting his languished and unused powers into darkness, and they would laugh as Enmity grew between the Digidestined, until they all fell at their own hands.  Then they would enter the worlds of Light unopposed, gamboling happily at the heels of their Master as he destroyed the Pillars.  They would be unable to stand against him, even if their own Friendship survived.  The Pillars would fall, as they should have so long ago, unable to turn the tide this time.  

This time, there was no hope for any of them… neither would there be light.

And, oh, how the shadows would laugh, freed at last from this their prison, given again reign over the souls of man and creature alike, over the worlds and the heavens.  Oh, how the angels would weep.  Tears in vain, vain!  The time of evil's dominion was at hand.

It would all begin with the death of one boy who thought he was beyond the concern of all the blessed, all who walked in light.  So little self-esteem, so seemingly unimportant, and yet he would be the first to fall, the first drop of water in an ocean that would eventually devour the Earth.  He would be forgotten by the world of light in the chaos of the fall, but they, the shadows, would remember his name, his face, and his soul as the first battle of their glorious revolution.  

But Matt knew of none of this, lost in the slowly dying storm of his own pain, as the shrieking of his own soul against this last act was lost in the tormented cries of his too sharp memories, jagged and unrelenting as they sliced that last of his resistance and will into scattered, windblown pieces.  The feeling that it would all be over soon was his only comfort as the last of his tears fell across cold, lifeless cheeks.

Those tears remained, bright on his cheeks as they reflected the light of the rising sun moments later.  The relentless amber light cast through the shadows surrounding the darkened figure, melting them away as gently as dawn does the night.  As natural and as silent as the passage of time, the light flowed across the beach, putting to rest the living shadow like the hand of merciful death in the night, granting sleep to the suffering and lost.  

As they died, the shadows cried out in anger and pain, too late, too late!  Destroy us if you will but saving him is beyond even a Pillar!  You cannot help him because you will never understand him… Hope will never understand despair!  Too late!

The light stretched in a great circle around Matt, bringing radiance and color to everything within its golden borders, but all the time deepening the shadows without.  Across the span of the endless beach, the bubble of light was a tiny stronghold against the listless, despairing darkness that stretched beyond imagination in every direction.  At its brightest point the light seemed to solidify, forming into the image of a young man that wavered in and out, as if such a creature of light was unable to ground completely in the dark world.  

"It is never too late.  Stand up, Friendship, you are needed."

Silence stretched out between the figures, dark and light, and Matt remained unmoving.  The light dome did not so much as waver or flicker, though the winds of shadow had begun to shriek in rage beyond the golden sanctuary.  Too late, they screamed, too late!  He is ours, ours!

"Friendship, wake up.  You must wake up.  Your time has not yet come!"

The voice remained kind, but took on a bite of authority.  There was an echo in the tone, as if two voices were speaking, one young and the other older, deeper.  Matt still did not respond, and the figure of light shivered dramatically, shimmering into two equal forms and then rejoining, almost solidifying completely.  The circle of light shuddered in reaction and shrank inward swiftly as the figure seemed to appear completely, revealing a young boy clutching his heart as though in pain.  Then the light seemed to sweep forward again, as though winning a battle with the boy, and the bubble re-expanded, sweeping back though the converging shadows.  The figure, again more light than flesh, stood tall and unmoved over the pitiful form huddled in the sand.

"Wake up!  You MUST wake up!"

The echo was almost gone, the older voice dominating the figure's tone with a now unmistakable attitude of command.  The winds shrieked their laughter at the battle being fought within the luminescent shield, their growing noise almost drowning out Matt's soft, whispered reply.

"Go away… let me die in peace."

This reply seemed to give the glowing figure pause, and there was a moment before he responded.  

"I can't do that.  You are needed alive… and whole.  Both worlds depend on this."

Matt finally stirred, shifting angrily but not looking up.  "You really do know how to charm a guy.  Why should I help you?  I've worked to save both worlds, and they've never done anything for me.  It's my life and this is my choice."

The reply was swift this time, and angry.  "And what of those you will leave behind?  What right have you to choose for them?"

"No one cares about me.  No one has ever done anything for me… why should I worry about them?"  Matt stirred listlessly, tracing random patterns in the suddenly warm sand beneath his feet.

"There is one who cares a great deal about you… who was willing to risk his very soul to save you from this.  Will you so belittle his sacrifice?"

"Geez, who are you and why won't you leave me alone?"  Matt finally growled, squinting up from his knees on annoyance.  He had to blink several times before he could make out the figure in the light, and then…

"TK?  What are you doing here?"  There was wonder and a little fear in his tone.

"No, you are mistaken, but TK is the reason I am here.  He needs you… he did this to find you.  Can you now truly say that no one cares for you, that no one has ever done anything for you?  There is at least one soul on earth that values your life above his own.  Is that not enough?"

Matt stared for a moment, confused and a bit disturbed by the answer he had received.  "But… but you are TK!  I'm looking right at you.  What's going on here?"

The figure of TK seemed to sigh, wavering slightly.  "In many ways, I am TK.  It was his desire to save you at any cost that made this possible, and it is his power that protects us even now.  But I am not TK in the way that you mean."

Matt stood angrily, shedding sand and the last of the shadow as his concern for his brother overrode all other conscious thought and subdued, for a moment, his despair.  Clenching his fists, he faced the figure challengingly.

"If you're not really TK, than who are you and why do you care so much?"

The figure of TK shimmered again, as though the cold words had struck it a physical blow.  "I am Hope.  Because TK houses all the forces of hope in his own soul, in many ways he and I are one and the same.  I am the sentient embodiment of everything your younger brother represents, normally housed in his Crest.  TK has the power of Hope, but he lacks the knowledge of how to use it… in order to get here he relinquished his body, soul, and all its strength to me."

Matt's jaw dropped slightly, and the anger drained from him.  He had never thought that someone could love him so selflessly, so completely beyond his own life.  "So where's TK right now?  In the Crest?"

The figure wavered again, this time amused.  "Certainly not.  He is here, as well.  He is just… away from this plane.  He is fighting me, though.  He is… unhappy with the way I am handling this.  He feels I do not understand how to speak with you."  The figure seemed to tilt its head at the boy for a moment.  "Perhaps he is right."

Snorting slightly, Matt turned away from the form of his brother, no longer wanting to associate TK's face with what was being said.  "I doubt either of you would really understand what it took to get me here."

As the words left his lips, the bubble of light around the pair shuddered violently, before shrinking inward completely, faster than dreaming.  The world returned to its bleak darkness and there was a heavy thud on the sand behind him.  Whirling, Matt saw TK on his hands and knees in the sand, shaking with exhaustion, completely corporeal with only the faintest luminescence still shining from his form.  Matt stared, immobile for a long moment, watching the younger boy struggle to breathe evenly, hiccups and gasps interrupting him as though he'd just run a marathon.  Finally he knelt beside the boy, rubbing his back in soothing circles, feeling how warm TK's body was, almost feverish.  

"Why are you doing this to yourself, TK?  I'm not worth this."

Still breathing heavily, TK shook his head wildly, the glow still slowly dimming from his skin.  "No… No I don't believe that.  I had to do this, because I do understand you… how you got here.  I know what it's like to want to die."

TK's breathing had calmed as he spoke, and Matt's hand stilled on his back.  "TK, you don't have to… I know you of all people haven't—"

Shaking his head again, TK fell into a seated position, looking completely drained of energy.  "No… I did… I have been there.  When I was… trapped in Spiral Mountain, I wanted so badly for it to be over, to just die if that's what it took.  I wanted more than anything to die.  But I didn't… I couldn't.  Do you know why?"

Trapped by TK's anguished eyes, Matt could only mutely shake his head.  

"It was because of you.  I knew you were out there, somewhere, waiting for me.  I knew you would have given your life to save mine, and I couldn't betray that.  Thinking of you kept me alive… and my hope for you, Matt, for no one else but you, that hope was the one that eventually saved me.  You saved my life, Matt.  You didn't even have to be there to do it."

The brothers stared at each other for a long moment before Matt replied.  "You always were a weird kid, squirt."

TK watched his eyes for another moment before breaking into a grin of relief.  "Thank you, thank you, God, I was so afraid I'd been too late.  I was so afraid…"

Matt smiled softly in return, feeling something wake up inside of him that had been buried in grief for twelve years.  "It's alright," he soothed, brushing TK's bangs away gently.  "You saved me this time.  I guess that makes us even.  You'll have to teach me that trick you did with your Crest."

TK smiled wryly over at his brother, looking sheepish.  "I wouldn't recommend it… I feel like I got hit by a truck… twice."

Matt smirked, allowing TK to rest his head against his shoulder.  "So how are we going to get out of here?"

His voice faint, TK murmured, "Don't look at me… I'm fresh out of tricks… and… energy at the… moment…"

Laughing softly, Matt shifted so that TK's head was in his lap as the boy drifted into a deep, drained sleep.  "I guess we'll figure it out in the morning," he said, looking down on the slight, protective glow from his brother's Crest.  The Crest seemed to be saying that it would protect the brothers until they were strong enough to leave this place.

"I can keep an eye on him, too, you know.  Nobody asked for your opinion," he said in an amused tone to the shimmering talisman.   

As he settled down to keep watch over his brother with a renewed sense of purpose that made him immune to the shadows, Matt could have sworn the Crest blink a pleased affirmative back at him.  He was still hurt, still lost in many ways, but as he sat there with TK huddled trustingly before him, helpless and exhausted, none of that seemed to matter.  

This is the story of a girl 

_Who cried a river and _

_Drowned the whole world_

_And while she looks so sad in photographs_

_I absolutely love her when she smiles…_

_How many days in a year_

_She woke up with hope_

_But she only found tears_

_And I can be so insincere_

_Making the promises _

_Never for real…_

_As long as she stands there waiting_

_Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes_

_How many days disappear?_

_You look in the mirror,_

_So how do you choose?_

_"Absolutely the Story of a Girl"_

_Nine Days_

A feeling of uneasiness had plagued Kari all the way home, staying with her as she fell into a fevered, restless sleep.  Despite the cool, controlled temperature of her bedroom, she had tossed off her blankets, sleeping tangled in sweat soaked pale pink sheets.  As she tossed and turned in the grip of some nameless nightmare, Gatomon looked on helplessly, her tail twitching in anguished agitation as she kept watch over her partner through the haunted hours of the night.

In her dream, Kari was running from some formless, looming evil through a shadowed, oppressive jungle.  The branches seemed to fight her, scratching her arms and face, and the still, close darkness under the tangled vines pushed in around her, stealing her breath even as she ran.  The dense black leaves blocked out the weak light of the moon and stars, causing the girl to trip and stumble over unseen obstacles in her path.  The ground shook and trembled as she went, only slowing her further, and she could feel the very essence of the world crying out around her.

It was the Digital world, dying beneath her very feet, being ripped apart at its very core.  Ahead of her, she could see a clearing in the trees, and she could hear the crash of stone objects hurtling to the ground.  She broke through into the free air and was horrified to see that only the two center columns remained, the outer seven having collapsed into darkened ruin, their light and power spilled out into the chaotic shadow and lost forever.  The two center columns still glowed, brave against the dark, even as the world buckled around them.  This was how it had happened… this was how it had ended the first time.

Only two remained… they had to act… but where was he?

Sounds began to reach Kari over the roaring winds, the cries of Digimon, screaming out in despair and then silenced.  Thunder crashed over her head and she fell to her knees, her pink aura flaring, crying out in terror.

"TK!  TK, where are you?"

"Kari."

Relief flooding her heart, Kari leapt to her feet and moved towards TK, who stood between her and the golden pillar, a white aura surrounding his form.  Before she could move more that a single step, another voice spoke from behind her.

"Hikari."

Whirling in place, Kari gasped out loud, staring unabashedly at what was before her.  There, between her and the black jungle, was another TK, this one glowing gold, with the Crest of Hope blazing from around his neck.  She opened her mouth, trying to speak but unable to bring to words the horrified dismay she was feeling.  This was wrong, all wrong!  It hadn't happened this way!

She looked at the golden TK before her, adorned with a white hat and an easy, carefree smile, looking very, very young and strong, his smile reassuring and hopeful.  He held out one hand to her, his smile inviting and familiar.  Confused, she turned back to the other TK, nearer to the pillar.  This TK was dressed in a high school uniform, without a hat, his bright hair loose in the wind.  He also wore the Crest of Hope, but its glow was obscured by his own white aura, and he had a sad smile on his face and tired, wise eyes.  This TK held out both hands to her, and as he did so, she could see the white scars on his wrists.

The white TK looked at her beseechingly, speaking softly, "Please, Kari, I need your help.  Help me."

Unsure, she looked back over her shoulder, at the golden TK who also spoke, his voice much, much older and so familiar.  "Hikari, you must choose.  You cannot have it both ways."

Kari swung her head back and forth, frightened and torn by what was happening.  "TK, what's going on?  I don't understand… I—I can't make a choice like this!"

The golden TK spoke again, his voice unrelenting.  "Child of Light, you MUST choose.  You can NOT have it both ways."

Turning away from him, she looked at the other, who was still holding out both hands towards her.  His smile was kind and his voice reassuring.  "I'll always be strong for you, Kari.  Trust yourself, you'll know what to do."

She stepped to the side, away from both of them, hugging herself, tears of fear and loneliness streaking down her face.  "No… no, I can't, I can't choose… not like this, not like this, it's not supposed to be like this!"

"Kari! Kari, wake up, it's just a dream!"

The Child of Light snapped awake, gasping and shaking as the terror of her nightmare refused to release her.  Gatomon stood on her lap, holding out her D-3, concern in her large, dark eyes.  Kari could see that she had an urgent e-mail, taking the insistently beeping device in her hands and deftly accessing her messages.  The familiar action helped calm her racing heart, and she scrolled down the brief message.  Dismay on her face, she forgot her dream completely as she leapt from the bed, shedding her blankets and throwing a light jacket over her pajamas.  

Watching her partner in shock, Gatomon glanced out the window where false dawn was just starting to streak, pink and gold across the sky.  Grabbing the D-3, she read the message for herself, quickly realizing what had Kari so upset.

It read:

Kari,

TK has gone to retrieve Matt from the Dark Ocean.  They will need your help to return.  Pick up Patamon and go to the beach… you know where… once there you will know what to do.

Gennai


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything.  Does anyone really own anything?  Does anything really exist?  Or are we all just typing into the void?

AN:  ::Bows head::  I am a horrible person.  I left you with that cliffhanger for far too long.  I am very sorry.  Life sucks when it gets in your way.  The real world is terrible for the creative process.  Anyway, this chapter is extra long to make up for the long wait.  And it doesn't end in a cliffhanger.  And it features a surprise cameo from someone you haven't seen for chapters.  All this and more for you, the reader.  Feel free to review or not… that won't make the chapters come faster, unfortunately.  It just makes me smile.

Chapter Sixteen

_When all the stars were falling, I reached up like you said,_

_When all the stars were falling, one hit me in the head…_

_And I fell down, down, down, I fell down, down…_

_When all the stars were falling, they fell from above,_

_And I though of hate, I thought of hate, and then I thought of love…_

_I fell down, down, down, I fell down, down…_

_And I've learned how to dance from a Vincent Van Gogh, _

_And the nights were wrapped in a white sheet…_

_And now no one even says hello,_

_'Cause I couldn't stand on my two feet…_

_Now all the stars have fallen._

_"When All the Stars Were Falling"_

_Lisa Loeb_

Kari gritted her teeth in annoyance as she clambered over the guardrail and onto the soft, giving terrain of the beach.  The sand glowed ivory in the first stirrings of dawn, although the sun had not yet cleared the horizon.  The streets were quiet, deserted at that early hour, and Patamon and Gatomon ran free onto the beach, unafraid of prying eyes.  Kari continued onto the pale stretch, looking neutrally out onto the distant, sapphire horizon.  Behind them, Tai grunted as he followed his sister's lead over the guardrail and onto the beach.

He'd caught her on her way out the door, and refused to let her go alone when she wouldn't tell him where she was going.  His angry questions had tapered off as he'd followed her, to his extreme confusion, to a church to pick up a Digimon.  After retrieving Patamon, who had been waiting at the gate for them, he'd said nothing.  He guessed they were going to help one of the new kids with some problem in the digital world, or return this stray Patamon there.  Now, however, they were at the beach, although to do what, Tai couldn't guess.  Kari wasn't answering his questions, none of them were, and now she was just standing there, staring down at her D-3, her Crest in hand, as though waiting for something.  

Time stretched around the siblings, as the sea breeze cried mournfully in the in the drought dried grass lining the pristine dunes.  Then, suddenly, the wind died, and Tai could feel the weight of something, something immense and unfathomable, weighing down around them.  After a long moment, Kari clipped her D-3 to her waist with a frustrated sigh.

"He didn't even bring his D-3… perfect, just perfect," she muttered to herself, ignoring the strange looks she was getting from the digimon and her brother.  Tai opened his mouth to demand to know just whom she was talking about, but shut it again when Gatomon gave him a dangerous look.  Kari may have been capable of a dangerous temper, but she was nothing compared to her digimon, and Tai had the scars to prove it.  Many were the times Gatomon had 'accidentally' scratched Tai after he upset Kari.

Directing his attention back to his sister with an innocent look in Gatomon's direction, he stepped forward with interest when he saw what she was doing.  The Crest of Light was glowing a warm rose in Kari 's hand, slowly increasing as she concentrated.  The glow grew slowly, brighter and brighter, until the tiny charm in the hands of one small girl began to eclipse the coming dawn.  

Tai's jaw fell open in shock as, just a few feet in front of them, the very fabric of reality began to waver.

****

Matt stared down at his brother worriedly, adjusting the teenager's head on his lap, trying to restore the feeling to his long asleep legs.  TK's sleep had slowly become restless, his respiration and eye movement slowly increasing, as though he was in the grip of some unpleasant dream.  The dark world was motionless around the pair, the gloom and silence making Matt uneasy.  He felt as though something was wrong, as though they were in some sort of danger, but looking around, he saw nothing.  It felt almost as though… it felt like TK was in some sort of trouble, not from without, but from within.  

In his own mind, where Matt couldn't help him… so with a heavy heart, the older Ishida maintained his vigil, his normally icy eyes soft with sympathy.

*****

Trapped in his nightmare, TK was again chained in the dark fortress of Spiral Mountain.  The air was thick and heavy with shadow, with evil seeping through the air, like the coppery, metallic taste of blood.  The small cell reeked with smell of blood and fear, but there was also a tinge of something else in the air.  Something that drove Devimon to rage every time he entered.

It was a smell of rain and grass. Like the wondrously clear sky and clean wind after a summer storm, it was something the darkness and evil couldn't seem to overpower.  

It was something Devimon never failed to punish him for.  Huddled, shivering and wet in the corner, a young TK tried to keep himself warm by huddling as close to the wall as possible.  He had no idea how long he'd been in this place, and he only had a vague idea as to why.  Sometimes the reason was very clear to him, at times when hunger and cold drove him perilously close to unconsciousness, kept awake only by the constant threat of Devimon returning and the fear laced adrenalin that thought lent him.

As his heart beat painfully fast in his chest, TK knew he couldn't give in, he couldn't die here.  He had only a vague idea of what it meant to die, although Devimon threatened him with it often.  He'd heard the others saying Devimon couldn't kill him, that then 'it' might be passed to someone else.  It was then that he realized that they brought him here because they wanted something he had, something special about him.  

Feeling the temperature drop, a sure sign that Devimon was approaching, TK pressed his hands over his ears to block out the awful sound of the demon's voice and the terrible things that it would say.  He wasn't a bad, evil child; he wasn't!  He wasn't unloved and unwanted!  Someday he'd be back home… someday… someday…

This is all my fault!  I wish I wasn't like this!  What's wrong with me? I wish I wasn't special… I wish… I wish I were someone else, just for a little while.  I wish… I wish they hadn't chosen me… what's wrong with me…I wish I had a new life…what's wrong with me? 

And so his mantra went, on and on into the darkness of his nightmare, into the unending midnight of his captivity.  

****

Matt's eyes widened as TK's Crest began to flash, shimmering in time to the boy's heartbeat as he tossed and turned.  Then TK calmed, slowly coming to wakefulness as his heartbeat slowed.  After a few minutes, TK woke completely, blinking groggily up at his older brother.  A look of confusion swept over his features as he registered their surroundings.

Sitting up slowly, TK gazed around at the darkened beach, glancing over his shoulder at the oily tide and the flat, slate colored sky.  His eyes were dark and troubled, and his voice was small when he finally spoke.  

"I… I thought I had dreamt this…" 

Matt placed a hand on his brother's forehead, concern dominating his features.  "No, I'm afraid this was real, squirt.  You were out for a while there.  Maybe you should lie back down for a bit, you look a little tired… well actually, you look so exhausted you're practically transparent."

TK shook his head a little wildly, his expression confused and upset.  "No… no I can't… sleep here.  I—I can't get any real rest here… not in this place…" he trailed off, his eyes flicking off into the distant horizon.  

"TK, calm down.  I don't think you've totally woken up from your nightmare—"

TK's attention snapped back to him.  "I didn't have a nightmare."

The older boy scoffed at this, staring his brother levelly in the eyes.  "Please, TK, I wasn't born yesterday.  You were whimpering in your sleep."

Staring at Matt for a long moment, TK's expression closed and he turned away.  "It's no big deal.  I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."  Matt tried desperately to keep his tone level, casually tracing random patterns in the sand.  

"Don't worry about it."  TK's gaze did not so much as flicker in Matt's direction as he spoke.

Matt scoffed again, clearly amused.  "Not much chance of that happening.  You can talk to me about it…" His tone turned serious, and he hesitated, unsure of how to say this, "you know you can tell me anything, okay?"

Silence stretched between them, and then, unexpectedly, TK spoke into the void.  "We… there was a battle yesterday, in the Digiworld.  We knocked down some control spires, on File Island.  I—it was… it was… I guess I just don't understand why it has to be this way.  Then I came home, and you were here, and everything seems so… twisted and—I don't know—tired, I guess.  Everything—everyone—seems so tired of fighting, like we're all stretched thin.  Or maybe I'm the one who's tired.  I don't know."

Matt's clear blue eyes softened as he began to understand the reason for his brother's melancholy…. as he began to understand his brother.  He did understand, all too well.  Fighting wasn't something that came naturally to Ishidas; in fact, it was his own reluctance to fight that had come between himself and Tai so often in the digital world.  Looking at the sad but determined look on TK's face, he sympathized with the feeling of great responsibility come far too young.  But deep inside his soul, in a place dominated by bright blue light, he had always felt compelled to protect his friends, no matter what.  It was that same light that he had always related to TK, and now it was telling him that TK wasn't being entirely honest with him. 

"But that wasn't what you're nightmare was about."  It wasn't phrased as a question, and Matt hadn't intended it to be.

Glancing wryly at the older boy, TK smirked slightly.  "You know, for a newbie, you've got this big brother thing down cold."

Matt smiled slyly, flipping his hair in mock arrogance.  "Despite what you may have read in 'Teen People,' I'll have you know my talents extend far beyond singing well and looking hot.  Brotherly concern is one of my many, many lesser-known talents.  Nice try changing the subject, but flattery will get you nowhere.  So spill."

TK's eyes focused out onto the distant gray horizon, and his voice fell soft as he spoke.  "I was dreaming about… about what happened to me on Spiral Mountain."

Feeling ice drop into the pit of his stomach, Matt swallowed.  He hadn't really put too much thought into what it must have been like for TK, held by the Dark Masters for six months.  To be totally honest, he hadn't wanted to think about it.  The last time he'd really considered it was when he'd found TK's hat in the ruins of the dark fortress, so many years ago.  But realizing, now, that the memories haunted TK enough to create nightmares of such terrible power, he didn't know what to think, let alone say.

"Oh—oh, TK, I'm so sorry…"

TK turned back to his brother then, a soft, small smile on his face.  "You have nothing to be sorry about, Matt.  Remember what I told you last night?  You saved me, Matt.  None of this is your fault, or mine, or anyone's.  It just happened."  He was rubbing his wrists as he spoke, an action that did not go unnoticed by Matt, who reached out and took TK's hand, pushing up the sleeve of his rumpled, stained uniform shirt.

A thick, raised white scar surrounded TK's wrist like a horrible bracelet, with small scars trailing up the arm.  Silently taking the other arm, Matt pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyes growing colder than TK could ever remember seeing them.  His gentle touch belied his angry face though, and he rubbed the scars softly with his fingers, as if to sooth them away.  

TK spoke quietly, his voice almost ashamed.  "They don't hurt anymore, Matt.  Don't worry about it…"

The rubbing fingers halted, but Matt did not relinquish his grip, nor did he raise his eyes.  "How?"

Cocking his head slightly, TK looked at his brother in slight confusion, trying to tug his hands away.  "What do you mean?"

Icy eyes flashed up to his face, and TK stilled, letting his hands go limp in Matt's grip.  "How did you get these?  WHAT did they DO to you?!?"

Sapphire eyes wide at his brother's anger, TK stared at Matt for a long moment before acquiescing.  Lowering his head, he spoke his answer towards the pale hands gripping his arms.  "It was… the manacles they used to keep me chained against the wall.  They—I—the cuffs kept cutting back into my skin so they never healed, really, until I got out.  It's okay now, though."

Dropping TK's hands as if they had burned him, Matt leapt to his feet in anger.  "Okay?  OKAY?  It's not OKAY, TK!  This is not OKAY!  God, I wish… I wish I had another shot at the Dark Masters!  Death was too good for them!  How can you sit there, as if, as if—AS IF IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT THEY DID TO YOU!  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

Still kneeling in the sand, TK endured the barrage, unmoved by the passionate anger that had taken hold of his brother.  Unknowingly, Matt had hit upon the mantra of the lost little boy in the dark dungeon, the question of what was so wrong about being who he was.  "Time, Matt.  I've been dealing with this for a while.  There was a big span of time when I couldn't remember what happened, but I knew in my heart it was something terrible.  Something so awful my mind couldn't even bear to remember it, except in shadowed nightmares.  And when my memories did return, I was so… so overwhelmed by everything, and I didn't know what to think.  But if I'm angry at anyone, it would be myself… because I'm not angry at them… because I still fear them, and the nightmares won't seem to leave me… and I am sorry, Matt."

His anger spent, Matt stared down at the top of his brother's golden head, and whispered, "Why are you sorry?"

TK's answer was so soft it was almost lost beneath the crashing of the waves.  "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to get home to you sooner.  If I weren't so afraid, maybe I would have remembered sooner.  Because I'm still afraid."

Dropping back down to the sand, Matt pulled the younger boy into a rough hug, tears glinting in his eyes.  After a moment TK responded, wrapping his arms around Matt as if he'd never let go.  Blinking back his tears, Matt whispered gruffly into his brother's ear, "It's okay to be afraid sometimes, TK.  I was scared out of my mind the whole time you were gone that I'd never see you again.  I was so scared for so long that I didn't even remember what it felt like not to be scared, until you came home.  Even now, I'm afraid, so, so terrified that I'll let you down again, that I'll lose you again, that—that I can't even conceive of the words to describe it.  That's why I was so cold to you, these last few days, because I couldn't even deal with the idea of getting close only to lose you again, somehow.  To find you hated me like I thought you should, blamed me for not saving you like I blamed myself.  Then, when I was taken here, all I could think was how I'd had the chance to be near you again, to have you in my life again, and I'd blown it because I was a coward.  I was such a coward, and I'm so sorry, TK.  I'm sorry I gave up on you… I should have believed you were coming back.  I should have believed…"

The brothers hugged for a moment longer, and Matt was ready to say more, when TK pulled away suddenly, tilting his head as though listening to something.  The older Ishida looked around curiously, but could neither sense nor see anything out of place.  Out over the ocean, the sky was changing from flat, starless black to flat, sunless gray, which apparently was what passed for dawn in this hellhole of a dimension.  Turning to TK, he watched his younger brother's unfocused eyes, as the boy seemed to draw inward.  

"TK, what…?"

Shaking his head, TK shushed Matt absently.  "Shh… I think… I thought I heard… Kari…" Standing up, TK reached for his Crest, drawing it from under his shirt and clutching it in his fist.  Caught on TK's statement, Matt's eyebrows raised sardonically.

"Kari?  Kamiya Hikari?  Reeeeeaaaalllyy?"  He drawled, liberally lacing his words with innuendo.  Then he fell silent as the memory of Kari in his apartment several weeks ago, stealing the Crest of Hope, surfaced.  Frowning, he watched his brother stand with his head bowed, crest glowing warmly in his fist.  Listening for something… listening for someone… for Kari… just like Kari had gone looking for him.   

Standing also, he moved closer to his brother, a collection of incidents, connections, and coincidences forming a pattern in his mind.  A pattern that pointed to something he wasn't sure he was ready to believe.  "TK… TK, what's going on between you and Kari?"

Or rather, he thought wryly as TK's crest began to glow brighter, what's going on between Hope and Light?

Ignoring his brother, TK's head snapped up, and his eyes focused on a spot on the beach, seeing something where Matt saw only empty space.  "Kari… she's here… but how did she know where I was?"

Staring in vain at the spot that so fascinated his younger brother, Matt rolled his eyes.  "Good question," he grumbled, unable to see anything but water and sand.  Then something wavered, and like TK had earlier, he tilted his head in confusion.  The atmosphere before them began to shimmer, and a hole appeared in the air, like a piece of reality itself had been cut away.  A blinding light distracted him from the hole in space, and Matt turned to see that TK's crest had erupted into brilliance, and in the hole, an answering pink light shone like a rose colored dawn.

TK was frowning in intense concentration, and when he spoke, his voice was thin with strain.  "Matt… Matt, you have to go through… while we're holding it open.  Go towards the pink light…" He trailed off, his eyes clenched tightly shut.

Matt looked towards the pink light, realizing it must be Kari on the other side.  Unsure, he looked back at TK, and then he realized that they were using their crests to create a portal between the worlds.  "But… but TK…"

Shaking his head, TK didn't open his eyes.  "NO, Matt, you have to go first.  I'll be right behind you, but right now, we need to hold it open… please, just trust me… I—we can't hold this much longer…"

Staring hard at his brother, Matt sighed in defeat and headed towards the rose light.  It grew brighter and brighter as he approached it, until all he could see was pink, and then, just as it grew so blinding he had to blink, he stumbled onto softer sand.  Opening his eyes in shock, he drew a deep breath of warm, fresh air, and looked around at the real world, which seemed suddenly vibrant and colorful compared to the dark ocean.  Before him stood Kari, her crest alight in her hand, with her Gatomon, a Patamon he suddenly recognized as TK's, and… and TAI?

Matt grimaced and wondered if it was too late to go back when the combined light of the crests flared and the TK was beside him, panting heavily.  A blur of orange shot past him, and TK's arms were full of a very upset Patamon.

Smiling tiredly, TK endured the harangue, allowing Patamon to burrow into his shirt, which was beginning to look slightly the worse for all its adventures.  When Patamon had finished, TK looked up, still hugging him to his chest, to see two VERY displeased Kamiyas.  Tai looked at the two brothers, and then back at his sister, obviously at a loss for words for the first time in his life.  Kari, however, suffered no such handicap.

Marching straight up to TK, she stood with her arms crossed over her chest, anger practically radiating off her.  "Where's your digivice, Takeru?"

"I…ummm…"

"And Patamon.  Any particular reason you didn't bring him?"

"Well, Kari, I—I"

"Any plans for back up?  Or did you just waltz off on your own into the Dark Dimension?" Her tone was clipped, and TK knew better than to lie to her, but he certainly didn't want to admit that that was exactly what he'd done.  Trying to make his tone soothing, he smiled earnestly at her.

"I didn't want to risk involving you guys… you could have gotten hurt." 

As soon as he said it he realized it had been the wrong thing to say.  Kari's eyes narrowed, and she seemed to grow taller, her rage was so fierce.  "Oh.  I see.  You couldn't risk our lives, but YOUR life is totally expendable.  Is that it?"

Eyes wide and innocent, TK stammered a disclaimer.  "No—no—that's not what I meant and you know it!  Patamon was exhausted from yesterday, and the rest of you weren't in much better shape!  I did what I thought was best at the time, and I'm not going to apologize for wanting to protect you.  It all worked out in the end, anyway." He ended with a soft smile, looking pleadingly down at Kari.

The brunette in question pursed her lips in annoyance, finally tearing her eyes away from his all too innocent expression.  "You're every annoying when you do that," she muttered finally, uncrossing her arms and sighing in defeat.  "Just don't make a habit of it, okay?"

Before TK could even open his mouth to answer, Tai had regained his sense and jumped into the conversation, his eyes angry.  "Kari, what's going on?  How do you know Ma—Ishida's kid brother?  He's probably trouble, just like his brother…"  

Matt snapped out of his amusement at TK's scolding, his face stony.  "What do you mean by that, Kamiya?"

TK, stung at this unprovoked attack from someone he'd hoped to be friends with, someone he remembered being friends with, stepped back from Kari in surprise, his eyes hurt.  Patamon and Gatomon glared at Tai in tandem, their displeasure palpable in the air.  Kari, seeing TK move away and understanding the reason behind his pain, turned on her brother, her ire raised again at the senselessness of this feud.  She refused to see anyone else hurt by it, least of all TK.  She'd promised to help him, to heal him, and if that meant taking her brother down a peg or two, then all the better, in her opinion.

"That's enough, Tai!  TK never did anything to you, and you have no right to say anything to him!  I'll be friendly with whomever I please.  I'm fifteen years old, and you don't make my decisions for me.  Don't you dare smile, Matt; you're just as guilty as he is!  You two can fight all you like, but leave us out of it," she ground out, turning and walking towards the street.  "Come on, TK.  School will be starting soon, and you need to change."

Smiling inwardly at the older boys' dumbfounded expressions, realizing how rare it was for Kari to lose her temper twice in one morning, TK moved obediently after her.  "She's the boss," he tossed back at the pair in explanation, shrugging as though he had no choice in the matter.  Although, considering the state of the Child of Light's temper, obeying her was probably a good idea if he wanted to live out the day with his limbs intact.  

After a long moment, Matt and Tai started after their siblings, carefully avoiding speaking or eye contact, tacitly agreeing to endure each other's presence for the moment.  No fight was worth Kari's temper; that much was for certain.

_Take these pink ribbons off my eyes,_

_I'm exposed, and it's no big surprise…_

_Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?_

_This world is forcing me to hold your hand…_

_I'm just a girl.  I'm just a girl in the world._

_That's all that you'll let me be._

_Oh, I'm just a girl, living in captivity…_

_Your rule of thumb makes me worry some._

_Oh, I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?_

_What I've succumbed to is making me numb…_

_Oh, I've had it up to here…_

_Oh, am I making myself clear?_

_"I'm Just a Girl"_

_No Doubt_

She needed a manicure.   And a massage.  And a latte.

Not necessarily in that order.  

But soon, before she ran screaming out into the streets.

Drumming her pink nails on the table, Mimi waited for her boyfriend to appear.  Ex-boyfriend, that is.  As soon as he arrived, she was dumping his cheating ass.  With any luck, all this could be accomplished before her no foam, low fat, skim milk French vanilla latte and cinnamon raisin low-carb muffin came.  She'd hate to ruin her appetite with the thought of him and that skinny, blond, fluff-for-brains cheerleader… ugh, doing things.  No more, she promised herself.  No more jocks or bad boys, no more useless men and their insincerity.

Finally, she was going back to Japan, back to her real friends, where people had substance.  Not that people in America were lacking in substance.  That particular epidemic seemed to be confined to the pool of eligible guys in New York City.

Beep!  Beep! 

Sighing deeply, Mimi flipped out her cell and checked the text message.  It was John… running late.  See you soon.  Flipping her metallic pink phone closed, Mimi smirked to herself as her latte and muffin arrived.  Probably having trouble getting his zipper up after bopping that pom-pom toting bimbo in the locker room.  Resigning herself to wait rather than put off the inevitable confrontation, she pulled out a Japanese language newspaper and flipped to the Tokyo section.  Always nice to know what was going on at home, especially since she hadn't had time to call Yolei or Joe for a week.

Hmmm… renovations in the Diet building… Tokyo to bid for next Winter Olympics… that would be fun…  Various stocks went up and down… the Yen strong against the dollar… that _sounds_ like a good thing, but who can tell with economics….  The Yen will probably be down again next week.  Boy resumes life after twelve years missing…  Hmph… that kid looks like Matt… kind of cute in that way… ohhh… new designer… lordy, that dress is ugly though.  Isn't Fashion Week coming up?  That'll take my mind off John…

Wait.

Twelve years missing.

Looks like Matt.

Mimi flipped back to the article with shaking hands, doing the math in her head.  Twelve years… Matt was… let's see, eighteen two months ago, and he was, YES!  Six, he was six when his brother disappeared!  What had Yolei been on about a few weeks ago?  Something about Kari climbing a fire escape… she remembered that particular mental image vividly.  Something about the Crest of Hope…

Mimi reached out, unconsciously tapping her own crest, hanging from a charm bracelet, as she thought.  It was too much to be a coincidence.  She'd known something was going to happen this week, she'd felt charged with anticipation for days.  Maybe this was it.

Grabbing her cell, she popped it open and scrolled down to a familiar number, refusing to think about the international surcharges she was about to incur.  Pressing it to her ear, Mimi twirled a strand of cotton candy hair, willing the call to be picked up.

"Moshi, Moshi?"

Mimi's heart leapt.  "Joe!  I'm so glad you picked up!"

"Hey, Mimi!  I haven't heard from you in a while.  What can I do for you?"  To say Joe sounded pleasantly surprised would have been an understatement.

"I saw an article in the paper, and I had to call.  That boy, Joe, the one they found… is it him?"  She didn't need to specify, there was only one missing destined, after all.

Mimi could practically hear Joe smile, a continent away.

"Yes, Mimi, it's him."

Smiling softly to herself, Mimi leaned back in her chair, ignoring the odd looks she was getting from the other patrons.  Joe let her think, of all her friends, he had always respected that she would come to her conclusions in her own time.  They had always been able to talk, and they both had a tendency to babble when under pressure.  But despite having less than steely nerves, they were profound thinkers underneath it all, and had often discussed the Digital World in abstract and philosophical ways that would have impressed Izzy.  Yolei and Izzy focused on how the Digital World worked…  Mimi and Joe concerned themselves with _why_ it was the way it was.

"I thought something was up," she mused.  "What do you think it means?  Do you think… do you think the fighting will end now?"  Her voice was small, but hopeful.

"I don't know, Meems.  I saw him at the hospital for the exam… he seemed… well, I think he was in shock when he got to me.  He seemed pretty shaken up, apparently he'd seen Matt…" Joe trailed off, his voice troubled.

Frowning, Mimi thought that over.  "But… Matt must have been… thrilled to pieces to see him!"

"Not exactly," Joe's voice was grim.  

Mimi's heart fell.  "Oh no!  Oh, Joe, what do you think happened?"

There was a long pause.  "Well, in Matt's defense, I was pretty damn shocked to see Takeru, and he's not even my brother.  That's… that's not the worst of it, though."

Her brown eyes deeply troubled, Mimi gripped the cup of her now cold latte between numb fingers.  She was not prepared for what came next.

"There were—there were scars, Mimi.  Terrible scars… horrible things happened to that boy on Spiral Mountain.  He—seemed to take it all in stride, but that could be a mask.  And a mask like that can't last for long."

Her perfectly glossed lips forming an 'O' of utter horror, Mimi tried to erase what she'd just heard.  "Oh, Joe… oh god.  Why do these things happen?  He was… what, three?  How could such evil exist, that could hurt such a child?"

"I don't know, Meems.  I just don't know."  Joe sounded tired.

Drumming her nails against the porcelain coffee cup before her, Mimi came to a decision.  "Next week, Joe."

"What?  Next week what?" Joe went from tired to confused in record time.  Mimi always had that effect on him.

"I'm coming home next week.  It was going to be a surprise for later this month, but I'm stepping up my departure.  I'll be there to help in a week."  Mimi's voice had left its soft tone, and was hard with determination and anger.

The warmth in Joe's voice carried clearly through the miles between them.  "I suppose you'll be needing someone to pick you up at the airport."

Mimi smiled softly.  "That would be nice… I'll call you later this week to work it out.  Bye!"

Clicking the phone off practically on top of Joe's hurried goodbye, Mimi's smile grew.  

Always leave them wanting more.

With that thought in mind, she waved a greeting at her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend as he entered the café.  


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer:  I don't own it… probably because I spend all my time on the Internet writing fiction instead of working.

AN:  Okay… this chapter is a bit of a gift, as I took so long in updating the last time.  Also, I wanted to update again before the flood of inspiration runs out.  Pray that the inspiration continues, and I might even finish this fic while I'm still young.  That's a long way off, though.  Furthermore, I wanted to state that most of what happens in the second season has not happened in my timeline.  More on this will be explained later, but I thought it bore repeating.  This is an exceptionally long chapter, though.  It's sort of a series of important conversations.  They all had to go together.  I hope you enjoy it! 

"Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds."

_Samuel Butler_

_"The public is wonderfully tolerant.  It forgives everything except genius."_

_Oscar Wilde_

Ken was having a bad week.   Actually, the whole month had been pretty bad, and that was continuing a string of bad years that dated back to… well, pretty far into the past.  Not that anyone could tell he was having a bad week… life… anyway, the point was, no one could see inside his mask.  Not even his parents.  Especially not his parents.  Everyone thought that Ichijouji Ken had a perfect life… genius, soccer star, and a perfect gentleman, perfect… perfect human being.  The only perfect human being… the only worthy one… in that, at least, the public image was right on target.

He was perfect… he had to be.  He would defeat those… those common children that thought themselves Digi-destined.  He would do it, and then he would have won the game.  It was just a game, right?  It had started out that way, but now… so much time had passed, and he didn't even know where the motivation came from to do some of the things he'd done.  After all, he didn't want to kill anyone, did he?  He was sure he wasn't capable of that, and yet… somehow, things just happened.  It was like he was behind the wheel of a speeding car and the brakes were shot… he was careening out of control, and he was leaving his humanity behind in the process.  

But no… no, he was still in control.  He could stop this whenever he wanted.  He could stop… he was in control.  He would control it all in the end.  Everything would fall to him in the end.  Wormon would see, he was right after all.  All things must come to an end.

No… that's not what he'd been thinking… what HAD he been thinking… it was gone now… if only he could get it back…

"Hey, are you going to buy something or what?"

The lavender haired clerk was giving him an exasperated glare, drumming her sparkly, violet nails on the counter.  Bringing himself forcibly back to the present, he grabbed a sports drink out of the refrigerator he'd been staring into for the past several minutes and turned towards her.  She looked familiar, or maybe it was just the familiar expression of awe and embarrassment that flushed onto her face when she realized whom she was speaking to.  

Bowing slightly, Ken placed the drink next to the register.  "I apologize for making you wait… I… uh, had a hard time deciding between your fine products."

The girl blushed harder and smiled at him, and it struck Ken that, despite the rather horrendous headscarf and glasses, she was rather pretty.  He was sure he'd seen her before, but then, wouldn't he remember a pretty girl like this?  Then again, maybe he'd seen her at one of his soccer games against Odaiba.  This store wasn't far from the field.  He snapped his eyes back to the girl's face when she spoke. 

"Oh, that's alright… you could stare at our products all you want…!  Oh, no, I don't mean, I mean, I didn't mean…you can stare at the things we sell… no, that's worse!  Ummm… I think I'll just die now," she finally muttered, completely red with mortification. 

Ken, to his own great surprise, and hers, smiled kindly.  "Don't worry about it.  You just caught me staring into your drink section.  At least now I'm not alone in my embarrassment."  As he finished speaking, Ken blinked, his indigo eyes puzzled.  Was he _flirting_?

The girl looked as shocked as he did, although he confidence appeared to have returned, as well.  Sliding his change across the well-worn but still brightly polished counter, she winked at him.  "I suppose that makes us even, then.  Have a nice day, and come back and visit us soon!"

Nodding dumbly, Ken glanced once more at the bright eyes behind the glasses, and he felt his cheeks grow warm.  First flirting, and now blushing?  Where would it end?  Grabbing his change, he hurried from the store, his cheeks still aflame.  

He hurried blindly through the sunlight and heat of the city, not stopping until he was around a corner and out of sight of the store.  Stopping in the shadow of an apartment building, he panted, winded.  He hadn't—had never reacted to a girl like that.  He'd been acting like some silly teenager.  Even as the coldly logical part of his mind berated him for his moment's imperfection, another part of his mind was still thinking of how nice it felt to be kind to that girl, how natural it felt, and how her eyes had sparkled when he'd smiled at her.

Disgusted with himself, he reached for his drink, now very thirsty after his near panicked flight from a mere girl.  Wait a minute… where?  Oh, no.

He'd left it in the store.

With her.

Oh, the humanity.

Hope my mom and I hope my dad will figure out why they get so mad 

_Hear them scream, I hear them fight,_

_They say bad words and make me want to cry…_

_Close my eyes when I go to bed and I dream of angels who make me smile,_

_I feel better when I hear them say everything will be wonderful someday._

_I don't wanna hear you say that I will understand someday, _

_No, no, no, no_

_I don't wanna hear you say you both have grown in a different way…_

_No, no, no, no_

_I just want my life to be the same, just like it used to be…_

_Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now._

_"Wonderful"_

_Everclear_

"You know, I can't help but feel it's partially my fault."

Matt swung incredulous eyes to his brother, leaning over the railing dividing the floor of the Greater Tokyo Family Court from the gallery.  His brother sat on the other side, beside his caseworker and a children's advocate from Legal Aid.  Their parents were seated with their lawyers at another table across the aisle, smiling tight, nervous smiles.  Matt rolled his eyes at their superficial civility, hoping TK's custody hearing wouldn't turn into the debacle his had.  He didn't envy TK the choice he had to make today one bit.

Whispering harshly so that the lawyers wouldn't hear him, Matt replied, "Why do I think I'm not going to like the sound of this?  How could any of this possibly be your fault?  Mom and Dad were on their way to divorce before you were even born, let alone before you—uh, disappeared."

Shifting uncomfortably in the suit his mother had bought him the day before, TK turned nervous eyes to his brother.  "I know, but… no matter what I choose today, someone is going to get hurt.  You might get hurt."

Looking away from his brother for a moment, Matt watched the sunlight glowing golden through the tall windows behind the currently empty judge's bench.  He didn't want TK to see that his words had already hurt him.  They implied that TK might not choose to live with him… with Dad.  Taking a deep breath, he looked back at the younger boy, and could see from the knowing look in his eyes that TK had sensed his pain.

"I don't think I could stand to hurt you again, Yama."

Matt closed his eyes against the sunlight and the pain, as his heart clenched.  TK had not called him 'Yama' since he'd been able to pronounce 'Matt.' He wished he knew what to say to make this easier, but the treacherous words wouldn't form themselves in his mind.  Matt knew what he wanted, in his selfish heart.  He wanted TK to choose him; he wanted it so badly that he couldn't even bring himself to say what he knew he should say.  He knew he should say something comforting, to take the pressure off of Takeru and to help him in his time of need.  A muffled 'opmf' in the backpack resting beside him on the hard wooden bench told him that Patamon had something to say even if he didn't.  Elbowing the bag sharply, Matt turned back to TK, ready now to speak, to say what he had to, when the bailiff entered the room.

"All rise, the Family Court of Greater Tokyo is now in session, the honorable Judge Kino presiding.  All rise!"

When the judge, a kind looking older woman with gray streaked hair had seated herself, they sat again.  Ordering a stack of papers in front of her, she gazed down at TK, a soft look in her eyes.

"Good morning… thank you all for coming so early, and for being so patient while I reviewed all the documents submitted to me on this matter.  This has been a very complex case for me, considering the minor in question has been a ward of the United States for the past twelve years.  Upon receipt of the results of DNA tests, which confirm young Mr. Ishida's identity, the Family Services of Alaska and the US State Department have relinquished all jurisdiction on your welfare, and have transferred the question of your custody to the City of Tokyo.  You understand that you are no longer considered a citizen of the United States, and that you will be required to forfeit your American Passport?"  At TK's nod, she continued.  "With the DNA results in, there's really not much for me to decide."  Hesitating for a moment, she looked at the court reporter.  "Let the record show that satisfactory medical proof has been provided to me to establish that Takeru St. Joseph, so named by Alaskan Family Services, is in fact Ishida Takeru.  Let the record also reflect that it is the opinion of this court that Mr. Ishida is in satisfactory physical and mental health.  This court sees no reason why the minor should not be returned to the custody of his parents."

The judge paused for a moment while TK's parents gave small exclamations of joy, although they had been certain of that much since the test results returned.  Matt clasped TK's shoulder warmly, allowing his joy to be felt by his brother.  TK glanced over at his parents.  His father was focused on the judge, but his mother's eyes, painfully blue with hope, were locked on him.  Swallowing nervously, he returned his gaze to the judge as she began to speak again.

"All that having been said, the final decision rests on your shoulders, young man.  Having spoken with you in my chambers yesterday, I know you are a sensible boy, and it grieves the court that such misfortune should have befallen you and your family.  The court takes comfort in the fact that all this has come out to what may be termed a happy ending, something I rarely get to see in my job.  However, before any happy reunions can take place, the hardest decision must be made.  As you are fifteen years old, you are, in the eyes of the court, old enough to make your own decision regarding your custody.  You have been given time to consider your options, do you feel ready to decide now?"

Feeling every eye in the room swivel towards him, TK stood shakily when his lawyer gestured to him.  He could all but feel Matt holding his breath from where he was seated, supportively behind him.  The room seemed to spin around him, as his thoughts whirled like so many scattered leaves before the autumn wind.  He'd put thought into it… he hadn't done much but think about it since he and Matt had returned from the Dark Ocean several days before.  All that thought hadn't brought him any closer to a conclusion.  He knew what Matt wanted, what each of his parents wanted… what he didn't know was what HE wanted.  

/I want to stay with Matt…but my mother needs me, too.  But if I choose Mom, what will Dad think?  He'll think I didn't want him, and I do!  But if I go with my mother… I'll be Takaishi Takeru again… can I be that person?  I thought that was lost to me… but that's what I've wanted, isn't it?  A chance to take back what's mine, what was stolen from me.  For so long I wanted my name back… it is mine, more than Ishida ever will be… I love my Dad and Matt but that's not who I am.  I'm not an Ishida, I never really have been.  I don't know if I'm strong enough to take my life back, but I have to try.  I can be Takaishi Takeru; I know I can.  It's my life and I WANT IT BACK! /

Opening his eyes just before his silence became conspicuous, he gazed steadily at the judge; not looking at his parents or Matt, not wanting to see the pain he was about to cause, or the joy.

"I'd like to live with my mother."  His voice had only wavered slightly, but then, it was only the biggest decision of his life.  

The look of radiant joy on his mother's face only barely mitigated the look of pain and disappointment on his father's.  TK couldn't bear to look at Matt.  The lawyers began to shuffle papers busily, making the necessary notations and preparing for the necessary briefs.  The judge looked at TK for a long moment, weighing his decision, before nodding in satisfaction.

Perhaps she recognized some of his reasoning in his eyes, perhaps because she'd seen so many young people make similar decisions before her everyday, for some reason, something passed between the judge and TK that day, which prompted her to ask her next question.

"You'll assume your mother's maiden name, then?"  She asked it as though it were though most natural, logical thing in the world, when they both knew how unusual it was for someone TK's age to choose to change his name.  Her bright brown eyes smiled down at him in understanding, and he smiled thankfully back.

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

He spoke softly, and as quickly as the decision was made, the hearing was over.  The judge made some statements, and the lawyers tossed cryptic phrases back and forth across the aisle at each other, shaking hands in the genial way that people who often find themselves in quasi-friendly competition are wont to do.  He was only aware of his mother hugging him tightly, tears streaming down her cheeks, and he was hugging her back, all the while looking helplessly at his father, who was still seated, staring despondently at his hands.  As the courtroom cleared, he saw Matt standing next to his father, a look of tempered hurt and acceptance in his eyes.  Matt was upset, TK knew, but he was willing to trust his choice, to be grateful for what time they did have together.

Pulling away from his mother, he looked down into her eyes, wondering when he'd gotten taller than her.  "Mom… Matt… can I have some time to talk to Dad…?"

Nancy nodded, following her oldest son out of the deserted courtroom, smiling back encouragingly at her youngest as the door swung shut behind her.  There was a moment of silence while Malcolm seemed to collect himself, looking up at his son.  He seemed surprised when TK snagged his backpack from a bench and plopped tiredly into the seat beside him.

"That was really, really hard," TK sighed in a remarkably candid and exhausted voice.  His eyes, which Malcolm remembered as being so luminous, were shadowed with something, like TK was carrying a great weight he wasn't sure he could bear.  

"Son, you don't have to explain your choice to me.  I understand if you wanted your mother…" the older Ishida began, only to be cut off by his son.

"No, Dad, I want you to understand why I made the choice I did.  Matt will—well, he'll figure it out in time, but I want you to know how much I wanted to choose you.  I—when I got my memory back, I missed you as much as I missed Mom, just as much.  I guess I just… well, you have Matt, and Mom's by herself, but that wasn't the whole reason I chose her.  There was more, a lot more to the decision and I think you deserve to know the truth.  The whole truth."  

Staring off out the window at the cloudless sky for a moment, TK pulled himself together, breathing deeply before turning back to his father.  "How much has Matt told you about the Digital World?"

Malcolm looked surprised briefly, but he got a speculative gleam in his eye before replying, "Matt has told me about what happened to him and his friends… the tags and crests and Dark Masters and now the Digimon Emperor… but he never… he never mentioned anything about you…" a look of shock crossed his features, "That… that doesn't have anything to do with… oh, God, TK!"

Fiddling with an imaginary fleck of dust on the pristine polished tabletop, TK nodded, not meeting his eyes.  "Unfortunately, it has everything to do with what happened.  I was kidnapped by the Dark Masters.  They held me in their fortress on Spiral Mountain for six months, until Patamon here saved me."

Zipping open his backpack, he allowed a blushing Patamon to peer out bashfully at his father.  Malcolm stared at the digimon incredulously, finally muttering in a sardonic tone, "I don't know if the digimon who saved my son's life should be hauled around in a book bag like a common notebook.  It's highly unsuitable for such a heroic little guy."

Squeaking in embarrassment, Patamon ducked back into the bag, his small face glowing red.  TK chuckled, allowing his partner to retreat for the moment.  Malcolm also laughed, although not unkindly, before returning to a more serious tone.

"TK… why—do you have any idea why they… why you?  There are so many… what do you call yourselves—Digidestined?  Why you?"

Twisting his fingers together, TK seemed to consider this for a long moment.  Finally he pulled the Crest of Hope out from around his neck, staring at it.  "It has a lot to do with this.  More so, actually, than it has to do with me personally, I'd imagine.  You know how Matt's crest is Friendship?  This is mine… Hope."

Malcolm took the proffered talisman solemnly, his eyes widening slightly as he grasped it.  TK wondered idly what other people felt when they handled it… Matt had worn a similar look when he'd held it several days earlier.  A look of… of wonder, as if they were touching something that was beyond what they knew… something almost holy.  TK's wonder, like Kari's for her also revered Crest, was balanced by a dose of healthy pragmatism.  Powerful, yes, and also a tremendous nuisance.  A tremendous nuisance that made its bearer a target of incredible evil… and therefore almost more trouble than it was worth, in his opinion.  Almost.  It did have its uses.

As Malcolm examined the crest, TK continued his explanation.  "The Crests are… well, I can't say I understand everything about them, but I do know that Hope and Light are different from the others.  The long and short of it is that it makes me kind of a big target for the bad guys.  It also means that I… I guess you could say, I have an idea of what my life would have been like, if not for… circumstances beyond my control.  I—you guys would have divorced, anyway, and Mom would have gotten custody of me.  It's hard to explain how—how I know this, but it's true.  I knew I was supposed to be Takaishi Takeru.  I knew you guys were divorced before I even got back here.  Choosing Mom was sort of… my way of reclaiming something that was taken from me.  Do you—do you understand why I chose the way I did?"

Fingering the fine chain of the Crest, Malcolm looked meaningfully up at his youngest son. "You haven't told Yamato _all_ of this, have you?"  Seeing TK shake his head, he sighed, handing the talisman back to him.  "He should hear this from you sometime… your mother, too.  You might want to wait for her hysterics to die down, first, however.  I do understand, though, and I'm glad you explained it to me.  I'll expect you to visit, though, and damn often, too.  The last thing I need is a moody, sulking Matt on my hands.  I've put up with that for long enough."

TK grinned, slipping the crest back over his head.  "Doesn't Gabumon help with that?"

Laughing outright, Malcolm clapped his son on the shoulder.  "That bottomless pit?  When he's not eating, maybe.  I hope Patamon isn't an eating machine like the rest of them seem to be."

TK stood, ignoring the indignant protest from his book bag.  "I don't call him the bat pig for nothing."

"Hey!  TK!  You promised that was just between us!" Came the even more indignant voice from within the depths of the book bag.

"Actually, I promised that I was the only one who would call you that.  I never said I'd _stop_ calling you that."  TK smirked when Patamon did not reply except for grumpy but good-natured mumbling.  

Father and son laughed as they headed for the doors, and Malcolm looked with barely restrained pride at the young man his small son had become.  At the young man whose eyes were luminous again, with relief, and also with hope, which Malcolm understood now.  Holding open the door, he smiled tightly, sadly.  "You remember what I said about visiting, though."

Gripping the straps of his bag more firmly, TK looked away from his approaching mother and into his father's eyes.  "I will, Dad.  I promise."

She doesn't own a dress 

_Her hair is always a mess_

_If you catch her stealing she won't confess…_

_She's beautiful…_

_Meet Virginia…_

_She never compromises…_

_Loves babies and surprises…_

_Wears high heels when she exercises…_

_Ain't that beautiful?_

_Meet Virginia…_

_Well she wants to be the queen_

_And she thinks about her scene_

_Pulls her hair back as she screams_

_I don't really want to be the queen…_

_"Meet Virginia"_

_Train_

Sora bit back a curse as her gym bag hit the ground, spilling tennis balls out into the hallway.  The round yellow balls rolled in every direction, flashing brightly in the bright squares frown the windows that stretched across the floor and walls, letting the sunny afternoon into the silent school interior.  She dropped her racket onto the floor with an angry clatter, stooping to chase after the fugitive balls.  She was on her knees reaching under a trophy case when a pair of black dress shoes paused in front of her.  She froze, realizing the humiliating absurdity of her position, and let her eyes travel up… and up… into the smirking face of Ishida Yamato.

And she'd thought her day couldn't get any worse.

Wearing the tiniest of smiles, Matt held out a tennis ball, his eyes sparkling with mischief.  "Lose something?"

Trying to back out from under the case as gracefully as possible, Sora blushed and blew a strand of hair out of her eyes.  "You mean besides my mind?"  She returned sarcastically, rocking back on her heels.  Then her mind caught up with her mouth. 

Oh, Lord.

"Did I just say that out loud?"  She gasped, her blush growing brighter as she attempted to pull herself up out of her precarious position.  A hand appeared in front of her face, and she hesitated before taking it gratefully, allowing Matt to pull her to her feet.  He held her hand for a moment, until she pulled away awkwardly, averting her eyes from his face.

Matt was still smiling though, although it had become a little strained.  "I can help you find your tennis balls, if you want," he offered hesitantly.  "I can't help you with finding your mind though," he continued, leaning towards her conspiratorially.  Almost against her will, she found herself leaning in as well.  

"And why is that?"  She asked archly.

Glancing around as though to be sure he wasn't overheard, he winked at her.  "I don't know if you've heard the rumors around here, but everyone knows I've been crazy for years."

Sora pulled away quickly, disturbed.  The part about the rumors was true; everyone in school knew Matt had a dangerous temper, ever since his brother disappeared.  The other destined had done their best to dispel the rumors, but in the end it had been Matt's musical talents and looks that had made him popular despite the whispers.  A lot of girls found his past tragically romantic, although Sora found that to be the biggest load of crap she'd ever heard.  Still, to hear Matt joking so off handedly about it…

"Sora, laugh!  Jeez, I wasn't that uptight, was I?"  Matt was grinning at her now… not that it was a grin by anyone else's standards, but it was as close to it as the blond could comfortably get and still look acceptably cool.

Crossing her arms over her chest, and wondering what had occurred between them so suddenly, Sora tried to sound dubious as she replied.  "Well, you're not usually chipper, and that's what I'd have to call this.  Who do I have to thank for this change of heart?"

The question hung unspoken between them… why don't you still hate me?

Shrugging, Matt adjusted the strap of his book bag, being careful not to wrinkle his, as usual, immaculately ironed jacket.  "If you had to thank someone, it would have to be TK."  His grin didn't get any wider, that would be trespassing past coolness, but his face seemed to light up, and he seemed, just more at peace.

Sora understood immediately, and she had no compunctions about grinning as widely as her face would allow.  "Ah, I see.  Then I owe him quite a bit.  I'm very happy for all of you… I—what I mean to say is… I've always wanted you to be happy, Matt.  You know that, right?"

The blonde's expression clouded slightly, but he nodded, softly, and opened his mouth to reply, but Sora cut him off, excitedly.  "Oh, is that him?"

Turning to look where she was pointing, Matt's smile reformed.  TK was on his way down the hall, his arms full of the work he'd missed during his day in court.  "Yeah, it is.  Hey, TK!"  He called, waving a bit at the younger boy, who smiled and hastened a bit down the hall towards them.

"I'm going to take him to grab his stuff and then—and then drop him off at my mom's place," Matt explained.

Sora winced slightly.  "I heard you were in court today.  That means he didn't choose you and your dad, huh?  I'm sorry."

Matt shrugged, still watching his brother approach.  "It's not what I wanted… but it's still a lot more than I used to have."

There was no time for Sora to reply, as TK had finally reached him, shuffling his books under one arm.  Matt ruffled his hair, pushing him slightly towards Sora.  "Sora, this is my brother, Ish—Takaishi Takeru… TK, this is—this is my friend, Takenouchi Sora."

Both smiled at Matt as he introduced them, TK for his last name and Sora for being called a friend.  TK bowed politely to Sora, saying, "Please, call me TK."

Sora smiled broadly, brushing a stray auburn strand out of her face.  She reached in to hug TK, placing a quick kiss on the younger boy's cheek.  "Oh, don't be so formal.  Anyone who can put such a smile on Matt's face is practically family in my book."

TK smiled back at her, before noticing her tennis uniform.  His smile grew broader, and he produced a tennis ball he'd picked up down the corridor.  "Lose something?"

Sora stared at the ball for a moment before laughing brightly and snatching it from him.  "What is it with you two and picking up tennis balls that don't belong to you?"

TK looked puzzled, but Matt's blue eyes glowed mischief, and he crossed his arms over his chest.  "Be nice, or we'll leave you to pick up the rest yourself."

Gasping in outrage, the redhead glared at the older boy.  "You'll help… unless you want TK to hear some less than flattering tales of your adolescence."

This time it was Matt's turn to sputter in outrage, and he did so as TK and Sora laughed at his expression.

As they laughed, they were watched from the shadows by a thoughtful figure.  Tai bit his lip, unsure how he should feel about what he'd been watching.  He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he'd been curious to see how the encounter would play out.  Before TK had arrived, it had almost seemed like Matt and Sora were flirting.

"Well, that's a relief."

Tai whirled to face the speaker, and was surprised to find Davis standing behind him, still wearing his soccer uniform.  He had Tai's cleats dangling from one hand.  "You forgot these," he said, handing them to the older boy.  Tai took them slowly, his mind still reeling from what he'd seen and the shock of Davis sneaking up on him. 

"What's a relief?"  He asked hesitantly, throwing the boy a questioning glance.

Davis looked puzzled, and he gestured to the trio down the hall.  His challenging brown eyes were reproachful when he spoke.  "Them.  I remember you saying that all you and Sora wanted was to be friends with Matt, but that he was the one resisting it.  Well, he seems to have gotten over it, so that's a good thing, right?"

Not looking at trio still gathering balls, he shrugged unconvincingly.  "Yeah.  Yeah, I'm happy about it, why wouldn't I be?"

Giving Tai one last wise look, Davis turned back towards the locker room.  "If you're so happy about it, why are you hiding over here?"  He tossed back, making Tai come up short.

"I'm not hiding!" Tai snapped back, crossing his arms.

Tai could all but hear Davis smirk as the locker room door swung shut behind him.  "Of course you're not."

"Humph.  We'll see if you ever date my sister," Tai muttered at the closed door.  He couldn't really remain angry, though, because he knew Davis was right.  He and Matt were going to have to settle their differences, if only because Kari and now Sora would dismember them otherwise.

"Jeez, Sora, how many tennis balls does one person need?"

"Matt!  There are a lot of balls, but I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation—"

"Yeah, there's an explanation, TK.  It's that she keeps hitting them over the fence into traffic.  Did you know Sora here is singly handedly responsible for the rising rate of car crashes in Odaiba?"

"Speak for yourself Ishida.  I heard the rising rates were due to your deplorable driving skills."

"Want to start, Takenouchi?"

"Any day, Ishida, any day."

"Oh, break it up, you two."

Still standing in the shadows, Tai smiled to himself as he watched the three teens bicker good-naturedly.  Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.

Maybe.

_Grace—she takes the blame._

_She covers the shame._

_Removes the stain. _

_It could be her name._

_Grace—it's a name for a girl._

_It's also a thought that changed the world._

_Because grace makes beauty out of ugly things._

_Grace finds beauty in everything._

_Grace finds goodness in everything._

_"Grace"_

_U2_

Yolei picked at her nails, sighing in boredom.  The store was slow that evening, and she hadn't seen a customer in at least forty minutes.  Satisfied with the condition of her manicure, she propped her head on her hand and stared listlessly out into the warm purple dusk.  People were strolling by the windows, heading all sorts of exciting places, she was sure.  They weren't trapped in a convenient store like a common clerk.  She sighed again, imagining herself strolling in the beautiful twilight, arm and arm with Ichijouji-san.  Then they would go to the park, and…

"Hey!  TK!"  She called suddenly, starting out of her reflections when a familiar face passed her window.  The blond paused, peering into the store curiously.  He smiled when he identified her as the person who'd called him.  Yolei walked to the door, standing out in the balmy night to talk to her newest friend.  TK was leading a large gray dog on a leash, which was sitting obediently beside him as they waited for Yolei to come out.

"Oh, what a nice dog!  What's its name?"  The girl exclaimed upon seeing the dog, offering her hand to be sniffed by the animal.  When Kiu had sniffed it thoroughly, she began to stoke the dog's soft fur.  TK grinned as Kiu leaned into the attention, making happy sounds in her chest.

"Her name is Kiu… and as you can tell, she's a glutton for attention.  Unfortunately she hasn't been getting much of mine lately, with everything that's been going on."  TK sounded genuinely sorry that he didn't have more time to spend with his dog, and Yolei smiled at his sincerity.

"How's Patamon taking to her?"  She asked, picturing the digimon and dog fighting over TK's limited time and attention.

TK laughed.  "Patamon's fine with it, so long as he doesn't have to share my pillow with her.  At least, that's what he said.  They're still negotiating the terms of the settlement, I think."

Yolei laughed with him, standing up and stretching slightly.  "So, are we up for the Digital World after school tomorrow?"

"I think so… according to Kari, anyway," TK replied, his eyes focused on something far off, for a moment.  Yolei watched him for a moment, as he leaned against the store's façade.  She smiled to herself as she made some connections in her mind.

"You look thirsty," She changed the subject, "Here, have a water, on the house."  She handed him a bottle of water from the cooler just inside the door, taking one for herself as well.  She smiled her secret smile again as he poured a little into his cupped hand, allowing Kiu to lap it up before he himself drank.  This would work out perfectly.

"Are you making a lot of friends at school?"  She continued innocently, her eyes following the passersby, hurrying to and fro on the sidewalk before them.  In the distance, she could hear a siren, and the dull roar of city traffic.

"Yeah, some.  Beyond you guys, only a few, I guess.  It's hard being new."  TK shrugged as he said this, sipping his water thoughtfully.  Yolei was impressed with how open he was being with her.  Smiling deviously in her mind, she pressed her advantage.

"I've heard nothing but good things about you… especially from the girls.  You're on your way to being very popular, I think."

She laughed silently as TK blushed; pink rushing straight across his nose.  "That will wear off when the publicity does, no doubt."

"Oh, I don't know about that.  Most of the girls seem genuinely interested in you, and it's not just the blond hair.  Of course, none of them will try anything, what with you and Kari and all…" She allowed her thought to dangle.  As she'd hoped, he snapped it up.

"Me and Kari what?"  He asked quickly, although he was still blushing.

Yolei turned innocent eyes on him, her face puzzled.  "What do you mean, what?  You two have been joined at the hip since you got here.  Everyone's talking about it."  Okay, so the only people who were talking about it were she and Cody, but TK didn't know that.

And what TK didn't know could only be to her advantage.

TK seemed nonplussed by this, his blue eyes distant.  "It's not really anything like that… I just—we just—clicked, I suppose."

Yolei arched a violet eyebrow, pursing her lips in disbelief.  "Oh, clicked, did you?  Then why was Kari reading up on Alaska a week and a half before you even showed up?"

She grinned in victory as TK groaned, closing his eyes and lowering his head.  "Something tells me the only person talking about Kari and me is you."

Still smirking, she tried to reassure him.  "I'm just teasing, don't worry so much.  I'd be very interested to know how she knew you were coming, but I'm willing to wait until you're ready to confide.  Everyone confides to the great Yolei in the end," she teased, shaking a finger at him.  He smiled weakly.  "Besides, it's not like you guys are making out, or anythi—TK!"

At the words 'making out' TK had turned a brilliant red which belied the stammered disclaimer he tried to choke out.  Yolei's eyes grew as round as her glasses, and she hurriedly lowered her voice.

"You guys made out?  When?  What—how—isn't that moving a bit fast?  What's going on with you two?!"

His eyes closed in exhaustion. TK's voice was barely audible over the sounds of the evening.  "It wasn't like that… well, it was a little like that.  It was right after that first battle.  I—we—we're not going out, or anything.  It just happened.  It had as much to do with our crests as it did with us, really."  The last part sounded weak and unconvincing, and Yolei thought she heard something else in his voice.  It might have been yearning.

Her voice was hesitant, as if she wasn't sure she was ready to ask such a sacred question.  "TK, are you in love with her?"

TK's eyes opened, and they seemed tired but bright, and looking into them, Yolei had a sudden insight into the true meaning of his crest.  She kept it to herself, however, and his voice was terribly soft when he replied.  

"I think I might be."

If Yolei's eyes could have gotten any wider, they would have.  As it was she had to step away from the boy to absorb what he'd said, almost as if the impact of it had driven her back.  When she spoke again, her voice was as soft as his.  "How could that have happened so fast?  Are you sure… when did this happen?"

A soft smile returned to TK's face, and he looked slightly amused.  "You wouldn't believe me if I told you.  But—some of this is Kari's story to tell.  If you want to know you'll have to ask her."

Yolei's mouth opened and closed a few times, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say to that.  She was DEFINITELY calling Kari the moment TK left, though.  

TK smiled at her silence, sipping his water thoughtfully.  "What about you?  Any torrid love affairs?"

This brought Yolei back to earth quickly, and she grimaced.  "Not yet, unfortunately.  Especially since I thoroughly humiliated myself in front if Ichijouji Ken the yesterday."

TK choked on his water, coughing as he inhaled the liquid.  "Did you say Ichijouji Ken?"

Yolei cocked her head to the side, completely thrown by his reaction.  "Yeah, why?"

TK's eyes were wide and incredulous when he turned to her.  "Kari didn't tell you?  What was she thinking?  I assumed you guys knew and just weren't talking about it!"

Yolei frowned.  "Didn't tell us what?"

When he turned to her, TK was somber.  "Yolei… how do I explain this… for the second time today… sheesh… Kari and I… with our crests, we kind of know things about the Digital World, and sort of what—what might have happened with it, up to a point.  Now, we don't know much, really anything, about what happened after you guys got your digimon, but for a few specific things.  One of those things is Ken… Yolei, I'm sorry, but… he's the Digimon Emperor."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Do you even have to ask? Of course, I own nothing.

AN: So deeply sorry about the lack of updates, but I'm now on my way to grad school, and as you well know, I don't write over the summer. Anyway, I am going to attempt to finish this fic soon, although I have no idea how many chapters I have left. Oh well. Plot bunnies happen, and so frequently to me. I hope you enjoy this!

__

_Once you know you can never go back._

_"Otherside"_

_Red Hot Chili Peppers_

Cody left TK's apartment building blushing bright red, clutching the bran muffin that TK's mother, ignoring all his polite protests, had given him when he'd knocked on the door looking for the older boy to walk to school. The stop at TK's had been a bit out of his way, but he'd gotten up early in hopes of talking to him about Ichijouji Ken, after the earful he'd gotten from Yolei last night. TK's mother had told him that her son had already left, but wouldn't he like a muffin for the walk to school? So here he was, walking down the street, now ridiculously early for school, with an over-dry muffin he was too mortified to eat but too conscientious to throw away.

Pondering his tricky, albeit small dilemma as he proceeded through the park, he didn't notice the odd looks he got as he marched through the already humid morning, holding a muffin out in front of him as though it was a bomb. In fact, he didn't notice anything until he neared a shaded copse of trees where the Destined sometimes met before heading to the Digital World. He pulled up short as he heard raised voices emanating from beyond the verdant screen.

"I can't believe your making this out to be my fault!"

"Well, I'm not the one who opened my big mouth to Yolei, am I?"

"You never told me you were keeping that secret from them! There's no reason to withhold information like that!"

There was a moment of heavy silence, and then TK's voice spoke again, this time softer.

"Are you going to tell me why?"

"After you left me to be interrogated by Yolei last night? Why don't you ask her if you're both so close?"

There was another silence; this one heavy with hurt feelings, and then the realization broke over TK and Cody at the same time.

"Are you jealous that I confided in her?"

Kari's reply was quick, but there was no anger left in her tone. "How would you feel if I went and cried on Davis's shoulder?"

There was a long silence, and in the dappled shade beyond the trees, Cody's conscience began to ruffle at his eavesdropping. However, his reason, the only part of him that might be able to put down his sense of courtesy and decorum, rallied back, pointing out that TK and Kari were obviously hiding things, about the Digital World and their relationship. How could they have known that Ichijouji-san was the Digimon Emperor? Still, he felt he should make himself known before this got any more personal, and was about to speak and push through the shrubs when a hand caught him and covered his mouth. A whiff of lilac perfume told him it was Yolei, and being too chivalrous to physically push her off, he gave a long-suffering sigh behind her hand and resigned himself to a guilty conscience.

TK, unaware of the growing audience, looked at Kari stonily. "I was hardly crying on her shoulders. There's quite a significant difference."

Kari sniffed, her temper boiling back up. "You didn't answer my question."

Not to be put off, TK answered steadily, "You didn't answer mine. Why were you keeping Ken secret from the others? For that matter, what else don't they know?"

There were only two people in the world who could get Kari truly angered, Tai being one of them, and, although he rarely had occasion to do so, TK was the other. Perhaps it was because of her great affection for him that she could take the accusation in his tone so personally, but in any event, she took it very, very personally.

"Don't you take that holier-than-thou tone with me, Takaishi Takeru! Some of those secrets I'm keeping happen to be yours! Unless you're about to tell everyone what happened?"

There was a silence in which Cody and Yolei could practically hear TK fidgeting uncomfortably, before his voice sounded, hesitantly, "At this point, maybe we should…"

Kari was immediately overcome with remorse, knowing how hard it would be for TK to relate to what were, in essence, total strangers, everything that had happened to him. Especially remembering the promise she had made to his Crest, to help him heal, not badger him into true confessions in front of large crowds. "Oh! I didn't mean that! You know what I meant… you don't have to do this if you're not ready for it. We can blow this whole thing over…"

There was a noisy sigh. "We can't keep treading water like this, Kari. Eventually I'm going to have—to talk this out to someone… I mean, I haven't—haven't even told you. I can't talk to the psychiatrist… what would I say? I was kidnapped at the age of three by evil digimon who chained me in a cell, starved me and beat me in an attempt to break my spirit and destroy my Crest?"

"OH MY GOD!"

Yolei clapped her hands over her mouth in horror, her outburst ringing in the sudden silence. Cody, finally free of her hands, found himself completely immobilized by what he'd just heard. The two destined shared the same sickened, icy feeling of shock. They had been fighting for the Digital World for four years, and while the older destined had alluded vaguely to the idea that something terrible had happened to the Child of Hope, nothing like this had ever occurred to them. Truthfully, in the arrogance of all youth and the power of their partners, they had never really believed that one of them might be so seriously, grievously hurt. They had known, of course, that it was possible, but so are car accidents and you never think that could happen, either.

TK and Kari stepped around onto the path, looking with no small amount of shock at the pair standing in the shadows. Kari bit her lip and looked at TK, worry plain in her chestnut eyes. There was a long, awkward moment of silence, until a very pale Takeru looked at his watch and said, in a subdued voice, "We should get going, or else we'll be late."

Without another word, he turned up the path and walked off, obviously unwilling to face the fallout of what he'd just admitted. After a moment and an exasperated glance at Yolei and Cody, Kari hurried after him, disappearing up the path. Yolei lowered her hand from her face, looking down at Cody, who wasn't that much shorter than she was, these days. His leaf green eyes were soft and troubled.

"So… what happens now?" He asked, his normally soft voice even quieter than usual, barely audible over the noise of traffic and cheerful birdsong. Yolei shrugged helplessly, following Cody silently as he began to head towards school, neither thinking much about their studies.

_"Welcome to my world," she said.  
__"Do you feel alive?" she said.  
__It's all a bad dream  
__Spinning in your lonely head.  
__  
"Welcome to my world," she said._

_"Down Poison"  
__3 Doors Down_

Davis found Kari exactly where he expected to, having known her for several years. His relationship with her didn't have that, well, to his mind _weird_ almost co-dependence that TK's did, but he knew almost as well as anyone. Watching someone for years will do that for you. Just as he'd suspected, since she and TK hadn't seemed to be speaking much this morning, she was sitting alone under a tree, pretending to eat a sandwich while listlessly staring at her uniform skirt. Grinning to himself, he readied the present that he'd-ahem-acquired for her, knowing that all girls liked gifts. Jun certainly did, although Kari, he reflected, bore very little resemblance to Jun in her manner. Oh, well, he was sure she'd like it all the same; it was from HIM, after all.

"Hey, Kari!" He exclaimed, plopping onto the shaded grass next to her. "I got you a bran muffin!"

Kari's face snapped up, a patently false expression of cheerful welcome plastered across her features. She gave the muffin in his hand a somewhat suspicious look, although she thought she might have seen it before. Shaking her head, she turned her eyes back to Davis, taking the muffin with a tired, disinterested air.

"Well, thanks, Davis. You…you really shouldn't have…" she muttered, placing the proffered token in her bag. As she glanced up, she saw Davis' chocolate hued eyes studying her shrewdly, his expression displeased. She knew in a heartbeat his expression had little to do with muffins.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or will the brilliant Davis be forced to guess?" He frowned slightly when his exaggerated bravado failed to elicit even an exasperated smile from her. A worried crease appeared between his brows when she simply sighed and looked away, and a strange awareness came over him. She was like this because she and TK had argued, and he knew without asking that she had never looked quite that way after a fight with him. But then her pale countenance turned slightly towards him, and his own selfish observation faded back into his sub-conscious before his concern.

"Kari, is this about the fight you and TK had this morning? Yolei told me—"

Kari's eyes flashed up to his, a look that eerily reminded him of Tai bright in her eyes. "Yolei needs to learn to keep her big mouth shut!" she snapped, pleating the edge of her skirt between angry fingers.

Davis snorted, and to his own great surprise contradicted a Kamiya for the second time in his life and the second time in two days. "I think we both know that this is not Yolei's fault."

Kari's anger, already on such a short leash that day, flared. "Oh, so everything is my fault, then?"

Raising his hands in defense, Davis smirked ironically at her. "Woah, don't get me wrong, Yolei _does _have a big mouth, but she had every right to tell us what she knew for the good of the team. I, however, also want to believe that you were withholding that information for an equally good reason."

As her angry mind processed Davis' defense, Kari's anger melted away, her good humor grudgingly restoring itself. "Seems like I just can't win an argument around here anymore," she said, smiling wanly. A soft summer wind picked up her hair, the shine of it briefly distracting Davis from his reply. He pulled himself back to reality, mentally slapping himself.

"Uh…Kari… well, I—we—the team, that is… was wondering, well—what exactly is going on with you and T—" he found that, newfound maturity aside, he simply could not bring himself to say it, and so… "With you and the Digital World?" He finished lamely, knowing Yolei would have slapped him upside the head had she been present.

Kari stared up into the sun for a moment, breathing deeply and evenly. "When I figure it out you guys will be the first ones to know…" Seeing his exasperated and slightly disappointed look, she sighed. "Oh-kay… not up for the comedy I see. In all honesty, I—TK and I," she diplomatically ignored his wince, "haven't figured it out yet. We are piecing it together though… although it's—some of it's very personal, especially for TK. Yolei told you about… this morning?"

Seeing his nod, she continued softly.

"Yeah… well you see what I mean, then. But we will get to the bottom of all this, and I promise, we'll tell you what we can when we can." Kari could see by looking at him that Davis wasn't liking this conversation one little bit, both for its distinct lack of information, and for its continual references to TK. Still, if she could continue to stall them, to put off the confrontations and confessions, to protect TK from their scrutiny and them from the truth, just for a little longer… she could, would make all this work, however Machiavellian she may have to be to accomplish it.

Davis looked dubious, but he was willing to do what he could to sell that answer to the others… however… "Well, I'm okay with that… but I should probably warn you… I—umm… kind of accidentally told Tai what's been going on."

Kari groaned, covering her face in horror. "Oh, Davis… why—just why—oh, am I ever going to get the third degree…"

Davis felt bad, knowing he had added to her burden, and said sullenly, "I didn't know what to do, so I went to him for advice about all this…"

There was a moment, and then, lifting her face from her hands, she considered him strangely, until he began to fidget under her scrutiny. Then the very tiniest of smiles stole onto her face, as though she had discovered a strange secret. "You know Davis, despite yourself, you're turning into a really good leader. I—I never knew you went to Tai for advice about things. I'm very impressed. Unfortunately I will be forced to kill you for ratting me out to my brother. However, you can have the pleasure of dying knowing you've lived a worth while life."

The jangling, off key bell signifying the end of fifth period and their lunch cut off Davis' reply, and he smirked at her as the both stood to return to the building. "Ah! Saved by the bell! Well, murder another day, I suppose—"

"Kari? Oh, my god, Kari?!"

Kari stared up at him in confusion, wondering how he had gotten so tall and why the tree was spinning over her head. Her whole body felt off kilter, and she realized he was holding her up. There was panic in his eyes, and she mumbled something to the effect of, "What happened?"

"What happened? You passed out, that's what happened! You dropped like someone slide tackled you! Are you okay? Never mind, we're going to the nurse, no arguments!" Before Kari could utter so much as a syllable of dissent, Davis half-carried, half dragged her towards the school, both their bags slung over his shoulders. She sighed in defeat, wondering idly if not eating her lunch had caused her sudden wooziness, praying that the answer was that mundane.

_"…I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it."_

_Memoirs of a Geisha  
__Arthur Golden_

Cody found his target across the street from the school, just a few moments after lunch began, thanking his lucky stars that their lunches lined up despite their different grade levels. TK was sitting on a bench overlooking the blazing sunlit bay, kneading a white hat absently between his fingers. The salt breeze, hot and arid despite the proximity of the water, ruffled his blond hair into his eyes, which stared unseeing into the blinding brightness reflecting off the water. Standing practically on top of the boy but still unnoticed, Cody marveled at how much you could not know about a person. Ironic, because just this morning he had felt he knew entirely too much.

Coughing slightly to get the older boy's attention, Cody bowed politely when TK turned to him, before speaking. "Good afternoon, Takaishi-san. I wonder if I could talk to you for a moment, if you're not too busy?"

TK started slightly, before looking ironically at his half eaten lunch and slightly worse-for-wear hat. "I think I might have a few free moments," he joked, smiling at the green-eyed boy. "Why don't you sit down… oh, and please call me TK. We're both Digi-destined, after all. And I'm hardly much of an upperclassmen."

TK's smile seemed easy and carefree, and Cody realized that he was looking at a mask the likes of which he'd never seen on anyone, besides, perhaps, himself. He rarely let anyone see past the polite exterior, except Yolei and his grandfather, especially since the death of his father. He had a feeling that few people had ever seen TK anything but cheerful, and if not by chance this morning Yolei and himself would have never seen or been given reason to suspect otherwise. He knew, however, that no one could be easy and carefree after this morning's accidental admission, Crest of Hope or otherwise.

"I wanted to apologize for this morning. Yolei and I never intended to eavesdrop on such a personal conversation. I deeply apologize for any discomfort our poor manners may have caused you and Hikari." Cody remained standing, bowing deeply in apology. TK looked at him oddly, as though he didn't quite know how to take this… although, as Cody knew, he had spent most of his life outside of Japan, away from such formal courtesy.

Motioning Cody to take a seat, which the boy finally did, TK shrugged as though what had happened was the most casual, forgettable thing in the world. "Please, don't worry about it. I can forgive both of you for wanting to know more than what little Kari and I were telling you. This was probably the universe's way of pushing me in the right direction, anyway."

Cody seemed a bit disturbed by his casual attitude, and spoke again. "Thank you for accepting my apology, but… I mean, I don't wish to pry, of course, but perhaps… you'd like to talk about it?" The last bit of that sentence came out rushed; as if he was afraid he'd lose his nerve to ask.

TK turned his eyes back to the bright water, seemingly unaffected by the glare although Cody was forced to squint in the noon sunlight. Almost five minutes passed this way, the only sound the roar of traffic and the lonely cries of the gulls, and Cody was about to creep politely away, mortified by his nosiness, when TK finally spoke.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, really. Honestly, I was only three at the time… I don't remember it all that clearly…at least, not while I'm awake…"

The last words came out softly, as though TK didn't intend Cody to hear them. Hear them he did, though, and his eyes darkened with sympathy and remembered pain. He stared into space for a moment, his thoughts focused on the past flashing before his mind's eye, and before he knew it, he was telling TK something he'd never told anyone.

"I think I know what you mean. After my father died, I used to dream about him all the time. I guess it's not quite the same, but to this day my subconscious remembers him better than my conscious mind, at times. Maybe that's just the mind's way of protecting itself from pain, by burying it where you can wake up from it." Shutting his mouth with a snap before anything else could fly out of it, Cody wondered idly what was going on with him today.

TK, however, looked impressed, considering Cody's words carefully. "I—I never thought of it that way. Thank you, it helps, a lot, I think."

Cody kept looking straight ahead, although a faint rose stole over the bridge of his nose. "Your welcome," was all he said. There was another moment of silence between as each pondered his own pain, but this silence was companionable, and Cody noticed that TK had stopped wrinkling his hat, although he still did not put it on.

TK finally spoke again, his voice curious. "Cody… if you don't mind my asking…why does everyone call you that and not Iori? Cody's not even your middle name."

At this, Cody smiled, the memory, though sad in it's way, never failing to bring a smile to his face. "That would be Yolei's doing," he said, half amused, half exasperated, "She met me not long after my father died. I was very, very depressed and angry at the time, and not much fun to be around, I imagine. She took one look at me when I moved into her building, and latched on to me, even though I was so much younger and bad tempered besides. She never liked the name 'Iori,' so she decided to call me Cody, after an uncle of hers in America. She says it's because we both have green eyes, but I recently I saw a picture of him at her house and his eyes are brown."

TK, although smiling at the story, looked puzzled. "Then why—"

Cody just continued to smile, a wise look on his face. "I can't be sure, I didn't really want to—to expose her little lie, but I think I know why. I was very angry with her for a while after she started calling me that, and I believe she knew I would be. A name is such a personal thing, after all. But being angry at her allowed me to express the pent up anger I had at my father for dying and leaving me, an anger I could never have felt expressing otherwise. She gave me a venue through which to purge all the negativity I was hanging onto after—after it happened. Of course, she'll never admit she had any such plan, and I can never admit that I know. It's just become one of those… best friend things, and now, everyone calls me that, even my mom."

TK nodded, looking at the younger boy with curious, measuring eyes. "Yeah. That's really interesting, how it caught on. A name is so… so integral to personal identity, as I've come to find rather the hard way."

Cody looked surprised at this admission, sobering. TK saw his mood change and held up his hands. "Hey, no… I didn't mean to kill the cheery mood, there. It's no big deal… my name is one of the things that has gone my way, lately. Although I'm a little surprised. I'm not usually one to discuss personal problems, and I don't gather you are either. But here we both are, spilling our guts to each other. It's weird, but a good weird, I think."

Cody mulled this over, and smiled. "I know what you mean. I would be honored to call you my friend, though, and after this conversation, I believe we must be friends."

TK smiled at the youngest Chosen, "I would also be honored to call you friend… by any name. Anyway, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't ever have too many friends." Glancing at his watch, he stood abruptly. "The bell's about to ring, we should probably get going."

Sure enough, the bell rang as the teens approached the street. Looking quickly up and down and seeing nothing, TK moved to cross with Cody right behind him.

The next thing he knew, he was standing on the median between the lanes, his arm in Cody's iron grip. The world spun for a minute, but managed to keep his feet, looking at the shorter boy in confusion. Cody looked pale as a Bakemon.

"TK! Didn't you see that bus? It was honking—you stopped in the middle of the street! It almost hit you, and you didn't even seem to—what happened?"

Confused, the blond boy looked down the street, seeing the bus down at an intersection… but he couldn't remember seeing it, or stopping in the street at all. Sensing Cody's concern, he put on a calm face, even though he felt as though… something was off, out of synch, somehow.

"I'm sure—I was probably out in the sun too long, and then got up too fast. I'm not used to weather this warm, it probably just got to me." Despite his convincing tone, Cody looked skeptical.

"Maybe you should go to the nurse." Cody's tone made it clear that what he meant was, 'Go to the nurse. Now.' TK shook his head, trying to clear it. He was sure of one thing, he was not going to expose himself to further scrutiny from the medical profession. Blackouts would certainly give that psychologist something to grill him over.

Crossing the rest of the street with exaggerated care, TK shook his head firmly. "It's fine. I'm fine. Come one, or we'll both be late for class."

Turning towards the younger wing of the school, Cody watched TK walk towards the high school, a concerned look dominating his features. As the warning bell rang for sixth period, he resolved to talk to Joe about this just as soon as possible.

_She got out of town, on a railway New York bound  
__To call except my name, another alien on Broadway_  
_  
Well some things in this world, they don't make sense,  
__Some things you don't need until they leave you,  
__And then the things that you miss…_

_"Bright Lights"_

_Matchbox Twenty_

For the first time in his life, Joe was skipping class, and enjoying it. Despite what should have been a guilty conscience, and terrible traffic all the way to the airport, and a three-hour delay in her flight arrival, he was grinning almost foolishly. He had every reason to grin because racing towards him through baggage climb was a pink haired figure, dropping equally pink luggage thoughtlessly by the wayside as she threw her arms around his neck. Some passersby sniffed at the public display of affection, but Joe ignored them and simply relished hugging her back.

"Oh! Joe! I missed you so much! Oh, wait 'till you see what I brought everyone from America! Oh! How is everything? I got the e-mail you sent me on the plane; I'm so glad everything's going better! Especially for poor Takeru! Oh, let's go, I can't wait to get home!"

She still had her arms wrapped gleefully around his neck, and Joe had to push aside considering her typical strawberry scent that reminded him of camp outs in the digital world and of life and death situations in an oddly pleasant way. She blushed, suddenly, as if hearing his thoughts, and disentangled herself from him.

Straightening his glasses, he smiled foolishly at her like so many others before him had, and he gathered her bags, gallantly offering her his arm. "Right this way, Princess Mimi. Your chariot awaits in Temporary Parking D."

Laughing at his overdone expression and the familiar, old joke between them, Mimi took his arm graciously. "Then lead on, good sir!"

Her laughter startled the security guards as they passed out the automatic doors, and feeling his sleeve under her hand and smelling his funny, not unpleasant hospital smell, she felt at once that she was finally home.

_They blazed a trail I dared to run.  
__They built this world and I have come._

_A petty maze of emptiness,  
__I said to hell with all the rest._

_"By My Side"  
__3 Doors Down_

Meanwhile, in the Digital World…

Ken watched the strange code rushing down all the screens of his control room, filling the darkness with muted rose and gold light. He couldn't read the runes that made the code, but he was, at the moment, pleased that he had finally found a way to access it. He'd known for years that there had to be such a code, a binary code that was the base of the Digital World. Now, through sheer luck, it lay exposed before him, ready to be altered in any way he pleased. He chose a line of code and erased a character, watching on another screen as a tree near Primary Village disappeared.

He smiled cruelly, scratching absently at the back of his neck. Forget being perfect…

For the Digital World, he had just become God.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: No own, No sue.

AN: Well, here we go. Lots going on in this chapter, and we're pulling up on some action sequences soon. Imagine that.

Also, a cameo from Izzy! All that and more!

Happy reading!

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point."

_C.S. Lewis_

Tai Kamiya was not one to take a responsibility lightly, in truth, even as a child he never had been. In his world, in his life, filled with danger and worlds to be saved, his greatest responsibility had always been his sister. This had always been very clear to him, long before he was the Child of Courage and she the Child of Light. Those facts only gave a name and reason to what he'd felt all along; Kari was something very special and very rare, and was to be protected above all else. In fact, he often thought, with no small amount of guilt, that if forced to choose between her life and the Digital World, he would owe the Digital World a huge apology. This was very clear to him, as clear as the line between good and evil, between courage and cowardice, between honor and infamy. Tai preferred that all things in his life could be clear and easily definable, and by and large, certain digital issues notwithstanding, his life was quite clear. His role was quite clear.

Or at least, it had been.

Looking back, he could pinpoint the rise of the Digimon Emperor as the beginning of his unease, and the reason why was obvious. The old digivices were blocked, and his Crest had not availed him any further. He could not fight this darkness. That alone was a blow to the young leader, so used to standing in front and now relegated to the bench. The worst was yet to come, however. New chosen children arose to fight the Emperor… and with them went Kari. It hadn't been a surprise, really, somewhere in the back of his mind he'd known that the Crest of Light would hardly be crippled by such a small thing as a dark spire. If any Crest were to be in the forefront, it would be Light. It would be Kari.

If he weren't so terrified every time she went through the gate without him, he'd probably burst with pride. He never said anything to her, though. He just swallowed his fear for her and watched her go, knowing there was nothing he could do for her and hating it. Tai knew that letting her go alone required more courage than anything he'd ever face, and courage, at least, was very clear and comforting to him.

After four years, although the fear had never lessened, he'd become accustomed to the new order of things, and grudgingly had become comfortable with it. But now another change was sweeping the Digidestined, and it too was making him question his role.

All of the older kids had always had an unspoken understanding about the role and importance of each of the Crests. They were all vital, of course. Some were obvious, Courage, Knowledge, Love. Others were subtle, like Sincerity, Reliability, and Friendship. The final two were understood to be different. The Crest of Light was clearly powerful and sentient, its meaning and importance buried in the mythology of the Digital World. It acted on its own, powered an exceptional digimon, and belonged to a girl that stood out from the other destined in an indefinable but undeniable way. It just went without saying among them: Kari and her Crest are different.

In a similar vein, they had always thought of the Crest of Hope in the same way. Perhaps more so, because there hadn't been a face, a child to go with it. Ishida's younger brother had always been… almost a silent presence among them. He was missing, lost, but his role among them, his place by the campfire remained there still. They never spoke of him, but they carried the knowledge of his absence, and Ishida's grief had been palpable around them. Mimi had once remarked, sitting by the mouth of a cave in the digital world, watching the rain patter against her cowboy boots, that it felt like the digital world was wounded, and it cried from the pain of it, the pain of its slow bleeding. She'd been looking at Ishida when she said it. They'd all understood.

Tai had always found it odd that the Crest of Hope, of all things, should represent this loss they carried unspoken among them.

Like the Crest of Light, it acted of its own discretion from time to time, always when they needed it most and not a nanosecond before. Those occasions were rare, but when it happened, it was… an experience. Tai remembered the prophecy… arrows of hope and light, so Agumon and Gabumon could digivolve farther than they ever had before. It hadn't quite happened as the prophecy stated, but in the end, the strange, compelling powers of hope and light had been made clear.

Now the Crest of Hope had a face to go with it. Takaishi Takeru had reappeared, and considering all Tai knew about the crests, he didn't need Sora's emotional intuition to guess that he and Kari would get along. They would have things in common, certainly, be friends, even.

Tai was okay with that. In theory.

Reality was a far different story. Kari certainly did feel something for Takaishi, but it certainly wasn't friendship. He'd seen her face on the beach that morning, even though she'd tried to mask it as anger. She'd been terrified… about Takaishi… for Takaishi. When he had appeared, she'd blown her top at him. Shouted up and down the beach, and then she'd turned on Tai, himself. Through her yelling, he'd seen her eyes. No one, not one person in the world knew Kari as well as he did.

He knew what he'd seen. He'd snapped at the boy and Kari had leapt to his defense, taking his side against her brother. She'd never done that before.

Why, oh why did it have to be Ishida's little brother?

"Kamiya!"

Tai jerked from his thoughts, turning red as he realized his entire sixth period class was staring at him. That included Ishida, who for once was looking at him instead of ignoring him. He looked worried, and he motioned Tai's attention towards the instructor, their feud apparently temporarily forgotten.

Tai looked at the teacher, expecting a chastisement for his prolonged inattention. His history teacher was leaning over him in concern, however, a strange look in his eyes.

"Kamiya, the office has called for you. Your sister has fallen ill, and passed out at lunch. You should—"

Tai never heard the end of the sentence.

_"Knowledge is power."_

_Francis Bacon_

Izzy growled in frustration, barely restraining himself from tossing his laptop against the wall and watching with supreme satisfaction as it broke into irreparable pieces. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back in his chair, staring up at the tiled ceiling, listening to the squeak of plastic as his chair bent back. Slowly breathing, he tried to think rationally, pulling his extremely active mind in, focusing his entire formidable intellect on the problem before him. He went over what he knew.

Someone had accessed the code of the Digital World. _Gee, I wonder who…_

This person had no qualms about altering the code to their whims, without regard to the living habitants of aforementioned Digital World.

This person, as of yet, appeared to have no plan or pattern… all the alterations appeared to be random and experimental.

Altering the code randomly was both dangerous and immoral. The potential consequences of this action were like a butterfly flapping its wings. It was like traveling through time. It showed a complete and utter disregard for the sanctity and autonomy of the world and its inhabitants.

Also, it could very well destroy both.

Watching the softly colored characters flying on his screen, Izzy recalled the care and reservation with which he and Gennai had altered the time codes of the digital world, years ago. Every mathematical eventuality had been precisely calculated, weighed against the needs of the many. Now someone… three guesses who… was randomly erasing characters, just to watch things disappear! And the worst of it was, Izzy himself, bound by his morals and plain old common sense, could not bring himself to alter the code. All he could do was replace and repair what he saw change, hoping he caught them all and scrambling to catch up. He glanced at the clock… three-thirty. The younger kids would be heading to the Digital World soon…

A chilling thought brought him up short… when they went into the Digital World, they became part of it, their bodies became data and code… so logically, anyone with access to the code could…

_He had to stop them from going in!_

Reaching for the phone, he glanced at his view screen, his finger frozen over the speed dial.

As he watched, an entire island began to sink into the sea, a _full line_ of characters disappearing simultaneously from the window beside it.

_God damn it!_

Slamming his finger onto the button labeled 'Yolei-cell,' he jammed the phone between his ear and shoulder, turning both his hands back to the keyboard, typing frantically. The tinny sound of ringing reached his ear, and he growled softly in time with it.

"Pick up… pick up… damn it, Yolei, this is freaking important!"

"Hi! You've reached Yolei's phone! I'm obviously not available, so please leave a brief message after the beep…"

On his screen, the island suddenly reappeared, looking as good as new.

Beep!

"Yolei—this is Izzy. You guys have to stay out of the digi-world! I can't explain over the phone, but something really bad is happening, and you could all be killed or worse if you go in! Trust me on this! _Do not_ enter--!"

A click signaled the end of the recording. Sighing, Izzy hung up the phone, staring in despair at the code of the Digital world, suddenly exposed and vulnerable before his eyes. Beyond his ragged breathing, his room was nearly silent, except for the normally soothing whir of his laptop, and the faint hum of the air conditioning. Sunlight felt noiselessly across his hands, helplessly resting in his lap.

All he could do was wait… wait for the other shoe to drop, for the ax to fall, and just pray God he could catch it and set it right.

Izzy was so intent upon his waiting that he jumped, almost sending his chair over backwards when a dialogue box appeared on his screen.

::Having fun yet?::

Blinking in surprise at the text, Izzy frowned as he typed a reply. ::Who is this?::

::As far as the Digital World is concerned, God. The great and powerful Oz. Big Brother. Take your pick.::

Leaning forward in amazement, Izzy's fingers flew over the well-worn keys.

::The boy who would be emperor. I should have known. Do you have any idea what you're playing at? What you're risking? If you keep this up, the Digital World will collapse around you!::

::Who's going to stop me? You? You've who have had the code all along, and simply sat on it? Unwilling to seize the power that was beneath your fingers? Or those sad little children who call themselves destined? Let them set foot in the digital world. I welcome them. You know what I'll do to them. You wouldn't be able to save them all.::

::What's stopping me from doing the same thing to you? I could alter the code… use it to kill you. I know you're in the Digital World, I could find you easily enough. You just found the code; you're only beginning to understand it. I've been studying it for years… I _invented_ this game.::

::How ironic that you're about to lose it. You won't kill me; you don't have it in you. Even if you could find me.::

::You're very arrogant. You should know you're not the only genius in the world, Ichijouji Ken.::

There was a moment of silence, which stretched interminably as Izzy stared at the blinking cursor. Suddenly the text box disappeared, as Ken terminated the conversation. Smirking, Izzy guessed he'd been shocked that he knew who he was… and mentally he thanked the swift and merciless gossip channels of the Digidestined, through which information was disseminated with a speed and accuracy that any intelligence agency would admire. Watching the code carefully, but seeing no further changes, he addressed himself to his long, technical and only slightly panicked e-mail to Gennai, the fifth he written that day.

One thing was certain… something had to be done about Ken, and soon.

It's a long way down to nothing at all… "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out of" 

_U2_

TK stared, unseeing, into his locker, trying to remember what he'd wanted when he'd opened it. His eyes wandered aimlessly over the letters on his textbooks, but he couldn't seem to pull any sense from the words. Meian Era literature… pre-calculus… economics of the developing world… what was he looking for, again? He glanced at his watch, noting with relief that he hadn't blacked out, again. Time seemed to be moving normally, for the moment. Sighing, TK grabbed his math book, knowing it was a pretty sure bet that he had homework in it, even if he couldn't remember what it was.

He heard footsteps approaching through the still, empty corridor, a shadow flashing out of the squares of sunlight stretching towards him across faded blue linoleum. A flare of gold told him who it was, and he relaxed slightly, wondering why he was so wound up, why his heart had been racing and his adrenalin flying all afternoon without respite. He was exhausted from the prolonged stress, and he saw that his hands were shaking visibly. Gathering his stack of books, he held them to his chest to disguise the trembling.

"Hey, squirt, what's up?" Matt greeted him, his shirt fashionably un-tucked beneath his dark green jacket, looking ever the cool, composed celebrity. If he'd had the energy, TK would have envied him that composure. As it was, he closed his locker and leaned wearily against it. He smiled as best he could, knowing what Matt expected to see and trying his best to look the part and avoid any unnecessary questions.

"Not much… I was just going to head home and start on this mountain of homework." TK hoped his voice sounded wry and cheerful and not tired and pathetic. He honestly couldn't tell how it sounded, but he didn't want Matt to worry.

A worried frown marred Matt's face. _Damn… guess there's no fooling him…_

"I thought you said you were going to the Digital World today?" Matt's tone was more worried than his expression belied, and his eyes swept up and down his little brother critically. In truth, the reason he's sought TK out was because he'd had an awful, icy feeling in his chest all afternoon, like the feeling you get just before a sob, and whenever he closed his eyes he saw TK, disappearing before his mind's eye. He had known something was wrong, but had still hoped that he was imagining things, imagining the feeling of dread. Looking at TK's white face and barely disguised trembling, he knew he'd been right.

TK shrugged, pretending to scrutinize the books and notebooks in his arms. "I think the others are going in… I haven't talked to anyone but Cody all day… I told him I—that I wasn't feeling up to it."

Matt stepped closer, laying a hand on TK's shoulder. "I don't think they're going… Tai got called out of class today to take Kari home sick. And now you're—"

He was cut of by TK, the younger boy's tone finally having some energy to it. "Kari went home sick? I—I didn't even notice she wasn't there…and Davis, was he missing, too? I don't remember…" He trailed off, trying to remember his afternoon classes, but all he could recall was trying desperately to hang on to his consciousness, and occasionally getting reprimanded by teachers for staring at the clock. All afternoon he'd watched the time, seeing whole minutes seem to be skipped. It was if his reality was a scratched CD, jumping and skipping randomly, leaving him with absolutely no memory of the lost time.

A firm hand grasped his chin, forcing him to look up into icy blue eyes currently bright with anxiety, while a second hand pressed against his forehead, checking for fever. The pale skin didn't feel warm, and TK squirmed away from his brother, making a face. Matt ignored the younger boy's protests, scrutinizing his brother from head to toe. Except for his pallor and the wary, exhausted glint in his eyes, he seemed all right. That diagnosis didn't sit well with the older boy, who finally released TK's chin, but kept him trapped by the lockers.

"Alright, Squirt. You couldn't lie effectively if your life depended on it. What's wrong, and do try the truth this time." Matt's tone was flat, betraying little of his inner anxiety, and he smirked coolly when TK flushed and lowered his eyes. The younger boy spoke towards his shoes.

"I'm… kind of having these… black out… things…"

Matt stared at the boy for a long moment… waiting for his composure to come back before he spoke. When he finally replied, it was in measured, clipped words. "What exactly do you mean by black out things?"

In a small voice, TK related the events of the afternoon, about his seeming lapses in reality and memory, attempting to minimize his fear but leaving no details out. It took almost twenty minutes to relate the tale completely, and it was almost three-thirty when he finished. Towards the end, Matt had his brother's shoulders in an anxiously over-tight grip, his face now almost as pale as Takeru's.

"You blacked out and almost got hit _BY A BUS_ and it didn't occur to you that you _might_ need to see the nurse?!" Matt wasn't _quite_ shouting.

The Bearer of Hope refused to look up from the floor. "I'm afraid it has something to do with… with what happened… and my amnesia. I can't talk to them about it anymore, Matt. The therapy… it doesn't help. I spend the whole time trying to tell her enough without saying too much and I just end up more stressed out than I started."

Matt had to tell himself twice to loosen his grip before his fingers obeyed. He squeezed his brother's shoulders softly, feeling hopelessly out of his depth with only several weeks of older-brother experience to draw from. Silence hung between them like a glass veil, delicately spun from a fragile relationship and so capable of shattering into the sparkling shards from whence it came. Taking a deep breath, Matt tried to think of what to reply to this when TK took the matter out of his hands.

Collapsing completely, TK's books and notebooks fell from suddenly limp arms to explode onto the tiled floor in a small blizzard of loose pages, drifting into the deserted hall. Matt barely kept his brother from following his homework down by gripping his arms and propping the teen's dead weight against the lockers. Lowering his brother gently to the floor, he tilted the pale face towards him.

TK was as white as a sheet, his eyes closed and his face expressionless, as though he was deeply asleep. Brushing the limp gold bangs aside, Matt cursed at the feel of his brother's skin. It was icy, terribly cold to the touch despite the sweltering heat of the hallway. Remembering his first aid lessons, courtesy of Joe, Matt found TK's pulse quickly, wincing at the rapid—_too rapid!—_beats, in time with the shallow breathing, the only signs of life from the boy.

Frantically the blond looked up and down the hall, desperate for help but unwilling to leave his brother's side. He thought angrily of his cell phone, safe in his car, right where he didn't need it. All of the classrooms were locked, and the main office was on the other side of the building. Seeing no other option, he began to shout, knowing someone must still be in the school.

"HELP! Someone, HELP! Call an ambulance! Please… somebody…" He trailed off, staring desperately into the deserted hall, the cheery bright sunlight mocking him. He looked desperately at his unconscious brother, ready to run for help, and felt again for a pulse. Pushing aside TK's collar, he felt something move… the crest! He pulled frantically at the chain, the pendant falling into his hand. The symbol was flickering feebly, and felt slightly cold to the touch. It had never felt cold while Matt wore it. An idea whispered in the back of his mind, something odd and unbelievable. Pulling out his own crest, which he'd been wearing since the Dark Ocean fiasco, he gripped it in his fist, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

What's going on? What's wrong with him? 

His Crest grew cool to the touch in his hand, but he was used to that. The Crest of Friendship had always seemed cool, like the light it cast. He wondered if it would work in this way, if it would respond to him, as Hope seemed to work for TK.

In his mind's eye, images began to flash. Some kind of… letters, colored letters of light against black… the digital code… he'd seen it on Izzy's computer. As he watched, the characters disappeared and rearranged. And again, and again.

I don't understand! What does that have to do with TK? 

His crest grew colder still, and unbeknownst to him, blue light was beginning to fill the hallway, pushing back the sunlight. He saw TK and Kari, on the beach… the pink and gold lights of their crests, carving a path between realities. Then the code reappeared, the characters flashing at him. Gold. Pink.

Gold.

Pink.

The code.

Dropping his crest as though it had burned him, although it had done in fact quite the opposite, Matt stared at his younger brother, whose eyes were beginning to open.

"Oh—my—God. I get it now… I understand—"

TK squinted up at him, confusion in his eyes. "Ugh… what happened… wha—Mimi?"

Whirling, Matt turned to see Joe and Mimi behind him, concerned looks plastered across their faces. Joe was kneeling behind Matt, opening a bottle of water that he handed to TK, who took it shakily and drank without protest. Mimi was standing above Joe, TK's books and papers stacked neatly in her arms.

Matt watched his brother drink for a moment, nodding in approval, as TK's shivering seemed to subside. "Joe—Mimi—how—why are you guys here?"

Joe was timing TK's pulse on his watch, and answered absently. "Cody left a strange message on my cell, saying TK had seemed off, somehow. His… your mother said he wasn't home yet, so we came here. We heard you yelling for help. We didn't call an ambulance, because we saw your crest's light and knew it was a digital world thing."

Matt nodded. "Thanks a lot. TK just… passed out, no warning what so ever. He was cold to the touch, and his breathing was shallow. What do you think?"

Joe continued to scrutinize the younger boy, who had recovered enough to squirm uncomfortably under their gazes. "I think he should probably go home and rest, at least until we find out what happened. Does it have something to do with the digital world?"

Matt relaxed enough to smirk broadly. "Rather a lot, actually."

Joe and Mimi exchanged confused looks, and Mimi shrugged and turned to TK. "You said my name before… how did you know who I was?"

Here Matt openly snorted, drawing three surprised gazes. "I have a pretty good idea, I think. TK can explain the specifics on the way to the computer lab. He's opening the gate and then we," he paused, looking at Joe and Mimi, "are going to the digital world while he monitors us _from the outside_. Something is very wrong, and if we don't fix it, it's going to hurt TK and Kari even more."

Silence descended on the hall. After a long moment, TK pushed himself to his feet, only wavering slightly. Joe and Matt stood also, standing beside the boy in case he dropped again. TK turned to his brother, confusion in his eyes. "Matt—how is the digital world hurting me and Kari? I don't understand what you're getting at, and I'm certainly not letting you guys go in alone."

Already heading towards the lab, Matt ignored his brother's confused question, but replied to his protest. "There's no way you're going in, TK. If you're this sick out here, you're not going in, period. Besides, Gabumon, Gommamon, and Palmon are already there. Gabumon emailed me yesterday." Turning suddenly, he confronted TK, causing the younger blond to pull up short. "Promise me, TK. Promise me you won't go in until this is worked out."

"But Matt--!"

"Promise me, Takeru."

TK lowered his head in defeat. "I promise, Matt. But I still don't think you guys should go in."

Joe and Mimi watched the interplay in silence, their questions forgotten. They followed the brothers to the computer lab, Joe silently grateful that he'd brought his book bag, which was of course full of medical supplies. They arrived after a few moments, and the older kids stood in silence as TK typed up the gate.

Mimi looked at the tableau before her, worry marring her pretty features. "Maybe I should wait out here with TK. What if he faints again? Shouldn't we call the others before we rush into this? This isn't like you Matt!"

Turning his computer chair around, TK looked up at his brother, hope in his eyes. "She's got a point. Joe even said I should go home and rest. Why don't we do that, Matt? We can call the others from there."

Shaking his head stubbornly, Matt tried to express the urgency the crest had imparted to him. Something had to be done that very moment; he wasn't taking a chance with TK's life. Not this time, he wasn't going to make that mistake twice in his life. "No, we have to go now. Mimi, you should stay out, that's a good idea, and thank you. TK, open the gate."

TK stared at his brother with a stubborn look on his face, and Joe leaned over to Mimi, whispering, "Do you think Matt and Tai have somehow switched bodies?" Despite the seriousness of the situation, she giggled, seating herself at the station next to TK.

TK hadn't given up yet. "Matt, this is crazy! Your digimon can't even digivolve, and we don't know what's going on in there!" Seeing his brother's closed expression, he sighed heavily and pointed his D3 at the gate. They waited for him to open the gate, but he hesitated, a strange look on his face. "Matt… I have a really bad feeling about this. I—I don't think you should go in there… please, listen to me," he grabbed the older boy's arm, looking him right in the eyes. "Matt, you said you understood how I knew things. Well, I'm telling you now, I have a bad feeling about this."

Matt looked at TK, his expression softening, and opened his mouth to speak. The gate cut him off, flashing brightly, opening on its own.

"Digi-port Open!" A computerized voice chirped into the stunned room. Before TK could say another word, Matt grabbed Joe's arm and they both disappeared.

"Matt! NO! Damn it, you idiot!"

TL collapsed back into his chair, staring at the gate, which closed itself and vanished. Placing a concerned hand on his arm, Mimi spoke softly.

"What did you feel, TK?"

Staring woodenly at the screen, TK shivered. "Menace."


End file.
